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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094481/board/flat/193255932
That sounds boring as hell and only acceptable if it turns out the baby isn't the presumed father's, but an alien from an abduction a few months back and the alien baby eats its way out of the mother's stomach. Like in Alien, Aliens, Breaking Dawn, Alien vs. Predator: Requiem, etc.
Nah, lizard babies healthy pregnancy. If anything, there needs to be more insanity to it. I mean, Summer Bay is built on a Hell Mouth. The only way the town can get normal residents is by having them move in, before they get corrupt and have horrible things continuously happen to them.
THAT'S entertainment!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094481/board/flat/193177840?d=193227695#193227695
I'd like to see Charlie die, Brax and Ruby bond together over their grief and study voodoo, bring zombie Charlie back to life, have zombie Charlie kill Jake and cause a zombie outbreak.
Also, it would be a musical.
Drop bears are generally fifteen feet tall and devour such thin policewomen in one swoop, however I think a baby drop bear that stumbles into Summer Bay would suffice. I mean, adult or infant, drop bears of any age have enough toxic bacteria in their mouths to reanimate the dead and bring them back to life.
I like to think it would just come crawling through the woods into the spooky ol' Summer Bay cemetery and start gnawing on her in her open coffin that was recently grave robbed by whatever drug addict relative is visiting.
This would also set 2013's disaster in which drop bears, mud snapper shoe-material leathery beasts, stinger tails, flat stinger tail swimmers, giant hopping beasts who love to kick, and that thought to be extinct gigantic wombat invade the town. Unlike Neighbours, I don't want to see any of these people die horribly, which will be a problem.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1327801/board/flat/192902944?p=1
I wanted to go down and see him, but my pet diprotodon who I use for travel wouldn't move.
There's nothing funny about drop bears. I've seen entire settlements being wiped out by just one. What do you think Cloverfield was based on?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1327801/board/flat/188696924?p=1
Never heard of 'em.
Kiki is right. As your best Australian friend and occasional lover, I can tell you that they tried invading us innocent white people. We just wanted to spread love and joy and they were the catalyst to the Hopper Beasts vs Scaly River Beasts vs Cheerleaders vs Victorians War III, which would later lead to the Hopper Beasts vs Scaly River Beasts vs Cheerleaders vs River Hos War IX, when the nuclear weapons got involved. []
If you need any more help, just PM me.
Some did. Our main industry - at least before the Great Platypus Vs New Zealander War - was uranium. We used to make them pick the uranium from our glowing uranium fields. It mutated some badly though. One notable person went crazy from it, became a Muslim, moved back to their home country of Kenya and then later became President of some other distant forgettable country.
It was for the East side, before the warty immigrant frog beasts destroyed most of it and we had to eat some of the slaves to survive.
Yeah, and they grew to about four feet. Still better than your dinner-plate sized poisonous funnel web spiders though.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1327801/board/flat/188658266?p=1
We speak Kanagawaian. It's similar to American English, but we make weird animal noises throughout it, scream out STOP! to end a sentence and don't use awkward abbreviations with slight incesty undertones like, for example, y'all.
I don't know. All of our maps were destroyed in the Great Emu War of 2007.
Emus are nightmarish gigantic bird-like beasts, about twelve feet tall. I've never seen one up close, but I was told that one once ate my neighbour's baby. It just picked it up in its mouth and swallowed it in one go as everybody scream and tried to stop it.
WTF is a dog!?
They're those slithering water creatures, right?
You don't have slithering water creatures from where you're from? They have about nine extendable legs, a human-like face and a mud-coloured body. They usually lie in billabongs waiting for hoppers and fight with drop bears.
Don't they teach you anything in geometry?
No, not here. Geometry pertains to deadly beasts aka 99% of the species in our country. meaning horrible creatures and minorities.
Have you ever seen the Mad Max documentaries? Or played the Fallout series? Our society heavily influenced those games.
Communist propaganda music is banned here. It angers up the laughing bird beasts' blood.
WTF is a kangaroo?
Oooooh. You mean a hopper beast. You stupid bitch, don't use your uncouth colloquialisms!
