VBeretta Reviews

House of Cards: Chapter 66 (2018) Season 6, Episode 1

Incomprehensible

[4/10 · 14 February 2024]

The title of my review refers both to the plotline of Season Six and to the decision to produce it in the first place. Considering the talent involved both in front and behind the camera, "incomprehensible" also stands for "how they did manage to create such a mess"?

Regarding the plotline(s) I'll say flat out that I can't really comment on them because I literally didn't understand what was happening. Who were these new people? Why this "Future Act" was important? Why some hated it? Where are we? (and with this I literally mean: "Where this scene is taking place??")

I understand that the writers had to scramble after Kevin Spacey left the show. I also heard, however, that they took some time to fix the situation. Let's say that they didn't. This sixth season resembles a bunch of scenes shot and edited together without continuity between them. I had the constant feeling that, somehow, I had missed an episode, because too many things that were given for granted actually weren't.

House of Cards should have ended with Season Five (which already showed signs of decline). I understand why they couldn't do this: too many plot lines left stranding. The way they solved the problem, however, reeks of desperation. A sad end to a sad story.

Squid Game: The Challenge (2023– )

Nothing here that made the original so great

[5/10 · 5 December 2023]

Doing a reality show based on Squid Game could be a good idea, if planned and executed well. Here, neither of these things is found.

What made the original Squid Game (of which this series is NOT the sequel) was first and foremost the characters. The games where brutal, but you felt the pain because you were attached to these people (even the obvious criminals/bad guys). You also spent eough time with them to - you know - recognise them among the crowd. The best you get here are "personal interviews" with a summatory of the banality of human experience, from greed, to self-esteem, to the lack of self-esteem, to sob stories. I usually forgot who said what after five minutes.

"The Challenge" has a format of one of those horrifying "constentant" TV shows, where the only aim is to win the Big Prize. No one, here, is killed for real. When you are eliminated you are hit by a paintball (or simply sent to the door) and that's it. This makes the "emotional" outbursts that follow these events feel forced and unrealistic. Knowing that someone will be killed because you won a game (and in the original sometimes it was you who killed them) is brutal. Having someone cry to the point of seizure because another contestant didn't win money... Hmmm...

I admit that I watched the first episode full of curiosity, asking myself where the "twist" was. People were dropping like flies left and right and yet no one panicked! At the end I understood that there was no twist: what I saw was what this show is about.

"The Challenge" has one thing going for it, at least for me: I was genuinely curious about both the twists and the surprises awaiting the group of players. And yet the plot remains unfocused: too many characters with no time to devote to them. You literally don't understand some of the "strategic planning" behind the character's choices because, often, you have no clue about the overall situation of the group. It is also paifully clear that some situations are stretched too long due to the need to add filler time.

I admit that I finished this spin-off without being bored. For this, it gets 5/10 stars. I understand that the creator of the original is working on the real sequel. If "The Challenge" gives him more time to do a good job, this would be the best thing I can say about it.

Talk to Me (I) (2022)

An surprisingly good movie with the flaw of a very conventional story

[7/10 · 22 October 2023]

In many ways, "Talk to Me" can be compared with Ari Aster's "Hereditary". Both movies, beside being excellent debuts for their directors, are actually more a drama than an horror. The horrific elements are there, but more to strengthen the underlying psychological suffering that some characters are undergoing.

The plot is simple: a group of high-school friends comes into possession of a "cursed" ceramic hand. If you grip it you see the spirit of a dead person, to whom you can talk. If you want to go further, this spirit possesses you until someone breaks the grip between you and the hand. This becomes a fun party activity, with people enjoying the thrill to "be possessed" - and of course things go south fast.

A case can be made for these horrific elements to actually be only hallucinatory. I think that there are enough hints in the movie that point for most of them to be real; however, about some of the "supernatural" events that follow some of the characters we just don't know - as the experience with the "hand" can cause serious problems to minds already the verge of a breakdown. Deciding if some horrific moments are real or just hallucinations id part of the fun of the movie.

In the hands of lesser directors this could have become an also-ran movie in the "Ouija board" genre. Instead, it is the story of some people living through difficult periods of their lives, with recent dramatic events still lacking closure. The "hand" does seem to feed on this suffering until the situation goes out of control. In this, the plot reminds a lot of a Stephen King story. Be prepared for 90% drama and 10% of (genuine) horror.

I liked how we are thrown into the story "in media res". We don't know these people, their relationships, how they got the hand and what torments them from their past. It is like meeting a group of friends for the first time, and it is upon us to piece together who they are and what's happening.

The acting is strong all around and a big kudos goe to the young actors, The only disappointment is Miranda Otto, as her acting talents are wasted in the only banal character in the movie (it is always nice to see her, toh).

At the end, the only weak point of this really strong debut is the plot: it is very conventional. Any horror aficionado will easily see how thing are going to develop and predict the end. The ending, to be clear, works, but I saw it coming halfway through the movie.

All in all, a surprisingly good movie. I can't wait for the director's next effort - hoping that this time they will choose a stronger story to tell.

The Fall of the House of Usher (2023)

The criticism misses the mark

[9/10 · 17 October 2023]

I honestly don't understand many of the criticism seen on the IMDB. Mike Flanagan's latest work belongs to a precise narrative genre: "Pastiche". You see it when Sherlock Holmes meets Call of Cthulhu, or when Blade Runner joins cyberpunk with classic film noir.

Here, Mike Flanagan uses Poe's short stories and poems (the author wrote only a single novella) to weave a contemporary tale. The result is a miniseries whose contents are not only relevant for today's world but, we can see, timeless. What Flanagan does is to show how Poe's work captured something that touches everybody - and then used this universal quality to weave his own tale.

A good example is the second episode, titled "The Masque of the Red Death". Since the series is centered on a biomedical multinatiional that rivals Umbrella Corporation, and the original tale is about a plague, it would have been easy to have the "runaway deadly virus". Nothing of this happens. Only at the end you realise how Flanagan's own plot and Poe's short story converge (in a scene for the ages). This is the gist of "The Fall of the House of Usher".

