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Get Him to the Greek (2010)
For some reason- making a movie out of the best part of another great movie fails
As a huge fan of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, I originally had extremely high hopes for the movie. All of the best lines in Sarah Marshall were delivered by Russel Brand, and they were delivered perfectly. "Take my Eyes but not my shirt!". After seeing the preview I adjusted my expectations for this movie downward significantly.
After the first 40 minutes of the movie I thought I was going to enjoy it, but every remaining minute of the film proved me wrong. At exactly, 40 minutes the tone, quality and fun of the movie went from about a 6.5 to a 4 at best. There are at least two very long scenes (5-10 minutes each) in the movie that I thought, why did no one in the room acting this out not ask, why? I am surprised that the movie was released in its current form.
Also, 80% of the jokes in this movie are about drugs? Some drug movies are funny, and some drug jokes are funny in regular movies, but it didn't work at all here.
I found that by the end of the movie when the characters had their big moments, I simply did not care. I didn't care what happened to any of them. I saw this in the theater, and will not be renting this when it comes out in Redbox for $1, and I own most, if not all of Judd Apatow's other movies.
If you're a fan of Sarah Marshall, you should pass, and re-watch it instead, but you won't, like I did. If you're not a fan of Sarah Marshall, don't bother.
Valentine's Day (2010)
Love Actually has been surpassed- just kidding this movie is garbage
If you ever wondered what would happen if someone forced a 5th grader to rewrite the script of Love Actually on a roll of wet paper towel with a crayon, and then forced that same child, to act in the movie without telling him how, then you should go see Valentine's Day. If you did not wonder what would happen in the scenario above, that's great, don't see this movie. If for some reason you did, read on so that you can satisfy your curiosity without wasting $22 like I did. On a side note, the kid in the movie should not be blamed for acting poorly; he was just trying to keep up with the rest of the cast.
In order to jam all of the "stars" into this movie somehow, the kid who wrote it had to have 10 plot lines going on at once. Unfortunately, half way through the movie I realized that only 1 story line was remotely entertaining, and included actors that I wasn't completely annoyed by. By the end of the movie I realized that that one plot line was garbage as well, it just took longer than the others to get there.
It's impossible not to compare this movie to Love Actually, but you really have to feel bad for all of the people who were involved with Love actually who are still alive and have to see the comparisons being drawn. It would be the same as if when "Ninja Assassin" came out, reviewers all commented on how similar it was to Saving Private Ryan.
There is nothing to like about this movie. It contains every imaginable cliché that has ever been put into a movie, these have been listed below for your convenience: Stunning millionaire Jessica Biel can't find a date on Valentine's Day her whole life (sad face); Old people making out after they make up about something; Guy gets dumped by hot girl but finds he always loved his best friend Best; friend from previous line realizes she loves said guy when 9 year old boy asks her if she has ever fallen in love with her best friend; Small town guy has to overcome big city girl's "crazy" lifestyle to make 2 week relationship work; Kid (assumed writer of the screenplay) runs away from home to deliver flowers to the love of his life on a bike; Man runs through airport barefoot to chase a girl (of course)
You have been warned.
The Happening (2008)
Rent Shooter instead.
I stated that the review contains spoilers, but to be fair the movie was spoiled long before I typed up this review. It was spoiled before they even started filming.
Imagine this, In the US in 2008; plants are mad at humans for hurting the environment so they spray poison in the air that makes you commit suicide. Now, imagine that Mark Wahlberg is running away from the poison filled wind (no, I'm serious, running from the wind) in a field, with some kids and his annoying wife. Mark and his lame crew run faster than the wind apparently, because they find a hut in the woods where some old bag lives. They shack up with her for a day and she yells at Mark Wahlberg for looking at her doll? What? The old woman starts gardening, then turns into a zombie for some reason and kills herself. Also, at some point two 8 year olds get shot for attempting a B&E at the wrong house. If you have imagined the paragraph above, then you just saw "The Happening" and saved yourself an hour and a half.
My favorite part of the movie was when John Leguiziamo tells us he'll be right back after he gets his wife out of the poison. If you can not burst out laughing during this exchange, you're a better man than me. At this point in the movie we know his time is severely limited, because he says good bye for 2 full minutes. Unfortunately he should have spent the time he wasted saying goodbye on doing something cool, because as it turns out, he had a total of 3 minutes to live. Unfortunately, his death as well as every other death in the movie, (except for one out of place lion mauling, which owned) was pretty much done off screen like a made for TV USA movie.
Finally, the end of the movie is probably one of the lamest ends to a movie that I can think of. Really Mark? You need to hug your wife right now, outside in the poison field? Really? I wish they died.
Rent shooter instead.