Change Your Image
giglbox
Reviews
Occupy Unmasked (2012)
Crapoganda.
What happens when you manage to round up 7-8 people who criticize a movement? "Occupy Unmasked." One of the most disgusting works of crapoganda I have witnessed since old Hitler Youth footage (which, by the way, the makers would love for you to believe that the Occupy movement is along those very same lines). Here, you see the same old, tired arguments about communism, socialism, anarchism, etc. without the slightest attempt to even explain these ideologies (within Occupy or in sociohistorical contexts overall). It's blatant, angering, insulting, and, while containing an element of truth in some respects, goes exceedingly out of its way to force feed the viewer a large dose of b.s. The filmmakers go to great lengths to make the Occupy participants look like a bunch of idiotic trust-fund babies out to, essentially, rape and destroy without ever even knowing what they are fighting against. Interestingly, it pinpoints "anti-capitalism" sentiments but, and it would be funny if were not so terribly stupid, mentions nothing of neoliberal policies, the very REAL downfalls of capitalism, terrible political decisions and subsequent wars, the fact that the college students they condemn (particularly because of their "trust funds") may in fact be gambling the prospect of a decent job vs. student loans and long-term debt, and so on and so on. Anyway, it's garbage and as a student in the midst of ever increasing debt and with bank accounts with institutions that charge me just to have a checking account while enticing me to take out loans with them, my personal opinion is that this film is an example of clueless contradictions; catering to others who, for instance, care more about their guns than the actual constitution. If you do decide to waste time watching this film here's a fun game to play: count the number of times you hear the word "left," or its derivatives, mentioned. In fact, it would make a very fun and effective drinking game.
Ted (2012)
Haha! ha....ahhh....hmmm...
Funny...at first. I heard many good things. I watched it and initially agreed. Then a "what happened" moment came over me and ruined the entire absurd plot. I think the real disappointment was that, as in so many other movies, the idea seemed original. But, then the formula kicks in. Admittedly not heavily, but enough. It seems to be part of the steady downhill slide of SM's work. But, hey, at least Seth Rogan wasn't the star! When I approached those "friends" that told me how great this film was and conveyed my disappointment, THEY AGREED! Once again, this seems to be a film that you feel obligated to like. I didn't but I still recommend it because it is funny at times. As far as the high ratings on IMDb, I have to ask, "really?"
Amber Alert (2012)
Bellessa = Gorgeous; Movie = Horrific
The good: Bellessa. I have never seen her but have followed up on her (yikes stalker!). She's quirky, sexy, intelligent, and attention-grabbing. Unfortunately, this is one of the most annoying movies I have ever seen! The IDEA itself sounds interesting but execution was severely lacking (blame the script I guess). Also, this is NOT HORROR, hell, it barely fits the thriller genre. Instead it is akin to taking a long drive with friends that won't stfu! The dude: Over emoting annoyance. The lady: feeding off of the bad acting of the dude. The result: annoyance (did I already say that?). Honestly, this could have been cut to a short feature and saved itself, but the director (apparently also a Bellessa) didn't see the flaw.
Mr. Show with Bob and David (1995)
Older and yet still better than the garbage coming out...
Mr. Show is one of those comedy runs that you actually have to think about. If you don't get it then watch it again. If you still don't, then turn on the latest reality crap and wallow in ignorance. It was, and still is, one of the funniest and most clever shows to ever exist. And, many of the comedians you will recognize not from a typical SNL terribly written sketch. These are not the Seth Rogan types of pseudo-comedy but actually funny people, great writers, and the humor makes sense...to most. HBO screwed up when they let this one slip away, but, that is good in a way (after all, look at what HBO has turned into!). There hasn't been many shows even close since and I would recommend to anyone to have a watch and judge for yourself.
The Company Men (2010)
Good grief!
Yeah, yeah. Another film about the "economic downturn." And, once again, another all-star cast jumping on another over-populated boat. Affleck is give and take IMO, and in this film...it is take. Not exactly a "realistic" view. Lacking in character meaning. For example, Affleck is forced to take a construction job but that seems to mean little in the overall, and drawn out, plot. It seems more like filler! On top of that, I got the feeling I was supposed to feel sorry for someone. I certainly did, the audience! It is essentially one of those "who can do the best movie about a current event" types. Like, the overload of school shooting movies or the recent increase in the already over-written genre of military movies dealing with Afghanistan. It's just...contrived and worse yet, not very entertaining. I encourage people to watch it. Might as well be reminded why there is such a thing as "straight to DVD."
A Complete History of My Sexual Failures (2008)
This won an award? For what?!
Crap. There's your spoiler. Only the Brits would give this garbage an award. Funny for 10 minutes. Annoying the rest of the time. This doesn't seem like "director's vision" it seems more like a low-budget spoof of nothing. This is one of those films that you feel obligated to like just because of the fact that so many other people do. IMO, it is a movie worth watching for as long as you can sit through it just to understand why mass film-making capabilities are just that. If I had to sum it up, you just don't feel any emotion for the director/main character/actor/whatever he is. I wish I could write you a short essay explaining the merits of this film, but, watch it and maybe you will know why I can't.
The Quantum Activist (2009)
Boo...