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Sleeping Dogs (2012)
Wei Shen is in deep with the triads
Sleeping Dogs - not a bad multi-platformer for United Front Games - especially considering it was on the brink of being cancelled during development.
I found that this game gives you a lot of control of the main character, Wei Shen. Straight up, I have not played a Martial Arts- based sandbox game that has better hand-to-hand combat mechanics than Sleeping Dogs. The moves that Wei Shen can perform are depicted as realistic and very well framed for a nice, smooth-looking execution.
If you are after a shooting-based sandbox game with guns, and RPG- type weapons, you will be disappointed. There are a few missions in this game that do include these items, however they are rare and this is quoted from the beginning of the game. The base of this game is Martial Arts/hand-to-hand combat. There are many chances for Wei to arm himself with items such as knives, meat cleavers and metal bars that he can use as weapons for a limited time, and there are also environmental attacks which he can perform where he will use everyday infrastructure from the world around him to his advantage.
In terms of guns though, there are different types, from simple hand guns, machine guns (uzis), long-range automatic firearms, and even an RPG/automatic hybrid. Some of these guns also have flashlights on them which make some of the darker scenes in the game look more realistic.
The aiming and firing with these weapons is great, however the lock feature when firing needs to be worked on as users may find at times their firearms are automatically locking on anything other than the targets which can be frustrating - particularly when the missions involve driving or chases.
The Martial Arts club Wei constantly visits allows the player to learn new forms for unarmed combat upgrades in exchange for jade statues which are found throughout the city via missions. There are also other upgrades to be found when Wei completes general missions.
Like many sandbox games, Wei has the ability to buy different types of clothing - hats, glasses, bracelets, necklaces, watches, shirts, jackets, pants, shoes, even entire costumes. There are also food and beverage items that can be purchased which can increase Wei's attacking, healing and general health levels.
The driving mechanics of Sleeping Dogs, I found, are its biggest letdown. This is due to the driving being very frustrating, and unrealistic. Comparing the mechanics to games like Driver: San Francisco, or Grand Theft Auto 4 & 5, you will notice a big difference.
In terms of AI (Artificial Intelligence), the enemies are put together fairly well. Many of the main characters in Wei's triad will throw their weight around when Wei first joins, and you will notice a heavy presence of testosterone. Despite this, Wei keeps a cool head. There are many women Wei gets involved in, and sub- missions such as taking them on dates and singing songs for them at the karaoke bar can be quite hilarious. It will be noted by a few of these women throughout the game that they find out Wei is involved with other ladies and won't be too happy about it. You will also notice that most of the side characters on the street speak broken English. which, given the game is set in Hong Kong, is unrealistic, as you would expect most to speak their native fluent Mandarin and Cantonese. There are many cut scenes in which a mixture of Cantonese and English are spoken in which the translation is displayed in captions.
Police are also on hand to intervene in criminal acts such as killing pedestrians, and even ramming cars into theirs. Paramedics usually arrive if a person has been killed by Wei.
There are also other side missions that are broken up into three different categories:
(1) Defeat the local gang - this requires Wei to defeat a group of thugs, mainly in hand-to-hand combat, however in some cases weapons such as knives and guns are involved);
(2) Hack the surveillance camera - once the thugs have been defeated, Wei hacks the surveillance camera in the area to gain access to it, then;
(3) Identify the drug supplier - back in his apartment, Wei then uses the camera feed to identify the drug supplier within the gang and alerts the local Police to arrest him.
The layout and details of the city of Hong Kong are great. There are various market stalls, dodgy businesses, and even thieves and street gangs which make the game more realistic. There is a financial district, hospitals, Police stations, many marvelous buildings along the harbour, and Buddhist Temples which are very detailed.
The downfalls of this game as previously noted are the driving mechanics, as well as the lock feature when firing. Apart from that, the graphics, while greatly detailed, can at times depict the characters as looking like mannequins rather than people. Finally, there are a lot of characters in this game that come and go, and considering there aren't many playing hours involved, it can often appear as too many too often. A lot of the characters also disappear throughout from the game without further mention - particularly the love interests of Wei, which can be pretty disappointing as they can be characters which the players grow to like.