If you know Poe, then watching the events evolves becomes like a game. "What the heck is doing Pink Floyd's 'The Wall' in the soundtr... Oh! Of course!" If you never read Poe, the be prepeared for a rollercoaster rid of plot twists which reach the very end.

Ironically, my only complaint is also one of Flanagan's biggest accomplishments: he weaved everything he could find about Poe in a coherent and original tale, with only a few forced passages (but it could be argued that matbe the family is cursed. Why a complaint? Because sometimes it just seems a stylistic exercise with no real "meat" storywise (and Poe's readers will just know how some things are going to end).

The acting is very good all around, with many of Flanagan's regulars appearing, as usual, in very different roles from the last time we saw them in one of his works. Bruce Greenwood is exceptional (let's give him a prize sometimes, shall we?) in the main role of an unethical billionarie father who just buried his six sons and daughters (this is not a spoiler: it is the premise), knows that his hour is near and just wants to confess. Yes, but confess what?

Let's say enough things to fill a modern gothic horror tale to the brim for eight very fulfilling hours.

The Big Bang Theory: The Imitation Perturbation (2018) Season 12, Episode 6

Amy just killed as Bernadette

[8/10 · 4 August 2023]

I always thought that Mayim Bialik's talents were never truly used in her run on TBBT. She often showed how she could have been able to do much more with a character saddled with the "plain & boring" stereotype. Here we saw an example of peak Mayim.

So, Howard dresses as Sheldon for Halloween. In retailation, Sheldon and Amy dress as Howard and Bernadette. Of all the imitations, Amy as Bernadette is a whole level over the rest. The way she nails the character is scary - helium-boosted voice included. It is also clear that Mayim is having the fun of her life (Simon Helberg as Sheldon too, but, IMHO, his was more a parody; Mayim just became Bernadette).

What I didn't like in this episode is how deadly serious were the reactions by everyone. It was a callback to one of the earliest episodes, when Penny explains in strong words to Howard what a failure of a man he is. TBBT is not about this. Characters already get angry, make gaffes, end up humiliated (big time), only to recover and forge on. That should be enough. Here we are assisting to something that could lead to a real break up in friendships. I don't watch this show for this.

Yet, this leads to the conversation between Sheldon and Bernadette, the first really intimate one between them. When Bernadette says that Sheldon can't know what means to be the smallest person in the room Sheldon, quite correctly, points out how he knows, because he went to high-school when he still was a kid. The whole scene is a nice one and the saving grace of the episode.

(BTW, if Howard dresses as Sheldon, he and Bernadette have no right to complain if Sheldon and Amy do the same thing to them; just my 2 cents).

The Big Bang Theory: The Bow Tie Asymmetry (2018) Season 11, Episode 24

Fireworks

[9/10 · 1 August 2023]

The worst drag in a season that dragged were the "preparations" for Sheldon and Amy's marriage. For this reason, I wasn't looking forward to this episode.

Now I think that the season dragged because they saved all the best for last.

Everything happens, and more. Kathy Bates and Teller show up as Amy's parents, with both giving an indeleble impression of their characters. However, even if it is normal for famour actors/celebrities to appear in the show, the way they introduced Mark Hamill was a bolt from the blue. A moment of genius in scripwriting.

The best thing of this episode is that it was a sort of happening, with all the recurring characters showing up along with a storm of celebrities (even Hamill's daughter has a cameo). Everybody had his moment to shine within a storyline that covered from Amy's and Sheldon decisive breakthrough in their research - while everybody else was waiting them for the cerimony! - to Penny scolding unsuffereable parents in a way that closed even my mouth.

And then there was the marriage itself, which was honestly moving. I really liked how they showed that, yes, Sheldon can feel love, without betraying his character.

I agree that we should have seen Sheldon's mee-maw and Leonard's mother - but, honestly, the episode should have lasted 15 minutes more. As it is, it is already packed to the brim.

A great season finale and one of the most memorable episodes of the series. It doesn't beat the "Scavenger Hunt" one (what does?) but IMHO it is up there with the best.

The Big Bang Theory: The Holiday Summation (2017) Season 10, Episode 12

Well, I laughed

[8/10 · 24 July 2023]

The band of friends spent the Christian holidays in three different places. We are told what happened in flashbacks after they gather together and talk about the respective, dire, experiences.

I guess I'll play the Devil's Advocate here, as I found this episode genuinely funny. Of each story we are told the key events, so no one drags. And, of course, between what is told and what actually happened there is always something "off". Only when the flashback is shown we see what the characters really mean.

I won't spoil, but I laughed hard at "Blah blah blah, blah blah' "Blah blah blah blah!", "Leonard, there is something in the windshield", and Howard confessing that after the baby arrived he has problems sleeping due to the constant crying (it is not what you think).

I felt that this episode was a call back to the old times of chaos, double entendres and confusion. I was surprised that "three Christmas from Hell" is so despised. To me, it is not a classic, but still a cut above the average for the tenth season.

Black Mirror: Demon 79 (2023) Season 6, Episode 5

Just call Guillermo del Toro

[4/10 · 19 July 2023]

1979. A young, timid girl, with a lot of repressed anger, stumbles into a demon - a real one. This demon tells her that either she kills three people over the next three days or the World will be destroyed by a nuclear holocaust and everyone will die.

And that's it. This is the plot. If you hope for some Black Mirror, you will not find it here. The only screen is a TV from the '70s which shows "Tops of the Pops". If anything, this episode belongs to Guillermo del Toro's "Cabinet of Curiosities". What is it doing here?

After the usual, meandering beginning, the demon arrives - and with him the usual plot holes that plague this season. Even worse, you only need five minutes to realize how the plot plagiarizes Stephen King's "The Dead Zone" (well, this if you have read the book or seen the movie adaptation...) At a crucial moment the demon, who showed how he can predict the consequences of some actions, says "This won't work". The girl knows that the demon has this power (and never lies), acts anyway and, lo!, it doesn't work. Uh?

