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Glewe
Reviews
The Legend of Tarzan (2016)
Nope, this is not Tarzan
I read through a bunch of the 10-stars reviews here glorifying this movie as the bets Tarzan there is. I really had to get into me asking myself if I am so wrong with my verdict. Well, I stick with it. This is one of the worst Tarzan movies I have seen.
Let me elaborate a bit. It is not the movie itself that I don't like. The cinematographic craftsmanship is great. Camera, lighting, cut, scenery and great supporting acting (Christoph Waltz is excellent again) speak for the movie. But that is not the reason why I went to see it.
I went to the theatre to get a great Tarzan experience. And this movie fails badly. Since a kid I am a Tarzan fan. I saw so many movies including the early ones with Johnny Weissmueller and Lex Barker. They had what I call a Tarzan charisma. Something that Alexander Skarsgard does not have at all. Nope, he is no Tarzan, has nothing of him. A good actor but surely no Tarzan.
The story line is very disappointing. I felt fooled. It is so trivial and easy to predict. It is not ERB's Tarzan tale filled with some additions here and there, it is a stereotype action story filled with some Tarzan tale pieces here and there.
No, this movie fails badly as a Tarzan movie. There is no "Tarzan" in it and no "Tarzan tale" either.
Northmen: A Viking Saga (2014)
A Great Movie of its Genre
"Vikings rip-off", "catching the Vikings success wave" and all those other down-talking phrases might be true. But this movie did not entertain me well because the TV series is a success. It gave me joy and excitement because the genre catches me and because it is well made. There are Vikings in this movie, and it tells a Vikings story - that is nothing that the TV series can claim as a monopoly. It's part of the genre.
I am also writing this review with the background of this year's Oscars, elevating the more intellectual movies that I do not neglect their craftsmanship and success - but that were totally boring to me.
Northmen is a movie of my liking. And I am sure it will find your excitement too if you like the genre. As such, it is well made. Actors, scenery, fight choreography, costumes and atmosphere offer everything I expected. Little shortcomings of the story are more or less irrelevant to me because I did not expect more. In fact, I expected the story to be simple and genre-like because I just wanted to enjoy an exciting and entertaining Vikings movie.
And that what Northmen is all along. Charisma and acting of the main characters will stay in my memory. The casting is excellent and together with the scenic atmosphere and action this movie gave me satisfaction from start to end.
The Sunset Limited (2011)
How good and yet not satisfying
I enjoy movies that take me away into another world, lead me thru a joyful, sad or thrilling story and that enriches all that with amazing imaging and music.
This movie did nothing like that for me, and yet it is a masterpiece. There is no story here captured on film, and yet there is one. Even though it is an uncut conversation between two men only, it reveals enough to make the story appear piece by piece. The acting is excellent, the set and details in it are amazing.
However, to get people thinking about what these two are talking about, I don't think a movie is necessary. Reading it would do. But I do admit what a pleasure it was to have Tommy and Samuel give it intonation and mimic.
In the end, as a movie in my today's entertainment world it did not take me away. It left me here in this world and had me wrap my head around the issues these men were conversing about. I have enough of that in my world already.
Der Rote Baron (2008)
Big disappointment
I was so eagerly awaiting to view this movie and finally had the chance yesterday. I really disappointed and with great sadness I see another opportunity go by to finally produce a quality movie about a German hero reaching a big audience.
Historical correctness is a virtue of German movies, so sets, costumes, planes and such were as I imagined them. But how can you tell a story about Manfred von Richthofen and his fellow pilot without putting Hermann Goering into the picture? Duh.
The story is told too quickly, it jumps from scene to scene, sometimes you don't even realize it does. You lose track quickly and you are basically looking at loosely appended scenes.
I wanted to see amazing plane dog fighting. This is one thing you can expect from a Red Baron movie made in 2008. CGI has no limits in that regards. Well, this Red Baron movie is more one bla bla scene after the other filled with a few CGI plane fights. Most depressed, yes totally crashed I was when Richthofens last flight was up - it was not shown at all!!! Nothing, nada! And this last flight and the shooting down of the Baron is the most controversial discussed event in his legend. And it was not Mr. Brown from Canada who shot him down, as was lately convincingly explained. But hey, why bother to put a single bit of film into this. He landed his plane clean and without a scratch even though deadly wounded. No, we're not showing any of that. He was buried with highest military honors by the French army - the enemy who had the highest respect for him. No, we're not showing any of that. Duh.
And what the heck are Lena Headey and Joseph Fiennes doing there. Joseph was probably hired for a few minutes of appearance just to borrow a know name to the movie. Shame on you. Lena, to me extremely attractive (so don't misunderwstand me), is totally misplaced as the nurse Richthofen was dating. Heck, Richthofen was 20 years old and with Matthias Schweighoefer playing the role of the Baron she was more looking like his mother. Great beauty does not automatically fit in every movie.
What I expected was the storytelling and effects mix of the movie Flyboys mixed with the true story of Manfred von Richthofen, specifically including the important persons and events. This movie here fails badly. Let the German historians go to Hollywood and try aagin please...
The Dark Knight (2008)
Can a great movie be too long?
Yes it can! And I do not say that because I do not like the movie or this kind of movie. It is a great action movie, it satisfies a lot and holds up to the expectations. But it simply is too long. Roughly speaking it is a reiteration of the same scenes over and over. After two hours I just had enough. Dark Knight does not have all the different times and environments as Batman Begins (childhood, Himalaya, etc.). That would justify such a long play time. Dark Knight is just Batman kicking ass in Gotham for 152 minutes.
Oh, and before I forget. What were they thinking when picking Maggie Gyllenhaal as Rachel? Is it just me or is she just too ugly for being Rachel? Don't misunderstand me. I do not want to be rude and its not personal. Maggie is surely the right choice for many other roles, but Jeez, from Katie Holmes to Maggie - what a downfall.
Anyways, it is a great movie, no doubt. But lengthiness and wrong Rachel takes away four points in my opinion.
AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem (2007)
Piece of Alien crap!
Bad plot line, bad dialogs, bad actors, bad lighting ... I could go on.
I am very disappointed and also mad at the makers of this movie who probably just wanted to use the credits of expectation to make some money. The first AVPR was a great idea, exciting and entertaining to watch - reason enough to look forward to the sequel.
This sequel is everything else than the first one. It just sucks. One should think that movie scripts are reviewed by people who want to release good movies. What were those people thinking that decided to release this one?
Don't go to the movies, don't rent it. Just forget it.
Bandidas (2006)
Disappointing
Since I watched this movie the other day I am wondering what this was all about. Somebody hires two of the sexiest women alive, puts them into too much and too thick costumes and throws them into a soup of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Zorro. So how successful can that be? A movie with Cruz/Hayek needs much more beauty and skin, no couple can ever reach the aura of Redford/Newman and Zorro is just too cool to be incarnated by a lady. All goals failed.
The story is lame, the villain looks and acts like a clown and the only character that could have saved a little value, Sam Shepard, does not have enough scenes to do so.
A waste of beauty and money.