On a positive note, there are many famous actors who are the voices of many characters in this game, they include: Will Yun Lee (as Wei Shen), Kelly Hu, Byron Mann, James Hong, Yunjin Kim, Lucy Liu, James C. Mathis III, Celina Jade, Tom Wilkinson, Lindsay Price and Emma Stone.
The Verdict: For a game that was going to be cancelled, I will not let Sleeping Dogs lie!
Final score for Sleeping Dogs: 7/10.
Splinter Cell: Blacklist (2013)
Review: Splinter Cell Blacklist
I have to say, Splinter Cell Blacklist is a game which delivers on so many levels.
Firstly, I would like to point out a few differences between this game and past Splinter Cell games (notably Splinter Cell Conviction), that do not impact on the rating.
I found that this game gives you more control of Sam and his gadgets, from the type of footwear he has on to the color of the glow in his Sonar Goggles. The fact that you can chose to specialise your clothing and footwear in terms of stealth and/or armor is a brilliant move. There are also more weapons available which are of great help to the player, the most notable being the tri-rotor, which gives you control of a remote-control copter-like flying drone, which can fire knock-out darts (and can also make distraction noises to flank/distract enemies), more or less giving you the ability to stealthily take down enemy operatives without killing them.
However, the enemies also have access to a type of drone themselves - it is a remote-control drone that can be driven around the perimeter, and even up and down stairs. This drone can be easily identified as it has a red light beaming from the infra-red camera. This drone also has the ability to home-in on Sam once his location has been compromised and explode causing severe damage to Sams health, preventing it (Sams health) from regenerating for some time, and in some cases the explosion may be enough to even kill Sam. Unlike the drone that Sam uses however, this drone cannot fly.
The proximity shockers are also a great way to take down enemies in a non-lethal way once they get within proximity, and the sleeping gas is also available to throw at your enemies taking them down non-lethally, as is the crossbow, if you'd rather take down enemies as you cross paths with them.
In terms of AI (Artificial Intelligence), the enemies are also different. They can hear you if you are near them or if you're trying to sneak up on them without wearing stealth clothing. The dogs are a great addition as they can raise the alarm and attack you (perhaps even kill you), to keep you on your toes. The Snipers can be very annoying, but by studying their laser pattern movement, and by using covering shelters they can be overcome with time and patience, and while the tri-rotor is a handy way of taking down the Snipers, they (the Snipers), can also take out the tri-rotors if they spot them. The most annoying, however creative addition to the AI characters, is the inclusion of Heavy Infantry. These enemies cannot be taken down with any shock weapons, sleeping gas or guns. They'll need not 1, but 2 frag grenades (or proximity mines), or 1 incendiary grenade, or a hand-to-hand takedown. This makes the game particularly more challenging as using exploding weapons raises the alarm causing other AI Operatives to swarn to the location, and in stealth missions, may result in extra AI operatives to intervene. There are also enemy operatives who have riot- like shields, and taking them down will be similar to taking out heavy infantry.
The graphics are greatly detailed, probably on par with Splinter Cell Conviction as they use the same engine and physics, perhaps even slightly improved. The stages are realistic, the music dramatic, and the objectives challenging. The missions themselves, while challenging, are not the type that will leave you pulling your hair out in frustration, they can be completed without fail if you have the right gear on, use the right approach to taking down enemies (stealth - sneaking, using the tri-rotor, crossbow, sleeping gas or proximity shockers), and also if you study the routes taken by the AI enemies.
The downfall of this game is the changing of voice actors. Michael Ironsides absence as the voice of Sam Fisher was evident from his opening sentence, and Claudia Besso was also missing as the voice of Anna "Grim" Grímsdóttir. However, these do not affect the rating as this is not a comparison, we are rating the game on its own content and merit.