A politician will bring a nuclear holocaust if elected, so... let's kill him! "No, because 'they' like him and what he will do." What? Isn't the whole point of this exercise to AVOID nuclear holocaust? Do these demons even know what they actually want?

The ending makes no sense. Think back, and it is easy to see how it simply can't happen - not that way.

Some situations are really tense and I always like when they show how, realistically, killing a man is not an easy task - psychologically but also physically. That's what of positive I can say about this episode. I don't even have a clue as why it is set in 1979. Maybe to portray the demon as the lost black member of the ABBA.

The Big Bang Theory: The Fermentation Bifurcation (2016) Season 9, Episode 22

The show missed an opportunity with Zach

[8/10 · 19 July 2023]

It is easy to see how Zach, Penny's ex, grew in the minds of the writers over time. From a stock character we see, in a key episode, how he is not a genius but not stupid, got him as Superman in the Justice League group, and here he teaches a thing or two to the eggheads - not to mention a very funny lesson for Raj. Zach could have been the male equivalent of Penny: a down to earth character who knows how to get along, have fun and even give surprising wisdom. He immediately nails the basic implications of a very complex project, pointing out a moral dilemma that went over the heads of the "geniuses". His final "Wow. Maybe none of you guys are smart" is one of the funniest lines of the whole season. Zach deserved the role of a semi-regular and the show missed an opportunity in not developing him more.

Black Mirror: Loch Henry (2023) Season 6, Episode 2

"True Crime" and bad at it

[4/10 · 17 July 2023]

As others have already noticed, this is not Black Mirror. Even worse, it is a badly written story no matter the genre.

A young couple of documentarians visits the home village of the man. In the past it thrived on tourism but, after the work of a serial killer was discovered years ago, people decided to avoid the area. The two documentarians decide to do a documentary about these events.

It takes 20 minutes for the plot to reach this point.

The only good thing in this episode is that you get glimpses of how this kind of documentaries are done - a sort of "making of" - and that's it. The story hides a twist so predictable that I hoped it was a red herring. No. The obvious twist is the real one. No surprises here.

More? Plot holes galore. The team "discovers" things about this serial killer that even the police of a small village would have discovered using normal forensic methods. BTW, at no point the "documentarians" talk to the police or ask to see their archives - which should be the first thing to do.

A character has no problems in having an incriminating proof just lying around for anyone to see.

Another character was wounded in the shoulder by a gunshot while fleeing from the serial killer. It turn out that the wound was self-inflicted. Well, first, imagine firing your gun against the back of your shoulder; being a contortionist would help. Second, self-inflicted gun wounds are VERY obvious: the cloth around it is charred; the wound itself would present signs of burns - not to mention the seriousness of firing a bullet point-blank against your body. These are basic concepts.

And then there is the big question: what is this story about? That beyond the "True Crime" documentaries we enjoy there is suffering and exploitation? Big discovery!

I can't even judge the actors. They are stereotypes who are given nothing to do. It is painfully clear how in some scenes they border improv - because no character has a real focus. They trot out John Hanna for a part that requires no talent. Remember how memorable Hanna was in his five minutes in "The Last of Us"? Here they give i'm a character who... literally does nothing. What's the point?

This second episode of the sixth season of Black Mirror is not Black Mirror, it is a bad True Crime story, and has absolutely nothing to say. I liked the parts where they show how a documentary is done.

Black Mirror: Joan Is Awful (2023) Season 6, Episode 1

Fun but empty

[5/10 · 15 July 2023]

I have nothing against humor and fun situations in Black Mirror. Episodes like "Nosedive" and "USS Callister" elicited a lot of laughs. It is clear that, here, that Annie Murphy and Salma Hayek have a lot of fun parodying themselves, and I confess that in a couple of moments I laughed hard. Even Netflix was game for a self-parody. The problem is that the episode is a mess.

The worst part are the plot holes. I won't spoil them, but let's say that A LOT of what happens in the story would be incredibly illegal even in "Black Mirror"'s dystopian futures. Having a lawyer who says "No, this is legal" is a lame band-aid. The version of Netflix we see ("Streamberry") would stop at once... let's say what they are doing. Even the characters reacts to the events in ways that make no sense. Episodes like "Nosedive" are scary because, in their own way, are realistic. Here, I wasn't immersed in the story for even a moment, because nothing makes sense. The main character has an astoundingly simple way to solve her problem. This way was never considered.

Then we have the "revelation", i.e. "Yo! We saw Inception!". Once again, Inception was deeply logical given the premises of that world. Here, my reaction was "OK... So what?"

I tried not to spoil, but this may be the worst episode of Black Mirror to date. A discombobulated series of events that leads nowhere. I still upped my vote to 5/10 because, in all fairness, Annie Murphy and Salma Hayek salvaged some scenes with the kind of humor that, however, should belong to "The Big Bang Theory". They deserved much more from the script. Pity.

The Big Bang Theory: The 43 Peculiarity (2012) Season 6, Episode 8

Lost

[8/10 · 9 July 2023]

Since a couple of months Sheldon disappears for twenty minutes every day. Not even his assistant Alex knows where he goes, only that those twenty minutes must be kept free on his agenda. Nosy as usual, Howard and Raj decide to investigate...

What makes this episode so engaging is that it revolves around a real mystery. The more we learn, the more the mystery actually deepens. I found myself squeezing my brain in search for an answer, thinking back to past episodes looking for clues.

I also got the impression that the writers were a bit making of fun of Lost", with all that series mysteries thrown at the wall only to end up with an unsatisfactory solution. This doesn't happen here, with an ending both totally out there and pure TBBT. I really laughed hard.

The episode has also a sub-plot about Leonard being jealous of a schoolmate of Penny - a story that leads nowhere and that seems to exist only because they needed a B-plot. The rest is memorable.