This isn't really science at all. It is humorous that a PhD can give a person so much power...when supported by the right people. The biggest problem is...wait for it...GOD! This is philosophy and personal opinion dressed in scientists clothing (so to speak). The fact that someone can make an argument and then destroy it so easily by adding God to the equation should arouse suspicion in even the undergraduate mind. Just because someone uses the word "quantum" doesn't mean they know the be all end all (if there is such a thing and assuming humans could ever comprehend such), no matter how many textbooks, or how many supporters there are of the idea (which I would suggest to all to look up such supporters and the real arguments at hand). Maybe there is something to be said for spirituality in science, but I would venture an INFORMED guess that any "GOD" is not the logical outcome and the idea of spirituality is skewed in a particular direction by Goswami. If you rate this documentary more than a 5 then you essentially abandon any claim of skepticism, scientific understanding (even if just attempted understanding), and pure common sense. if you can skew evidence one way then you can skew it the other...interesting that the "other" rarely makes the definite claims as found here.
Funny People (2009)
Ha!
What do you get when you put a dried up comedian with a comedian who was never funny to begin with? FUNNY PEOPLE! The name itself cracks me up because it is the epitome of irony! Not only is the movie way too long and dry, it simply is not funny! If it weren't for Jonah Hill, there would be no humor at all. My God! What has happened and why does Apatow Industries Limitedly Unfunny keep trying this crap?! I dare say that if their is a target audience for this garbage, then the future is indeed bleak! Anyway, I watched this one with my fiancé. It reflected badly on me...be warned. Unless of course the amount of weed in your system outweighs your ability to even distinguish funny from not, then I say go for it! Hopefully it will be a memory that is lost in the hazy aftermath of multiple bong hits.
Pineapple Express (2008)
Please..Stop!
Seth Rogen. Lame. The movie itself. Way too long and stupid. Funny ends about half-way through. I think that if you are 12-20 you might love this movie. If you are older and love it then you probably have some sort of disorder. I must admit, I am biased. Seth Rogen should not be acting in my opinion. He ruins pretty much every movie he is in. He's like Brian O'Halloran in Clerks. He's just not believable! Your character can do nothing aside from being boring. Maybe it's the writer(s) (ahem...Kevin Smith...more crap). Anyway, if you haven't seen it, just ask a friend and that should be enough to convince you to save your money.
Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)
Just when you think...
...it's gonna be scary! It's not! I think we can put a halt to this garbage now, don't you? When all else fails, add some creepy little kids and TA DA! Insulting. There is a ghost in a sheet in this one. No, I'm not joking. A ghost...in a sheet...do you hear what I'm saying? This time, we are back in the VHS days! Next time I guess it will be Super 8. After that, someone sketching the events! Another pitfall, in my opinion, is the same old, worn out "I don't believe you" gamut. "I don't want to hear another word about ghosts!" How many times can the willful ignorance card be played? Anyway, when it is available at Redbox or the like, it maybe worth a dollar, but I feel sorry for those who paid to see this follow up to crap, that was a follow up to crap, in the movie theater.Whoa is me!
Quantum of Solace (2008)
Wake me up....
Olga Kurylenko...over tanned and despite her range of language and her French stardom...just sucks. On to the movie. More drawn out, not worth following convoluted plot. I wonder if even the most hardcore Bond fan could stomach a mediocre hero and an even less than mediocre heroine. What cracks me up the most is that it draws its plot from a very real Bolivian water shortage and makes that reality into a mockery! The nerve. It's not even good writing. But, it's easy to make a movie that exploits real problems when the target audience has no idea about those problems. Just my opinion. Stop the Bond garbage. It's old. Spoiler: look out for M putting on her night cream! YIKES!
Fase 7 (2010)
Razors killed it...
20 minutes in, bad enough. Smart one minute and stupid the next describes the pregnant girlfriend...unbearable. Maybe if I was fluent in Espanol I would rate this higher, but despite language it still has the same idiotic character flaws of pieces of crap like Halloween. "OMG, why would I think rationally in a situation such as this?" Because your in a B-flick that, if I had to guess, got decent ratings because it's not in English. A kind of "Well, they don't know that the 'I'm stupid and your stupid but somehow we will live' plot is stupid." I recommend the first 20 minutes and ask...are you irritated yet? But, hey, I can't truly bitch because I couldn't make it that long. So, allow me to offer up this suggestion, If you enjoy READING clichéd and just plain shitty stories then this movie may be for you. I found that having to read the Spanish didn't distract me one bit from the stupidity of the plot.
Mission: Impossible (1996)
Tom Cruise...Stop!
This first MI movie was bad enough as it was. Now that we are on MI 12, or something like that, it just makes it worse. Most puzzling is that many of the actors in this movie have done GREAT movies. Thus, I have to wonder, were they improving in this piece of crap? Was De Palma just like "Meh, f*ck it, let the special effects guys write this garbage." Don't get me wrong, Tom Cruise is an awful actor anyway but Christ it was a so-called all star line-up! If it wasn't touted to this day as a good movie I wouldn't comment, but this sh*t will not end! Kill it already! In my opinion, if you haven't seen this movie, consider yourself lucky!