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Reviews
Rookie Blue (2010)
Ridiculous
Rookie Blue lost it's plot long time ago, now it's written purely for 13 year old fan-girls after soppy love plots and how they imagine the world of grown-ups. Any relation to actual police work is laughable, it's just a lame scene for "love stories" made for girls who were until recently playing with their Barbies. The stories could just as well be happening on Star Trek SS Enterprise for all it matters (actually that would probably help, there would at least be some justification for all the stupidity of the plots, it would be sci-fi).
Acting is ridiculously exaggerated so that adolescent fan-girls can get the "depth" of the situations, the plots are laughable and often idiotic, tuned to the level of understanding of it target audience.
Rookie Blue was never a high level TV, it used to be a comfortable time killer, it's main attraction for non-teens being the pretty faces of Missy Peregrym and Charlotte Sullivan (the blonde one), and a few eye candies for female audience. Well, the eye candies are all still there, only they turned sickeningly sweet and everything else is long gone. If I see one more "deeply love-hurt" face from Andy McNally (M. Peregrym) or her heart-throb Sam Swarek I'm gonna puke.
I expected much more from M. Peregrym when I first saw her a few years ago in Reaper, I thought she may be the next big thing. Unfortunately, she turned out to be strictly afternoon TV and webisodes face, playing basically the same person and practically the same role over and over.
Shame, Rookie Blue could have been much better, turned into a lame parody.
Royal Pains (2009)
Awful beyond words
This is one of the most idiotic things I saw on TV. If the two main actors ever had any acting classes they should ask for a refund immediately. The plot is just retarded... characters are about the most stupid and annoying things you can come across. Clichés are not just abundant, but they are mixing them from just about any genre they could think of. Who on earth makes this sh**t ?!?? Patheitc acting, laughable stupid plots... Awful. Stupid. There are school plays that are better this. And I am only still wasting my time and wearing out my keyboard because stupid IMDb insists that I write at least 10 lines about this cr*p.
The Brothers Bloom (2008)
For those who think having low IQ and no creativity is "being artistic"
A pile of pompous, pretentious c**p. Oh, wait, it must be "artistic" then.
There is no story as such, just some lame, shallow claim that two brothers are con-men. The only evidence of which is at the beginning of the movie when we are subjected to a long and lame story how they tricked some kids out of $30. Those painfully boring 10 min are supposed to be intro to the story, and to set suspense into character building... It does that, because it prepares you for the rest of incredibly shallow, stupid and devoid of any logic "creation" (can't really bring myself to call it a movie).
This thing doesn't have a story. The writer is not intelligent and/or educated enough to put together more than 3 sentences that relate to each other. Oh, wait, then it must be "art", right.
As for characters, most cartoons have more believable and explainable characters. It all goes something like this: "he is a con men... never mind how and why, just go with it because I say so, I'm not clever enough to think of a good con to corroborate the story... just go with it or else I don't have a movie!" The same applies for any other character trait you can think of.
Logic and story flow... oh, wait, this "art", you are not suppose to have that. The mere fact that I'm mentioning those things must mean that I don't understand "art". This whole thing is so mind bogglingly stupid and shallow that you can just hear all those "artists" oooh-ing and uuuuuuh-ing about it. As for me, all I see are pathetic throws and twitches of a doped idiot who is trying to make a "deep" movie and is as good at it as a chronic alcoholic is at running 100m race.
The mix of places, clothes, behaviour etc is another gem. The gang is going to Europe on a steamer (!) and our heroine arrives in her Lamborghini. And she lives a castle. In New Jersey. Ooooh, so deep and artistic.
The trip from USA to Greece leads you pass the many snow-covered mountains. As we know, the ocean is full of them, as is the Greek coast.
Our heroine is also very beautiful, incredibly rich, and lonely. As you would be, when you are young, beautiful and rich.
The title suggests that the brothers last name is Bloom. Yet one is called Stephen (or something) and the other is called Bloom. So what is his full name - Bloom Bloom? Apparently it was too much of a mental effort for the writer to come up with another firs name. Oh, wait, it is artistic...
The whole thing is just a slide show of mind flashes of some idiot who doesn't have enough imagination, education and life experiences to make it even mildly entertaining. Imagine your 50 year old spinster aunt showing you postcards of places she would like to have gone to and romances she would like to have had.
Etc, etc, etc... one could write about how stupid this thing is for a long time. But that would be just more waste of time and life, discussing somebody's pathetic, impotent attempt to be "creative" and "artistic". Compared to this, even certified c**p like Paris Hilton movies is more entertaining and logical. Scarry thought, I know, but if you manage to sit through this pile of brown stuff as I had to, you will see what I mean.