Black Mirror: White Bear (2013) Season 2, Episode 2

The constant screaming and whimpering are the very point of this episode

[8/10 · 11 May 2023]

My most rewatched episode of Black Mirror is - no surprises here - San Junipero. White Bear, however, is possibly the second one.

The plot is known: a woman wakes up without memory in a post-apocalyptic world. We are told that "a signal" turned a majority of the population into "constant watchers": people who compulsively record what's going on with their phones. And there is a lot of juicy stuff going on, as some became killers who hunt down the few sane individuals left. The result is akin to a zombie story - except that here the "hordes of zombies" just point their phones at you.

The above is not a spoiler but the set up.

Then, of course, there is the big reveal. When you watch Black Mirror you always expect - or, more appropriately, dread - sone nasty surprise. White Bear, however, pulles the biggest rug ever under the feet of the watcher. And it is not simply a "reveal": the story frolics in it, down to the end titles, in a horrific final stretch where you don't know if to laugh or be chilled. BTW, when was the last time where all the clues scattered in the story are openly shown and explained?

I don't understand those who diss this episode because the main character constantly cries and whimpers. First, try to wake up in a post-apocalyptic world where people with various weapons unrelentingly chase you. Second... do those bothered by the constant display of suffering even watched how the story ends?

Sadly, one can't discuss this episode without spoilering it. However, the real world already catched up: watch anything dire happen in a public space and a crowd of "zombies" will rush in armed with their phones. Just watch any video of the climate protesters who threw tomato soup on a Van Gogh painting, and you will see the crowd of zombies with phones and cameras who immediately arrived to film the scene - even before the museum security.

White Bear tells us that "Black Mirror" is, now, almost in the rear view - and that's makes me want to whimper and cry.

The Last of Us: Long, Long Time (2023) Season 1, Episode 3

It is complicated

[8/10 · 31 January 2023]

Episode 3 of The Last of Us takes a side story and puts it front and center. I'll say upfront that I have no problems with the nature of the story, a beautiful gay romance. If anything, I liked a lot how it was "unpolitical": Bill and Frank are free to live their story unbothered by bigotry and "social norms". It is a happy story at first and sad at last for reason totally inherent to its characters and the possibility for them to live it in a sort of bubble. Their experiences talk to everybody. Finally, there is some great writing and acting on display here.

And yet there are also some objective problems totally unrelated to the nature of Billy and Frank's story. The first is that Joel and Ellie's one had finally started at the end of episode 2, only to be stopped cold by this detour. True, the episode begins with the kind of snappy back-and-fort that we can expect from them going forward but I felt that we needed at least a full hour to establish their relationship before looking at other characters. Second, while Billy and Frank's story makes for 40 minutes of great television, it is not the best gay romance out there. It's merit lies in how much we understand given a limited time, but "Brokeback Mountain" in theatre and "Six Feet Under" on television gave us much more. Here we have a fine vignette, and I'm happy that it exists, but maybe it needed to be his own thing. The world of "The Last of Us" is big enough for an "anthology series" devoted to other characters (here is an idea for the producers!), living aside of Joel and Ellie's story. Another solution could have been to offer both the main story and this one as a special "double feature" in the same night.

And then, in a bit of paradox, I felt that Billy and Frank's story is stronger than Joel and Tess' one - with the latter being more important for Joel's development. I felt that, even with two full episodes with Tess in it (and a cameo here) their relationship has been strangely opaque and unexplored. Are we supposed to better understand it by using Bill and Frank as a reflection? Again, I feel that we should have spent more time with the main characters before looking elsewhere with such depth.

I feel that, one day, this will be the episode that will be skipped in rewatches of the series, and seen as a beautiful stand alone in TLoU world. I'm happy that it was made, but to wait 15 days right after the main story started is, right now, too much.

Quarantine (2008)

Not bad but watch the original.

[5/10 · 29 November 2022]

"Quarantine" is the unavoidable American remake of the Spanish chiller REC and... let's stop for a moment, shall we?

Why "remakes" are so pernicious in American culture? Why to remake REC at all? Not only the original was just perfect but it was shot with a specific technique: the actors in many scenes simply didn't know what was about to happen. The tension was palpable because it was the real tension felt by actors trapped in a very scary carnival house. You simply can't replicate this in a remake.

That this remake is actually quite respectful makes things even more baffling. "Quarantine" redoes the original almost scene by scene. Why? "The Ring" had his strength exactly in how the themes Japanese "Ringu" were expanded with a lot of effort and intelligence (and you can watch both and have two different experiences). I'm not against remakes as a principle (I'm a lot against remakes that just rape the original - I'm looking at you "The Uninvited" and "Shutter"). Here you have just a faded copy. Again, why? American audiences are terrified by anything that happens outside their borders? Fine: this is a scary movie: it should be even more effective, shouldn't it?

I like Jennifer Carpenter. I liked her in "Emily Rose" and "Dexter". Use her talents in an original story.

Quarantine would get a decent 7 out of 10 vs. The 8 out of 10 of the original - i.e. Watch the 8 rated one - except that they put a key surprise on every poster, DVD cover, kiddie meal... The result is that even looking at the IMDB page for this movie ruins the chilling key twist of original. It is indefensible.

Eighth Grade (2018)

Life itself

[8/10 · 24 July 2022]

Formally, I couldn't be farther from the events depicted in this movie. I don't live in the US; I grew up in a world without smartphones; and in Eighth Grade I was a bully. Yes, I was the kind of bully you hate when he is depicted in a movie. I saw "weaker kids"'s insecurities and took advantage of them to prove my "superiority". Then in high-school I totally changed. To this day I am ashamed of some of the things I did at 14. I'll always be.

"Eighth Grade" is about a very complex 14 years old girl in contemporary America. The first scene, perfectly written and acted, shows her recording a video about "complex life problems". OK, so this is the "she is too much mature for her age" trope... But, no, the video is catastrophic. The quality is abmisal. You can see the struggle to say something "important", some fragments of concepts are there... the whole is sheer cringe. You immediately understand both her and her world.

