Change Your Image
christellecellier
Reviews
Passion simple (2020)
Read the book and enjoy the movie
It was a very good adaptation of a very short book. It is nothing new exactly but it really shows what passion looks like from the inside.
The woman is head over heels in love with a Russian man, who is possibly a spy. She does not care that he is married, or that he decides when and where they meet. She relinquishes all power in this relationship that she has succombed to. She still manages to work but can barely function as a mother. Everything and everyone come second to this man she knows nothing about. They don't have an intellectual or spiritual connection. All they do is have sex together but she is addicted to him and there is nothing she can do about it.
Don't expect any action. It's a film about a French modern woman, a mother and a college professor, who yearns for a beautiful and mysterious man that she can never hope to be with. It's a good film from a good book whose title says it all without any pretence or complicated ambitions.
Bye Bye Blondie (2011)
Don't bother watching the film BUT...
... read the book! It is a beautiful love story between two broken people, one more so than the other. The novel will break your heart. The movie will bore you to death. How can a writer betray her characters like that ? I never would have thought it possible. There are no dialogues, no real emotion or chemistry. You know nothing about one or the other, who they are, where they come from, why they mean so much to each other, what they each bring to the table and how they all mess it up.
Even the ending is different, less dark. So maybe that was the message of the director : it would have been better if Gloria had fallen for a Frances rather than an Eric. Gay couples are happier and better suited than straight ones?
It would have been all right if that had been the only change between the novel and the film, but it wasn't. Even the way they meet again is different. Frances just shows up for no reason in the bar where Gloria is, 30 years later. She doesn't look happy or excited, just blasé. They hook up again but the viewer doesn't get it: what is the attraction between these two women ?
The movie is like a very bad reader's digest of the book. So please, read the novel. It will make you feel and think.
Une colonie (2018)
Not bad...
But very, very slow. Nothing much happens. The characters are under developed. The story is about a girl who was bullied her last year of middle school (we don't know what happened exactly) and who is longing for a friend in her new high school. Her Native American neighbour, and outcast, is very nice to her and, to a lesser extent, so is another « popular » girl who needs her help in History class. Yet she barely even speaks to them.
After a while, she chooses the boy's friendship instead of following a path of underage and unwanted sex, and they both end up teaching the girl's younger (and much wiser) sister to ride a bike.
In the end, Mylia seems to be finding her way just when her parents split up and she has to move into town. Though really sad to leave Jimmy behind, she has grown and finally owns what sets her apart from her peers. After a short while in her new school, she thus looks happy and determined. She expresses her love to her sister and writes a letter to her Abenaki friend, asking him to kill her if she becomes like everybody else.
This coming of age story is sweet but it would have been nice to hear the girl talk a bit more. Fine, she is withdrawn because she is unhappy and lonely. She does not fit in, she does not know how to act around people and she cannot manage to be nice to Camille. The viewer could have gotten there in a shorter period of time. Sometimes you just want to shake her into doing or saying something so instead you tune out.
I am almost positive that people who gave this film a good rating are adults. I don't think most teenagers would give it the time of day and that is a shame because it should speak to them first. Grown ups have nothing to learn from this story, (except maybe that they don't know how to deal with bullying in school but the movie won't teach them anything in that regard).
Histoire de Marie et Julien (2003)
If I have to be honest...
This film only works because Emmanuelle Béart is incredibly beautiful and fascinating to watch. Her acting is terrible in this movie ; the scenes in which she is supposed to be in a transe are almost cringy. Yet her magnetic presence makes it all worthwhile. The sex scenes are not exciting but the idea of sex with her (even for a straight girl) somehow is enough.
It all comes down to casting the right woman because her male counterpart, though a better actor in this, is quite repulsive. Why cast an old, overweight and ugly man as the love interest of such a dreamy woman ? You don't want her being touched by that man and you can hardly believe she would love him so passionately since nothing about his looks or personnality make him stand out in a good way. Quite the opposite actually.
As for the story, it is really weird, if not completely absurd but again, with Béart as its main subject, you cannot stop watching.
So basically, if you are not a fan of hers, just walk away.
Ovsyanki (2010)
Must be very artistic...
.... Because it is terribly boring! It seems that when movies made by non Anglophone directors deal with traditions, death and other supposedly « deep » subjects, critics are always over enthusiastic.
There is barely any dialogue, people are neither beautiful nor thin, there is no real plot to speak of, nothing happens : oh well it must be a wonderful experience of the senses, almost mystical, transcendental.
