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Reviews
Titanic - La leggenda continua (2000)
Gave me a headache
Frederick Fleet: "Titanic the animated movie", right ahead!
Officer Murdoch: Hard a' Starboard!
[60 minutes later]
Captain Smith: What's happened?
Officer Murdoch: It was "Titanic the animated movie" sir. I tried to port round it, sir, but we saw it...
Captain Smith: My God...
Not all of the people who worked to make this movie were brain-dead. Some of them actually seemed to put forth some effort. However, whoever was in charge of this picture must have been fairly ignorant as to what warrants a good film, as the editing is poor- specifically, words that did not match mouth movement, and numerous instances of re-used footage- the script wasn't too bad, but the characters were knock-offs of more famous characters from movies as "Cinderella", "An American Tale", "101 Dalmations", and others. The basic plot is a watered-down version of James Cameron's, and there IS in fact a rapping dog scene- it really is very surreal, and has no meaning. The end was also too happy for such a Marine time disaster, and there's an end monologue that has to be heard to be believed.
I saw "Plan 9", and it had a cult quality that made it entertaining- there were parts that just kept me watching. But this 60 minute movie seemed longer than the 180 minute 1997 piece. I was waiting to see how they would handle the actual sinking, and it was utter crap. Scenes show water coming in on BOTH SIDES, and they showed the same shot about 5, 6, maybe even 7 times, sometimes in the reverse. Then, they showed people in the boiler room throwing buckets of water at the walls- no joke- They also show the ship break in half, then sink, then break in half again, then it disappears. The editing in my 10th grade English movie project was better than in this.
I have occasional migraines, and certain things set them off- frustration at work, parties that are too loud, lack of adequate water... and apparently this movie. It is just so surreal, and the editing so crappy that it set off a migraine, and it took me two far better movies, an hour of "That '70s Show", and two hours of drooling over my model of the TITANIC to try and wash that film out of my head. This review really has made me feel better too, and I can actually read my keys again. So, unless you're really curious, or among friends and ready to make fun of something, don't watch this movie- I did the former, and all it really gave to me in this life was a warrant to write this review, so as to warn you good people to avoid this movie at dollar stores and cheap Wal-Mart movie bins. Thou hath been warned.
Shake It Up (2010)
Okay...
Shake it up is one of the newest shows to roll off the production line from Disney. Honestly, it will keep the little kids entertained, and teach them to move dance, and move around in an age where too many kids are inactive and obese, and its crazy enough to make them laugh. However, if you're older than 10, it should prove very transparent. The actors and actresses might have some talent, but its choked by poor dialog, and directors who are requesting crazy, over the top movements that honestly are not funny. It's like Nickelodian had Drake and Josh, which was great, and the leftovers from that went to iCarly, and then Disney counterfeited the leftovers from that. Bottom line- its harmless for little kids, but teenagers and adults will find it dull. My suggestion, watch Wizards of Waverly Place, or Phineas and Ferb.
Planet 51 (2009)
A novel idea for a film
This film's premise is a really great idea- That a human lands in a lesser developed world of aliens, who have black and white television, see the universe as 500 miles wide, and really are at the same state America was in in the '50's in culture. The scene where the Astronaut, Chuck, takes a "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" moment to the sound of "2001 A Space Odyssey," places the American flag, and then sees the aliens and realizes he is in their backyard, is priceless. And the movie was great in its physical humor, with spoofs and funny little extras. The only thing, however, that held it back was the dialog. unfortunately, this great movie was hindered by an inorganic and static wordplay, with the obvious being stated, or jokes being cracked without comedic timing. So, 9/10 for plot/picture, but 3/10 for the weak dialog, which I'll average out as about a 7/10 total.
Lost (2004)
A great show, with a good ending.
Lost was a great show. It started with utter excellence. There was great action, with wonderful mysteries. So many episodes left us with an expression on our faces of "What the fish biscuit?" (if you've seen the show, you'll have understood that!) there also was a fair amount of drama and relationships, keeping us watching the show to the end. The end itself was, as I'll put it, good, rather than great. Closure for some of the mysteries would have been more satisfying, but the ending was nonetheless dramatic and left you deep in thought. So, 9.5/10- it was a great show.
P.S. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?