Nothing is simple, and the movie portrays this by subverting expectations and being contradictory over and over. The School Band performs the National Anthem in the most painful way ever... but she actually performs well with the dishes. Yet, she doesn't seem to realise that, yes, she is good at some things. She records another painful video about the importance of going out - and then she decides to follow her own advice with predictable dire results. And yet in that video she grasps a most insightful idea: "By going out other people will know the movie you, the party you, the week-end you... all the yous that make up your real you". I mean... wow.

She wants to be liked, she struggles with boys... but when a boy shows interest in her she panics. The same boy, who is quite understanding, gives her some wise advice - with the sensibility of an elephant entering a glassware shop. After faking (badly) her sexual awareness, she assures another kid that she is quite good at performing a certain sexual act. She isn't (and, sorry but those who find these scenes "creepy" never reached 14 years old).

In one of the funniest and most subtle sequences of the movie she searches this sexual act on Youtube. The result is an amazing number of videos by young girls and porn stars. Smartly, she refines the search by adding "good" (as in "a good way to") and gets a video by a professional pedagogist. We become even more painfully aware that she isn't ready for it. Undaunted, she tries to exercise with a banana - a fruit she hates - only to be caught by her father, who knows that she hates bananas. She tries to explain that, no, she loves bananas, tries to eat it and almost throws up. End of the story? No. Still undaunted, she forges on by googling for "objects shaped like bananas". We understand how, by then, she is actually totally adrift.

Subtlety is one of the things I loved in this movie. It rewards paying attention. Consider the scene I described: does the father realises the meaning of the banana? Apparently not, but later he checks on her before going to bed and, for apparently no reason at all, she reassures him that he doesn't need to worry, she is doing great. Why?

There is a key scene, later in the movie, between her and her father, an opening up of sort of great importance. In that scene we understand that the mother "went away" leaving the father alone to raise their daughter. Again, pay attention. Through the movie the father mocks her. This sound cruel, until you realise that she is never offended. Maybe dismissive, but of the message contained in that mock, not how it is conveyed. There is a deep understanding between the two, to the point that they developed their own language. Which brings me to what I feel being the key point of the movie.

True, this is a movie about growing up in the age of smartphones and social media. The age gap between kids and adults has never been wider. The teachers are clueless. Even her own father admits this. However, the father does seem to realise that some things never change, that some problems will always be there. He hovers at the margins of his daughter and in the only scene where he intrudes he openly says that it was a mistake and how sorry he is. He doesn't try to understand the era of social media, only to be there for timeless problems.

Today's kids seek answers to their sexual curiosities on Google or Youtube, I, of all things, tracked down a book that my parents bought when they married. Girls interested me but when a girl showed interest in me I panicked and treated her badly. When I went to my first party alone, I almost ran away. When my father, very gently, told me that he was always there "for any questions about my age" I was shocked and offended by his intrusion in my (confused) life. Generally speaking, I saw a lot of my Eighth Grade in this movie (the only chilling scene being the total normality of an exercise "should a shooter come to this school"). At the end, she is happy. She grew up. How? Again, there is no explanation. Maybe the answer is simple: she just tried to live in the real world.

In the Earth (2021)

We are not ready to return to Nature

[7/10 · 8 March 2022]

While the globe is gripped by an unspecified global pandemic (the movie was shot during the COVID-19 pandemic with a skeleton crew but it is not about a virus at all) a scientist, Martin, is led by a sympathetic ranger, Alma, in search for a botanist colleague he once worked with. The two try to find their way amid some incredibly beautiful but absolutely desolate woods. A legend surrounds the place: the existence of a woodland spirit named Parnag Fegg, whose nature is subject to debate. It should be a two day trip to the outdoor scientific center but soon... dark things start to happen.

And right there you understand how "In the Earth" takes inspiration from a wide range of recent and old classic movies. "The Blair Witch Project" and its maddening uncertainty about the nature of its Witch is the first that comes to mind of course; but "In the Earth" calls out to movies about modern people bungling into lands drenched in ancient pagan beliefs (from "The Wicker Man" to "Midsommar"); areas of our Earth where the natural laws seem to be distorted ("The Colour out of Space" and "Annihilation"); and even homages to Stanley Kubrick, with a scene unashamedly robbed from "The Shining" and even a couple of moments that, it could be debated, come from "2001: A Space Odyssey".

Yet, "In the Earth" manages to tell his own story. I disagree with those who found it boring or lacking consistency. It is their prerogative, of course, but I felt involved from the first to the last minute both in the story and in the slow disintegration of the rational mind. The movie, actually, states its central theme quite clearly: the ancient people intuitively felt the rhythms and the concept of Mother Nature as a living being, but they lacked the scientific knowledge to really understand it. From there the attempt to explain it via analogies: alchemy, magic, druidic rites and the like. Conversely, modern science can but, by now, we are too detached from the true natural world to apply modern methods to something forgotten or relegated to myth. But what if something does?

Without spoiling too much, "In the Earth" argues that, yes, it can be done: we can use modern knowledges to rediscover the natural breathing and even a language of sorts. But once we try to "communion" again with Mother Nature, via trippy means, the result is The Mother Of All Panic Attacks. We are no more ready for it, while the result of more extreme methods is left unanswered. This movie can be seen as a variation of that parable where a civilised man decided to "return to nature", traveled naked to Africa and was eaten by the first stray lion.

"In the Earth" thus reaches its fragmented conclusion with eyes wide open, leaving the future to the viewer's opinion. Will we attempt again when we are more ready? Are the glimpses of "something else" (here seen through the veil of panic, fear and confusion) worth it? The movie reaches a boundary of sort but, like its characters, does seem to fear to step beyond. Also, some of the "trippy methods" involve stroboscopic lights that, simply, have no reason to be used. They work as a cop out of sort with the only danger of causing a real seizure in the public (THIS IS NOT A MOVIE FOR PHOTOSENSITIVE PEOPLE).