You have to be a poet, an intellectual or an artist with a love for emptiness and a lot of time to waste in order to enjoy watching such a film.
I can hardly understand why some critics have written that it was sensual and erotic. Hearing a man say his wife's « three holes » worked perfectly and that they only had sex when he initiated it did not make me feel the slightest bit aroused.
To each his own I guess but I would appreciate it if the media were a bit more honest when it comes to « foreign » films and that is why I decided to review this very dull Russian film and tell it like it is.
Minnie and Moskowitz (1971)
« I'm sorry, it's not you, it's me »
Oh boy, no, it's definitely him! Was it really meant to be a love story ? The guy kidnaps her, threatens to beat her if she tries to get out of the car, bursts in her house uninvited, yells at her, pushes her around, all the while pretending he loves her after a few hours of meeting her.
She tells him « it's not there » and he replies : « I think it is » just before hitting the walls and screaming that girls usually love him so she cannot not be in love with him... she tries to end it and still be nice about it and so he threatens to kill himself, cuts his moustache instead... I mean... how can anyone watch this movie and not find it terribly creepy? The guy is a nutcase but still, he proposes to her after 3 days and she accepts.
And remember, the guy looks like he is 70 (even though the actor really is about 35) when Gena Rowlands is beautiful and obviously upper class. He is a complete loser - even his mother says he is « not Einstein » but « a bum » who « has no ambition » and is « not pretty ». A terrible mismatch that would make anyone uncomfortable. Oh but they get married... how desperate can a girl be ?
However, in the end, we are supposed to believe that it was actually a match made in heaven because we see a child's birthday party that seems to be going really well. Hurray for the underdog !
Don't Worry Darling (2022)
Riveting and visually stunning but...
So many plot holes !
Why do the men die for real in the simulation but not the women? Why does the boss' wife stab him in the end ? Did she know all along ? It really seems like it but why would she have accepted to live in this virtual world ? What happens to Franck and her during the day when the men check out of their virtual reality? What kind of work do they do in the real world ? What does Franck get out of being a virtual boss and committing all these crimes ? When Margaret slit her throat did she die for real? Why does Franck say he wants to be challenged? What did he expect and why provoke Pugh's character?
And most importantly, since it seems that Pugh's character is being held captive in her own home, why is no one looking for her ?
Anyway, it is still a very enjoyable movie. It is obvious that this idealized 1950s world is a fantasy right from the start and I get why people could be drawn to this simple and beautiful world of the past. Why fragile and selfish little men, easily threatened by women's rights, could long for a different life with different rules. That part makes sense but the rest really does not and it is too bad because, otherwise, I would have given this movie a higher rating.
L'amour est un crime parfait (2013)
Uniquely grotesque
Amalric is the new young Johnny Depp apparently. He is soooooo incredibly hot that every woman he meets falls in love with him. More than that. They all throw themselves at him. He is like a prey and they are all predators. Of course he turns out to be a killer but I am guessing that the viewer is supposed to feel sorry for him.
His character is arrogant, pedantic but he is meant to be charismatic, if not outright goddamn sexy. Everything about the story is ludicrous but I can't tell what's worse : the dialogues? The acting? The storyline? Or the casting?
If you manage to go through the whole movie, it is probably because you have decided to mock everything about it. From the way one of his female students, daughter of a French Tony Soprano, sexually harasses this old man so full of himself you want to punch him in the face. From the woman who pretends to be the stepmother of the young girl who has disappeared when she is actually an undercover cop with a soft spot for killers (because of course she is in love with Amalric and has sex with him multiple times). From the fact that they just had to add an incestuous element to this lame story.
See what I mean? French cinema has a lot more to offer I swear! Why so many famous actors decided to participate in yet another « navet » escapes me completely.
Belles familles (2015)
French modern vaudeville
Hard to believe it was not a movie meant for television... If it weren't for its famous actors, this film would have absolutely nothing to show for itself. Marine Vacht is as beautiful as always and I managed to go through this boring and predictable « navet » because of her. Otherwise, move along, there is nothing to see.
In the end the French guy ends up with the French girl and the gorgeous but scorned Chinese woman falls for the Chinese guy that you get to see less than one minute. I would not go as far as to say the script was racist but it is terribly devoid of any imagination and originality. But all is well and ends well. Justice will prevail and order is restored. A very forgettable story.
