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DJJ2002
Reviews
Shakespeare in Love (1998)
Not as bad...
...as you might think. Ralph Fiennes plays William Shakespeare, as he falls in love with Gwyneth Paltrow's character. It won't really make you laugh, but you won't be bored, either. Oh, and as much as I hate to admit it, Ben Affleck's english accent isn't too bad. Rating: 3/5
Adrift (1993)
Utterly hilarious!
This is the best comedy I've ever seen! Two badly acted psychos terrorise two badly acted partners on a badly acted boat! Okay I think I've overkilled it a bit now. Sorry. Anyway, I couldn't catch the plot 'cause I was laughing so hard. Actually, I told you it earlier. This is definitely a bad movie, not even so bad it's good, it's just, well, bad! Rating: 1/5
Lo sbarco di Anzio (1968)
Anzio (1968)
Anzio is an average war film. It follows World War II. The plot is okay, the acting isn't bad, and the action is good. But do you want to know the best thing about this movie; it has old Columbo himself, Peter Falk, as a soldier. Great for a laugh. Rating: 3/5
Duel in the Sun (1946)
Duel In The Sun (1946)
I am not a big fan of westerns, so I'm hardly going to give this a good review. Sorry. It basically follows the plot of a mixed race woman and a white man having a relationship together. That's about as good as the plot is. It seems to add in a western style background just for the hell of it. Rating: 1/5
F/X (1986)
F/X (1986)
F/X is a strange little thriller about a superb special effects maestro (Barry Brown) on the run from two FBI agents, who double crossed him after they recruited him to use SFX wizardry for the Witness Protection Act. (Phew!) Okay I admit I couldn't follow the plot 100% of the way through because it was late at night and I was really tired. But what I did see of it didn't seem too bad, but I did find the ending a little odd. Rating: 2/5
Payback (1999)
Okayish dark thriller
Spoiler warning
Payback is both a good and a bad movie. Good? Some fairly decent action scenes, witty conversations, Lucy Liu not wearing a lot. Bad? Horrifically violent, no one to root for and a slow pace. I'm not going to explain the plot because it's quite confusing (money, double crosses, mobsters) but I will say it is a very violent film. One review claimed that it is no more violent than your average Hollywood blockbuster, and he is right. What makes it so bad, is that it's the (anti)hero who's inflicting it upon people. I've heard that in an alternate version to the one I've seen Mel Gibson's character Porter rips out a man's eyeball in an elevator, leaves the doors to close on his head, and then later rips the other eye out. This film actually made me feel sick. Not because I'm queasy or anything, just because it's the supposed hero who causes most of the damage. Who the hell are you meant to root for?
On the plus side, though, it's an all-round fairly entertaining film. And Lucy Liu! "Hubba, hubba" indeed!
3/5
Jackass: The Movie (2002)
Brilliant!
A couple of months ago, when looking on IMDB, i noticed a film called Jackass: The Movie. I loved the programme and my friend had a copy of this on DVD. Never have I laughed so hard! Some of the stuff was gross (fireworks up the ass, toy car, yellow snow cone), some stupid (BMX tug of war, Johnny getting shot, department store boxing), and some just horrific (papercuts, bungee wedgie), but it was all funny. Other memorable bits; Fireworks wake up, night pandas, off-road tattoo, someone getting their ass kicked by a girl, old men, sweaty fat f**ks, and many more. Watch this film. Just be careful of the papercut scene! I still feel funny after watching that!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)
Worst Of The Trilogy
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)
(Possible Spoilers) The Ninja Turtles (one of my favourite series' as a child) return in their third, and worst, movie. Not alot happens in this one (the Turtles go back in time to 17th century Japan, have lots of fights) though some of the fight scenes are pretty good. Overall, children will love it but they still won't like it as much as the others.
2/5
The Shiny Show (2002)
Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Shiny Show is brilliant! Okay so it's made for small kids but it's just so darn funny! They made up a story about a gingerbread cabbage and talking cows! And they said pants! Dogsbey is my favourite because I feel sorry for him. He never wins! And Tiggs is evil! Watch The Shiny Show! It's hilarious!
The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy (2003)
Brilliantly Bizzare
Grim & Evil is an extremely wierd series, and that probably explains why I like it. It is my second favourite series (the first being The Simpsons). It is split into two mini episodes. The Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy is the superior of the two. It is about two friends, Billy & Mandy, who befriend the Grim Reaper. It is extremely wierd and funny. Billy's an annoying little boy with a nose as big as his mouth, and Mandy's a hilarious, sarcastic girl. And as for Grim, he's very funny too. But is he Jamaican, English, or just a skeleton with a wierd accent? The second show, Evil Con Carne, is about a disembodied brain called Hector Con Carne which takes over a stupid bear's body. Together they try to take over the world. Basically the show is brilliant. I'd applaud myself if I'd made it up. I'd also lock myself in an insane asylum. Some of the humour's a little adult for little kids, but they probably won't get it anyway. Oh yeah and don't forget the title sequence. Ha, ha, ha. Overall this is a brilliant series. I recommend you watch it. You won't be disappointed.