At the end, the idea that scientific knowledge can be buried in esoteric text is cool even if not invented here (when Alchemists were poisoned by dangerous fumes they wrote in detail about "a procedure that freed demons: the description and the warning were correct, the expression was the best available analogy). The score by Clint Mansell and the cinematography by Nick Gillespie are both hauntingly beautiful. Kudos to the moviemakers and the actors who were able to pull off a small gem with the skeleton crew during the COVID-19 pandemic. Pity for a script that results to be a bit derivative of more accomplished movies and is unable to really explore in-depth its killer central idea.

No Time to Die (2021)

Craig's farewell is a confusing, scattered mess

[6/10 · 16 October 2021]

This Bond opens with a bang. Both the initial sequence in Norway and the first big set piece in Italy are everything a Bond movie should be. I looked forward to a solid entry in the series. There was a hint of "Bond's Greatest Hits" both in the classic Aston Martin's gadgets and in the score by Hans Zimmer.

Then the movie loses its way. It is still a collection of classic Bond moments, but like if written on scraps of paper by different people who, then tried to somehow put them together; and some of them aren't even Bond.

Rami Malek's talents are wasted for a very generic bad guy whose plan is never completely clear. Actually, all the actors and the actresses in the movie do their best with the surprisingly little they are given to do. The most lucky was possibly Ana de Armas, with a funny and plucky character - inserted in a movie who was supposed to be full of gravitas and wounded souls. The movie movies from scene to scene, all technically well done, but with the characters themselves who say "I'll do this, maybe why will be explained later."

And then there are the parts that make no sense. "M" authorises the creation of a very irresponsible weapon... why? (actually, all "M"'s dialogue is just dreadful) War shots are fired amid a very tense international situation: nobody cares. Blofeld is in a maximum security prison but he can communicate with his henchmen... how? He has no gadgets; such a basic plot point is never explained.

This is a movie without consequences. We have "A" and then we have "B" - but "B" happens because a writer thought it was cool to have "B" happen. There is, simply, no cohesion in the script.

As a farewell, "No Time to Die" works thanks to the efforts of everybody involved - except the screenwriters. Those initial 20-30 minutes in Italy were wonderful, up there with "Casino Royale" and among the Best Bond has to offer. A truly self-contained story. I'll remember Craig by thinking of those.

Malignant (I) (2021)

Sam Raimi meets Dario Argento

[8/10 · 18 September 2021]

Remember when horror movies were stylish, fun and bonkers? James Wan for sure does. This is, essentially, a love letter to classic Sam Raimi with Italian "Giallo" elements sprinkled on the top for further nostalgia (the cinematography literally changes on and off to "Suspiria" according to what it is happening on screen, I'm not joking; the props themselves seem to have been robbed from some Italian movie warehouse).

This is a movie that *appears* to start blandly, with a lot of "already seen" scenes and plot points. Then the twists start to arrive at machinegun speed, and the beauty of it is how they always make sense (in their horrific way). Once the Big One hits this becomes a wall-to-wall splatter movie, but of the kind of splatter so bonkers that you can't help but laugh hard. Of all things, the third act of "Malignant" reminded me of a lost episode of "Rick and Morty".

Talking about homages, horror aficionados will see winks to many other movies and genres. Blink and you will miss a Police Station where the dialogues are out of "Hot Fuzz". "Why I'm calling the police?" is, possibly, the funniest line in the movie (and why the station resembles a dancing club anyway?) John Carpenter, Stuart Gordon and, unavoidably, Wes Craven all make an appearance. Catching all these homages is half of the fun.

If I have to point out a weak element, it would be the acting. Not because the actors are bad but because the characters are uniformly two-dimensional. They themselves are homages to horror cliches, not to real, fleshed out people. A giant kudos, however, goes to the stunt people.

You will notice that I haven't touched the plot. Try to enter it with a blank mind. "Malignant" is one of the most fun, mindfu**ed and rewatchable movies of the last five years. If you love horror, it was made for you.

Cuties (2020)

Good intentions but a wasted opportunity

[4/10 · 20 August 2021]

Let's start by ignoring for a moment the accuses leveled to this movie and consider the director intentions. "Cuties" follows a short span in the life of a 11 years old Senegalian girl who lives in modern, secular France but in a deeply conservative Islamic family. She discovers a group of other 11 years old girls who are training for a Twirling sex dance competition and, for a while, she believes that can escape a bad situation by embracing another bad one.

This is a movie full of potentials. From the impact of social media on today's young lives to the friction between old traditions and an open, tolerant society (the finals of the competition are held on a palc in the middle of a park), a lot of themes could be explored. In all fairness, this movie touches all of them, but it is like if the writer/director lacked the ability to do a serious analysis beyond shallow finger-wagging, resulting in an experience that will tell you nothing new.

It is also, ironically, a very boring movie, with a confusing plot line full of unneeded scenes or, even worse, muddled key moments. Sometimes I felt like someone in a room with other people speaking about things I was clueless about. The main character tooks a picture of her genitals and puts it online. This destroys the relationship she had with the other girls. Bafflingly, she was not angry with them at all but with her brother. Since she used her brother's phone to do it I thought she wanted to land him in hot water, but nothing more comes out from this scene. What was she thinking?

And then there is the objectionable content, and, sadly, it is all there. I have nothing against *the idea* of 11 years old girls performing sexual dances in a movie: after all you need to portray what you are denouncing. There are, however, 100 cinematic techniques to *convey* the idea without showing it explicitly. There is no nudity, true, but the young girls dress and move in a very sexually explicit way right in front of the camera, and for very long sequences. I was amazed: what were they thinking? I see artistic freedom the way I see freedom of speech: both are an extension of Free Will. The right to them doesn't mean that there are not consequences and you must be ready to confront them.