L'important c'est d'aimer (1975)
Awful
I don't even know where to begin but I certainly cannot believe this awful movie has such good ratings on IMDb. It makes absolutely no sense when the writing, the acting, the directing and even the music are so dramatically bad.
Forget about realism, romance, erotism or whatever, the woman played by Romy Schneider is hysterical half the time. Her husband is a weirdo who suddenly decides to poison himself in the rest room of some café just after she has told him that she loves him more than anything else. Then we see her at the morgue and who is already standing there, next to the body? No one else but her (wannabe or soon to be) lover who bursts out laughing, saying her husband should have killed himself before meeting her. Then of course she tells him that nothing can ever happen between them after this.
And what do we see next ? An old woman putting on a strap on dildo to rape a young naked girl who has passed out. That does it and the « hero » of the movie decides to stop taking pictures of orgies and disgusting sexual encounters. Old men decide to beat him up ; Nadine, in tears, finds him on the floor, covered in blood and says « je t'aime » repeatedly, the movie thereby ending just as it has begun. Indeed the movie starts when Servais takes pictures of Nadine acting but having trouble with her role : she is asked to tell a dead man she loves him but that makes her cry. Funny thing: in this opening scene she tells the director that she cannot do it because the movie is too bad.
That is spot on. The movie in which Nadine pretends to be playing could never be as bad as the one in which Romy really played. I have rarely seen such a « navet ». It beggars belief that Romy Schneider got a César for this terrible film or that it was released in dvd.
If you want to get a feel of how dumb people were in the 70s go ahead and rent it at your local library but please, do not give it a raving review when everything about it is grotesque and ridiculous.
Les amants (1958)
Shallow and boring
The main character is a bored house wife who does not even enjoy her affair with a Parisian polo player although she spends a lot of time with him, away from her family in the whereabouts of Dijon.
We are supposed to believe that she suddenly falls in love with a perfect stranger whom she barely spent a few hours with, along with her husband, her lover and her girlfriend. He seduces her at the end of an awful dinner with a few verses of poetry.
It merely takes a few minutes and they start professing their love for one another. He tells her that he wants a child from her and that he loves her daughter, that he has never met. And they run off together at dawn, not even bothering to hide their escape.
I get that it was meant to be erotic and romantic at the time but it has not aged well. Very few words are exchanged and the viewer understands that it is not a very stimulating life that she leads. It is probably why poetry works so well with her but it is impossible to imagine that this woman would abandon a priviledged life and her child for a man she has met a few hours ago.
Un bonheur n'arrive jamais seul (2012)
Uninspired
I love rom coms. I am not difficult and I actually like Sophie Marceau and Gad Elmaleh as actors. Yet the storyline is terribly devoid of any originality. The rich but clumsy girl meets the sweet but unattached boy who just won't commit and of course they fall in love and end up together but on the way you have to go through a whole movie where Sophie Marceau keeps stumbling and falling down and where the new couple is constantly being interrupted by something or someone. I guess it was supposed to be funny but it really wasn't. It buys time because nothing really happens and it hard to make a movie with nothing. So the film is full of clichés : the slap she gives him when she finds out he's being unfaithful, the powerful and ruthless ex husband who uses money to get people to do what he wants, the lies she tells him for his own good (as if she could not have told him she loves him and will wait for him to get back to New York in 6 months) etc.
I have rarely been so bored watching a romantic comedy.
Connasse, princesse des coeurs (2015)
A great surprise
I went in not knowing what to expect and I genuinely laughed out loud many times and at some point I couldn't stop laughing. Usually when you read comments such as : « hilarious » or « wildly funny », you end up being disappointed. But this film takes you by surprise because it is scandalously politically incorrect. Therefore you will either find it offensive or incredibly refreshing. I loved it because the main (and only) character was helplessly rude and egotistical to the point where you start wondering how she manages not to get punched in the face. You laugh because it is the only appropriate response to such bad behaviour.
If you liked Borat and Bruno then you will love Camilla!
Two for the Road (1967)
Extraordinarily modern
I loved it. The love story is told from a very original and personal standpoint. It is sweet, funny, romantic and strangely honest. It hasn't aged and I was astonished to see parents raise their daughter the way lots of people do now : thinking rules are bad, that saying no is some kind of terrible violence and so on.
Everything about the movie rang true without being depressing. It actually makes me wonder what would have happened to these characters ten years later, twenty years after having met. I don't think they would have lasted but who knows ?