The game does lose points though on 3 fronts which do impact on the rating: Firstly, in the earlier missions, many of the objectives are the same. For example, survive 5 waves of AI enemies... over and over again. Secondly, unlike Splinter Cell Conviction, you cannot re-play missions you've already completed just for fun, meaning once you finish a mission, or the game, you're done. No replaying at all. You need to start the game all over again. Is that worth the $79 paid for the game?
To a lesser extent, you cannot fully complete the game unless you play co-op online and play missions with Briggs and Sam working together. I find, personally, that games which require co-op online gameplay to be fully complete, are alienating the fact that the game is being played in SINGLE PLAYER MODE, and shouldn't have to resort to an online internet connection, or co-op gameplay to be fully complete. Online co-op gameplay is fine, but shouldn't be required in single player mode.
The Verdict: Considering that Splinter Cell Blacklist continues the story where Splinter Cell Conviction finished, in my opinion, it is a must-play for all fans of the Spinter Cell series.
Final score for Splinter Cell Blacklist: 8/10.
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Review
I was looking forward to watching this... but left in disappointment.
This movie starts off with a 5 (or so) minute real-life portrayal of how Hansel & Gretel will look. However in the scene where we meet the witch in the ginger-bread house left me confused. I was expecting to see an old lady with wrinkly skin... whereas the Witch they showed us looked like a demon summoned straight from the deepest fiery pits of hell!
After that, we then fast-forward to the future, where they are both grown up and are professional Witch Hunters.
To start off with, Hansel has to be at least 15 years older than his sister, and they're only meant to be a few years apart (given they were both young children when they were abandoned).
Secondly, H&G is a German story, yet Hansel speaks with a pure American accent. English actress Gemma Arterton, who plays the role of Gretel, and the American accent she uses can easily be picked up as fake, and in the scenes where she's screaming, you can hear her natural English accent come out.
I found a lot of the time, the movie was repeating itself;
*They hunt witches *They engage in a fight *They get separated *The evil witch escapes
Also, considering it's set in the 1800s, Hansel has what appears to be a futuristic shotgun (not only one that wasn't invented then, but one that has not yet been invented today), and Gretel has a crossbow that fires darts as fast as a machine gun fires bullets. Let's not forget that in more than one scene, we see what appears to be a hand-held taser... in the 1800s mind you! Also in one of the final fight scenes, we see the 'good witch' fire what appears to be a mounted heavy machine gun that was used in WW2.
Another scene shows a witch locked up in a jail cell when another witch comes to free her, and can set fire to the building she's captive in by a simple motion of her hand. I mean... why doesn't the Witch locked up just do something to bust herself out?
Better yet, these witches don't need brooms, they can simply jump on old stick and ride away to safety.
And all along... a... well I don't know what the creature was, perhaps a cross between a troll and an ogre, who was on the witches team, turns out to be the biggest game changer of the movie by saving Gretel not once, but twice, from her demise... and let's not forget the virgin boy who tags along with them.
Entertaining at times but I can't recall seeing a movie with so many flaws.
5/10.
Urban Chaos (1999)
Urban Chaos (VG, 1999)
This is a very good action game from late 1999. As suggested, the graphics aren't the best (let's consider though that it was made in 1999), and the storyline might border on supernatural, but it is really fun to play. You play most of the game as D'Arci, a rookie cop cleaning up the streets of Union City, a city loosely based on New York, at the turn of the millennium (1999/2000). You play a few stages as 'Roper' - a retired bomb squad expert and vigilante who comes in handy at times. He's not as fast on the beat as D'Arci, but he's much stronger. It's a typical cop game, you solve murders, crack cases, arrest a lot of wildcats (the local street gang), try to find evidence, and talk to witnesses for clues.
Of course, this all leads to the big picture, a corrupt mayoral candidate who wants non other than to make Union City his own. It also contains a very unique twist at the end of the game. There is nothing too special about it, but it has fun gameplay, is enjoyable, and at times can be humorous with the various quotes in the game.
For it's time, the gloomy streets, dark alleyways, fog, puddles, rain and mystic music all make the atmosphere of this game very impressive. I find this game would've been a great seller back when it was released (99/2000) had it been marketed better, but I still rate it very highly as I was lucky enough to come across it.
10/10