"Cuties" could have at least opened a bit of debate on something that it is already being debated anyway. The young actresses were commendable, and *some* interesting contents are there, but at the end the movie torpedoes itself by confirming the early denunciations of people who, possibly, never even saw it.

The Suicide Squad (2021)

A funny movie with very good actors but strangely unsatisfactory

[7/10 · 11 August 2021]

The best thing the "Suicide Squad" franchise ever produced was the "Bohemian Rhapsody" trailer for the 2016 movie. The actual movie, by David Ayers, gave me the impression that there was a good flick buried in the dreck - this even before voices that the "Ayers Cut" was different from the studio's one.

James Gunn's "The Suicide Squad" is a strange experience. I laughed, and a lot, during the many sequences and visual gags. I liked a lot the vast cast of actors and characters (except for the two-dimensional bad guys). The interplay, banter and the comic timing of many sequences was pitch perfect.

Yet, the story bored me. It is, actually, a very plain plot. Strip it down from all the funny scenes and concepts and what remains is an also-ran comic book movie. The local rebels were useful for a single very, very funny moment. Was this enough to include a whole subplot about them? IMHO no.

This movie also lacked narrative consistency. One moment it is, literally, Scooby Doo & friends; then it becomes a straight comic book movie; then we move in the territory of "Airplane!" and "A Naked Gun"; then all of sudden the level of splatter and violence is off the scale. I have nothing against splatter by itself. I love Peter Jackson's "Dead Alive". "The Suicide Squad", however, is not "Dead Alive". Characters explode in bone fragments and entrails no matter why, just because Tim Gunn acts like those kids that have fun in putting firecrackers in turds.

Which leads to the final BIG baddie, something as funny as hell, but that, once again, does seem to belong to a different movie. The very CG is Pixar-level excellent - but this only underlines that you are seeing something belonging to "The Incredibles" spliced into a totally different movie.

I loved Margot Robbie and how she is born to play Harley Quinn (even if Harley's big fight scene is so derivative from those in the "Resident Evil" movies that I wondered if they hired the same choreographer; she is even dressed like Milla Jovovich in the first RE movie). I loved Idris Elba. I loved Daniela Melchior's narcoleptic take on Ratcatcher 2. I even loved the small team surrounding Viola Davis. Many gags had me in tears from laughing. But "The Suicide Squad" is a montage of gags and sights from three different movies, with the resulting plot wallowing in derativeness and mediocrity. I can't wait to rewatch some scenes. I doubt I'll ever rewatch the whole movie.

The Ward (2010)

A movie by a tired Master of Horror

[5/10 · 8 August 2021]

It is no secret that John Carpenter's last good movie was "In the Mouth of Madness". Later efforts were strangely listless and derivative. I then saw a sudden return to form in his wonderful "Cigarette Burns" episode for the "Masters of Horror" TV series, so I was curious about this "The Ward". The result was a severe case of "Meh".

The biggest problem is the script. It is not by Carpenter and he didn't work on it. I don't know why Carpenter choose this script but it is a mess. The premise and the final revelation are interesting, but the movie is, again, derivative and, worse, full of holes. Even how the ghost acts is inconsistent. When we finally get to know its true nature the holes just become bigger.

Acting and cinematography are fine, but little more. While it is true that Carpenter directs this movie like a horror from the Eighties (and I think that here and there you can find little homages to Dario Argento), the result is a forgettable movie from the Eighties.

It is refreshing, for once, to see male orderlies doing their job instead of following the usual trope of forcing themselves on the poor girls in the institution. This is the best thing I can say about "The Ward".

Come True (2020)

A movie about C.G. Jung and sleep that is neither about Jung nor sleep

[4/10 · 2 June 2021]

Full disclosure: at 45 I decided to go to the University. I studied Cognitive Psychology and my dissertation was about the impact of New Media (including cellphones and tablets) on sleep patterns in the current era. I'm also a comic book writer who wrote a story about Jung, alchemy and shadows dwelling in forests.

Let's start by saying that this movie is extremely well shot and produced. The cinematographer (who is also the writer and the director) not only made the most out of a low budget, but also created unusually realistic camera effects to "immerse" the viewer into altered states, from disorientation to seizures. The acting by the central character is good, too.

Sadly, the rest (and the writing "in primis") is an astounding mess. Let's start with the use of Jungian terms as, literally "chapter titles". Did the director bothered to look beyond the word? "Persona" introduces the main character. "Anima and Animus" shows he become acquainted with a researcher (who, I swear, for the whole movie I mistook for Daniel Radcliffe); those terms aren't referred to "male" and "female". "The Shadow" is, literally, centered on shadow figures; this is stunningly not what Jung meant with this term. And so on.

The protagonist suffers from a serious sleep disorder, characterised by insomnia followed by deep dives into lovecraftian/Silent Hill-ish nightmares. She flees from her mother for reasons unknown and enrolls in an experimental sleep study hoping for solace. Both she and the other subjects are not "chosen": they freely sign up. Yet, the others... have her same nightmares?

While monitored she wears a suit with cables. "We can't tell you why" say the researchers. Why? Polysomnography is a very common sleep study that monitors the whole body (around the clock, BTW, not only during sleep). Bad sleep can have a lot of sources, including problems with usually common body functions during the day (like an unnatural accumulation of adrenaline). Are the scientists slyly inserting a factor in the research that causes these nightmares? But we know that our main character suffered from them *before* signing up...

Nothing is holy in this movie. Other test subjects develop "sleep paralysis". This is a real and genuinely frightening condition that has you awake but paralysed while experiencing the sight of shadows, ghosts, aliens and other horrors (watch "The Nightmare", a documentary shot by a director who suffers from it about other people with the same condition). It is also very rare. *All* the test subjects develop it? And should we believe that the shadows that "emerge" in the real world are the same they dream about? Maybe, but, and here is a genuine paradox, the scientists shouldn't be surprised: one explanation for what you "see" during a bout of sleep paralysis is that these horrors are a projection of your inner fears. Here, these shadows seem to be some kind of malevolent entities that... just happen to haunt people that *by chance*, have the same nightmares and happened to sign all up for the same experiment? Because the scientists aren't cackling with glee for an evil "occult" ritual of some kind well done, but genuinely baffled.