Anyway, go ahead and watch this movie. It is smart and light.
16 ans (2022)
Why ruin a good story...
With such a terrible ending ? I'm all for a bit of drama but this was too much.
There is a lot of tension throughout the film and the love story, which should be the key element, feels under developed. It is hard to believe the two teenagers are in love. Not much chemistry between them and why make love for the first time in a basement when everybody knows it's where girls get raped in bad neighborhoods? Why miss the opportunity for sensuality? Everything happens too fast and everybody seems to lose their heads at every turn. The boy's father loses his job, the girl's brother gets fired over nothing, the girl's friend betrays her. It all escalates and you are left with nothing much since the film's love scenes must have lasted 5 minutes.
Tess (1979)
Incredible beauty
It is hard to find fault with a movie when you know it is an adaptation of a novel but I cannot help myself : why didn't Tess seek help with her husband's family while he was gone ? Why didn't they ask for her when they knew their son had gone away to Brazil? Angel had specifically told Tess he wanted to keep up appearances so it made no sense why she began to work in such dreadful conditions that she had to ask for her rapist's help!
And in the end, when Angel finally steps up and comes for her, why does Tess kill Alec ? She just had to leave him and go with her husband and everything would have been fine!
I don't mind drama but there was no need for the story to end with her hanging when she was the one who had been « sinned against » as Angel rightly put it.
However Nastassja Kinski is so incredibly beautiful in this movie that the viewer just has to keep watching. The pace of the film is too slow and the story unnecessarily sad but the casting of Tess really makes it worthwhile.
Le passé (2013)
A story about broken people
I was quite taken with this movie because it turns out to be a mystery when nothing about the beginning of the story makes you suspect that it will be.
The film changes course as life does sometimes. It seems realistic enough and nothing is as it seems. The ending is unclear and I found it to be frustrating even though I understand that it also fits with the storyline.
It could go both ways. There is no defined path for anyone to follow, except for Ahmad who will go back to where he came and comes from.
For everybody else, it remains a choice yet to be made.
I liked this ambiguity and the fact that none of them are either just good or bad. Their parenting and communication skills could definitely be improved but the viewer feels sorry for all of them, especially for the three children who remain in the care of broken people who have no clue what they want or what they should do.
If you want to watch a surprisingly original drama, this is the film to pick.
The Neon Demon (2016)
B movie
It could have been great but for some reason the director decided to ruin his own story. Many scenes were visually stunning and the original idea was sound : a young beautiful girl hoping to make it as a model in Hollywood rubs other girls the wrong way.
The gross obsession with beauty is well depicted and at first Fanning's character is likable for she seems sweet and innocent. Until she becomes incredibly cocky. Her confidence in her own good looks leads to her downfall because she forgets that she has absolutely no one to care for her. For all her beauty she still is nobody.
But instead of developing her character and the other models' around her, the director focuses on the gore element which makes the film seem ridiculous.
Sometimes there is a fine line between artistic or original and boring or plain dumb. The director has unfortunately crossed it many times over with this movie even though the casting and the acting were good.
Forbrydelser (2004)
Over the top
Why bother with realism and decide to end the movie in such a stupid and improbable way?
Who could believe a Pastor, who thought she could never conceive but miraculously gets pregnant, will seriously contemplate abortion just because there is a 5% chance the baby might be disabled?
And who could believe that same Pastor would get drunk and ask an inmate (who is rumoured to have magical powers but who left her own baby die of thirst) for help before finally deciding to yell what she got convicted for in total violation of her work ethics?
And who could believe that the inmate, suddenly shunned from everyone else when learning what she got convicted for, would immediately kill herself while the Pastor would go on having an abortion ?
All on the same day of course... and I won't even mention the storyline where a guard mysteriously falls in love with that same inmate, despite knowing what she is in for, and breaks all the rules without even taking the slightest precautions to make sure no one finds out about them. Until of course people do find out and he decides to break up the relationship on the very same day that the stupid Pastor divulges the inmate's shameful secret which makes her lose all her « friends ».
I mean : melodramatic much?!
I really liked the idea of a female Pastor confronted with an extralucid inmate but the idea was ruined for me by a badly written script from a writer who just wanted to have the most depressing ending instead of keeping up with realism.
Don't bother watching. It has no redeemable quality.