Other things thrown at the screen include a disappearing character; the frantic search of her by the protagonist only for the thing to be just forgotten; eyes that bleed for no reason at all; sleep paralysis during sex (sex paralysis?); a magical disappearing-reappearing cellphone that maybe has... powers; dreaming while sleepwalking (contrary to popular belief, sleepwalkers don't act out their dreams: when you dream your brain paralyses you *exactly* to avoid involuntary damage to your body; this is the source of the common dream when you try to run away from something but your legs don't answer); no curiosity about the real mystery: how are we able to sleepwalk and avoid damage to ourselves?; evil shadows in a forest that do... "something bad"; a character growing canines (I'm serious); and an ending which is such a stunning cop-out that, I guess, was written out of desperation, not as a real endgame - because there never was one.

"Come True" is a movie made by someone who discovered the wonderful world of sleep and the interesting (and disquieting) phenomena surrounding it - and that throw everything at the screen (along with a dictionary of Jungian terms) hoping that something suck. The result was a mess. True nightmares have more logic than this, just ask David Lynch.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Possibly the best Marvel Movie up to date (2021)

[9/10 · 22 April 2021]

As a comic book writer myself, I was impressed by what, scrpt-wise, Joss Whedon and Zack Penn were able to do for "The Avengers". That movie both introduced and gave story-arcs for a whole score of superheroes (and supervillains) - while keeping the action propelling forward and developing the plot in a logical way.

Then "The Winter Soldier" arrived, and the Marvel Universe raised the bar. In "The Avengers" the good guys were good guys, and the evil guys were either evil or misguided (and evil). "The Winter Soldier", instead, puts, front and center, a key question of our times: how much of your freedom you agree to sacrifice in change of "protection"? And what happens if your "protection" falls in the wrong hands?

The movie, by presenting both sides of the coin, also underlines a key conflict that "The Avengers" never recognised: the "heroes" are, of course, for freedom... but how many civilians were killed in the New York battle in name of a "greater safety"? (Netflix's "Daredevil" partially deals with exactly this kind of fallout, and what is shown is not uplifting). So, discerning minds will notice both this kind of hypocrisy and the ironic fact that the same happens here too. This is the kind of movie where the bad guys may have a point...

"The Winter Soldier" is a grounded throwback to the '70s "paranoia thrillers" like "The Three Days of the Condor" or "All the President Man". Robert Redford is not only a welcome presence, but the right actor with the right role in the right movie. A high point of the script is how it keeps the paranoia level high. You know that Nick Fury, Cap and Black Widow are the good boys - but there are enough other characters that are or maybe aren't on their side. That how the "lines" are really drawn is revealed through plot-twists is among the strongest parts of the movie.

And then there is the "Winter Soldier" himself, a mysterious warrior who does seem to be as strong as Cap and similarly trained... One of the best (and most unconventional) villains in the whole MCU.

The action is incredibly well-choreographed, with wide shots in clear daylight. Also, the general tension and unpredictability of the movie is present in the battles too: it is refreshing, for once to see a well choreographed superhero action without literally knowing how it will end.

(This movie, BTW, does seem to have a fetish with cars, car chases and assorted exploding vehicles... maybe it is a throwback to the "Bourne" movies too...)

I cut one point from my final judgement due to a single reason: this is and remains a MCU movie. You just know how it will end, and, in a plot full of twists, some of them remain very predictable. Also, why mention the problems of veteran soldiers returning from war zones only to totally drop the matter? (again, Netflix's "The Punisher" tackled the matter in a surprising mature way). One could point out that this is not that kind of story, but why bring up the matter in the first place, too, if not for only saying "See? We are aware of it!"

"The Winter Soldier" still is, IMHO, the best written, directed and acted among the MCU movies (yes, I consider it superior to "Guardians of the Galaxy I & II too). It stretched what you could do within the MCU to the limit. I'm not surprised that it was this movie, and not "The Avengers", the one that raised the bar for the following ones. It is also a nice self-contained story. If you want to watch a single MCU movie because you are curious about what all the fuss is, watch this one.

The Empty Man (2020)

Finally, a genuinely Lovecraftian horror

[8/10 · 23 March 2021]

"The Empty Man" is a slow burning horror movie that could be defined as "a story that Lovecraft never actually wrote but that he would have loved".

First and foremost, it is centered on some form of unknown "cosmic horror" whose fingerprints can be found everywhere among us puny humans: from Central Asian rites, to modern cults, to urban legends (don't let the trailer trick you, BTW: the "urban legend" angle is simply one of these fingerprints).

The movie is drenched in Lovecraftian lore and visuals (sometimes literally: it always rains, everything is wet, and the color palette is dearth and decaying). The main character himself is an investigator doomed to discover a "reality beyond our reality" both extremely grim and not completely understandable to our inadequate brains. Other classic lovecraftian themes include the progressive blurring between reality, madness and even the inability for us to rely on our own memories - until our grasp of the real world shatters and we are forced to contemplate an unfathomable abyss.

I had two problems with this movie. While I appreciated the slow-burn approach, I felt that, at 2:20 hours it was a bit too long. Shaving just 10-15 minutes would have been perfect.

The second problem is that the plot gives us too much. There is a distinction between "incomprehensible/hallucinatory" and just "confusing" - and some passages are only the latter. A leaner script would have been welcomed (to make a comparison, by concentrating on the "cult" angle "Midsommar" offered a cleaner and more focused approach. "The Empty Man", by trying to be a bit of everything, sometimes looks like if it is trying to chew more than it bit).

It is easy to forgive these flaws, however, in a movie brave enough to tackle the horror genre in a way hard to see these days, and with this level of production value. The director is a long time collaborator of David Fincher and it shows. I'm already looking forward to his next offering.