Omar (2013)
Riveting but inconsistent
I have read many reviews before writing my own because I wanted to make sure I had not missed part of the plot.
The film is intense and Omar is immensely likable and brave. The ending catches the viewer off guard but actually does not seem over the top or implausible. It is obviously a « pro-palestinian » movie but expecting any different would make no sense given the story line.
The real problem for me is this : the Isrealis are led to believe that Tarek is the soldier's killer when Amjad is the one who pulled the trigger. Now who would have had good reason to lie besides Amjad? For some reason his friends don't suspect him. But what really gets me is that Amjad would have had no reason to implicate Tarek instead of Omar. He wants to marry Tarek's sister who is in love with Omar. So why in the world would he have protected Omar? And since he was never caught and tortured by the Israelis why would he have turned on his friends in the first place ?
Also, why would he have told the Israelis that Nadia was pregnant with his child? How did that serve his interest with the police ? I understand that it was the smart thing to say to Omar when he was found out as the true mole, but he had already told the lie to the Israelis who allude to it when trying to break Omar's will.
These inconsistencies weaken the plot. Amjad is a despicable traitor but gets to live and « get the girl » when he is almost solely responsible for everything that got wrong in her life. The viewer is led to assume that she is told the truth in a letter Omar wrote to her before he kills the Isreali policeman but what good does that do to her ? She is left with a husband that she will forever hate whereas the two men she loved are dead.
I suppose Omar tells her that he will kill the man who broke their lives apart by turning Amjad against all of them. It is all about revenge now that everything is lost. Omar hates himself for not trusting Nadia and believing his friend's word when he already knew he had betrayed them and it makes sense that he would want to punish the Isreali officer who brought out the worst in all of them.
Again, all of this feels possible, except for the fact that Amjad was never put in a position where betrayal and crazy lies about Nadia's pregnancy would have felt like the only option.
A sombre tale of love, hate, loyalty and distrust that would have been better if the screen writer had found a way to fill this huge plot hole !
Oh Boy (2012)
Surprisingly funny
I did not expect to laugh. Germans aren't famousd for their sense of humour but I could not help laughing out loud a few times. Some scenes were so cringy it turned out to be the only appropriate response.
Nothing really happens during the movie : the main protagonist just goes on to live his meaningless life and interacts with a few broken people. Yet the sountrack, the script and the acting make for a fun and light drama if such a thing is possible.
So much better than « Oslo 31 août » even though both movies could be summed up in the same way: 24 hours in the life of a priviledged young man who wanders in a capital city, and whose existence got sidetracked a few years ago.
Despite these similarities, and despite the fact that the Norwegian version is melodramatic, the German one turns out to be more realistic and even more profound. Niko is more relatable and likable while Anders wallows in self-pity and selfishness.
Oslo, 31. august (2011)
Very disappointing
Best film of 2011 according to Télérama. Must have been a very bad year movie-wise then.
I picked it at my local library thanks to this false advertisement and the picture on the dvd case which, again, leads to false assumptions.
All you see is this 34 year old guy who tries to commit suicide twice, at the beginning and at the end of the film. The viewer does not know for sure if he succeeds at the end but he probably does.
Anyway, the reason why he got addicted at 28 years old is unclear. He had a good job, a loving family, a devoted girlfriend and a large circle of friends. 6 years later, getting out of rehab, he does not seem to be a very nice guy based on certain clues throughout the movie.
It is never said that he suffers from depression so the reason why he wants to die so badly is completely lost on me. Are we supposed to feel sorry for him? Is it a beautiful story because he wants to die and you are led to believe that life is a pointless mess anyway?
I expected a different movie and a lot more from it too.
Paterson (2016)
Boooooring
So I get it: it is supposed to be poetic but it's only very slow and meaningless. The main character wants to be a poet but he really is just a bus driver, living in a small town and sharing a small house with a sweet and gentle soul who also happens to be dillusional or just plain dumb, depending if you want to be charitable or not. Farahani is actually great at playing the adoring girlfriend who believes Paterson is the next great American poet, if only he would agree to let others read his poems - and she the next great country singer, if only she knew how to play the guitar. But hey wait, she is living the dream : she is the « « cupcake queen of Paterson » as her boyfriend called her before finding his « secret notebook » torn apart by the dog she loves and he hates.
That is the story.
Ah I forgot : he meets a 10 year old girl who writes much, much better poems than he does.
Anyway, it was a bit pretentious but the actors make it work because they are who they are.