martimusross Reviews

Civil War (2024)

It Was Rubbish

[1/10 · 31 May 2024]

Civil War

I was not going to bother writing a review until I read some of the strange and inexplicable movie reviews by other people on this site. My review is so diametrically opposite from theirs I'm beginning to believe I watched a different movie, because the movie I watched, cold Civil War, was a flaccid piece of garbage.

The movie lacked any discernible story, lacked dramatic impetus, had little or no character development, and the action sequences where we had members of the press walking alongside a tank with the soldiers was entirely absurd.

There was no script to speak of there and much of it seemed largely improvised. Kirsten Dunst seem to have attended the AB School of acting and employed two faces throughout, one of disgust and one of irritation, I have never seen an actress do so little and achieve so little. The initial idea that a Civil War in America and blowing up some of its national monuments is sufficient to sustain a movie is absurd.

At best I am getting this a 1 outta 10, my advice scare clear of this flaccid garbage and watch a computer screensaver instead as that would be more entertaining.

Star Wars: Tales of the Empire (2024)

Defies Analysis

[1/10 · 29 May 2024]

Tales of the Empire

Yet another turgid and bland facsimile lacking any heft or relationship to the source material.

You just begin to wonder in which universe this script writers live and who green-lit this tripe. There was no regard for gender balance, and I, as a young white man could find no representation. The simple tropes of all good or all bad, combined with constant threat seemed to be the only drivers employed in the whole show.

I cannot exaggerate my disgust and disappointment at this banal and tedious destruction of the Star Wars legacy.

I'm giving this a firm 1 outta 10, let's leave it there!

Rob and Rylan's Grand Tour (2024– )

A Great Show!

[8/10 · 28 May 2024]

Grand tour

Whilst the broad theme was undertaking a grand tour by two people at the start of new lives following divorce, it was about so much more.

It seemed a struggle to stick to the theme as these two gargantuan personalities flexed their muscles. What I loved at the outset was the post-gay world in which they lived, their dramas could be anyone's trauma following a breakup.

Rylan's transformation was inspirational, from first principles to culture vulture and rarely do we see such a strong personal being his own person. Rob was on the brink most of the time, wearing but honest. I would add whilst they were performing for the camera it did not seem overly contrived emotionally, and Rylan's speech modes changed in the first 30 mins from darkest Essex to somewhere far more easier to understand lol.

Overall it was a great show and they made quite a pair, I think we could send them on a couple more excursions as their journey is far from finished.

I am going to give this a firm 8 out of 10, not that I have any suggestions on how this could be further improved but I did feel it was in places a little rushed.

Rebus (2024– )

I was bored!

[5/10 · 28 May 2024]

Rebus

This was largely a formulaic detective series. Whilst we had some committed acting that was convincing it was all so overly contrived.

On top of the stereotypes we had a whole raft of kitchen sink dramas that ate away at any narrative impetus that was frustrating. Just to give a couple of example of bizarre inserts, Michael's wife was a nurse, I have never known a poor qualified nurse or doctor and I worked in the NHS for 20 years. In addition Michael had a job as delivery driver, perhaps on the minimum wage of £23k, but the nurse suggested a food bank. This drip, drip drip of issues was just misplaced not to mention her accusation her friend wasn't one of them now as she had come into money, as if money defines a person. I thought this was very poor script writing.

Just everything revolved around family it was just to much, particularly when they were all so horrible to each other.

I'm giving this a 5 outta 10, this was a reboot that didn't need making.

Monkey Man (2024)

I thought It Was Brilliant

[8/10 · 13 May 2024]

Monkey Man

Dev Patel, I have always been a solid fan, but we have had some very perplexing work over the last several years. But Monkey Man was amazing, and yes, I could make some crass comparisons to John Wick or other solo destructive machine type hero's, but here there was something new in the mix.

It was all Indian despite Dev being from Harrow, and he was a broken man, the plot and his backstory was revealed in a slow and careful way and the violence and action sequences were so over the top they became almost comic.

We had a little dialogue, but Dev acted his socks off, careful micro gestures always within character. I loved the final showdown of a bunch of units dressed as Shiva warriors, it really was inspired. If I have to find fault, it would be that it was overly long but the time flew by so this is a minor criticism.

I am going to give this a firm 8 out of 10 it really was brilliant and I would love there to be a monkey man 2.

Wreck (2022– )

It Was Rubbish!

[3/10 · 9 May 2024]

Wreck

Series 1

A very strange teen drama set on a boat

Series 2

A very strange teen drama set at a festival

I cannot form words to express how terrible this was, the whole thing had the depth of a screensaver and populated by me, me and more me vacuous characters.

It was very difficult to identify with anyone in the show no one studied, no one worked, no one paid rent, no one did anything except play on their mobile phones or any other screen available.

The script, if you can call it that, repeated the same scenes, scenarios, feelings and stereotypes ad nausium! Predictable is not the word it just went on and on!

Overall, this was terrible and I was bored throughout. Where did they find so many talentless actors? It was just incredible! At first this is 3 out of 10 meaning total drops and I never want to see anything about this ever again.

Pompeii: The New Dig (2024)

Beyond Appalling

[3/10 · 9 May 2024]

Pompeii, the new dig

I was irritated from the starting credits, the narrator spoke as if everything was so amazing despite everyone knowing about Pompeii, and they have been digging there since the 1740's, hardly new is it! Who was she speaking to, I have no clue.

The music irritated and so much time was wasted looking at unremarkable finds, we found a skeleton in a house, oh it's all so amazing, it was a disaster people died. I found this approach deeply patronising, if not antagonising, they should have sent Mary Beard to bring the romans back to life.

What really drove me mad was revisionist tropes on Roman society, I cannot believe it, this pathologist said she wanted to find out how this person died, duh! Volcanic eruption in 79AD. 30 mins in and we had seen nothing, learnt nothing from the new dig that we hadn't seen in the old dig, no explanation of finds, and the finds they showed us were most banal.

I think the approach of this series of programmes lacked history, the most casual comparison with Margaret Mountford's similar show reveals this series deficiencies in stark relief.

Episode 2 showed promise, establishing that largely the population of Pompeii had fled to surrounding towns and this is why there were no carts found in Pompeii Streets etc

Episode 3 plummeted again to the depths, of a 45 minute program we were 15 minutes in and we had seen nothing new, it was all padding and recap. We then had some strangest historian look at a charcoal drawing and then stating the drawer must have attended the amphitheatre in Pompeii, he must possess supernatural powers to deduce this, talk about overinterpretation

We were shown a whole array of objects that were not part of the new dig and were discovered years ago.

The whole showed lacked any proper historical analysis, the so called experts made inane comments, gladiators were the equivalent to footballers today, the population of Pompeii would not have known what a volcano was despite the Roman Empire lasting 1000 years and covering the known world.

At best this is a 3 out of 10 the whole thing needs redoing properly.

Kung Fu Panda 4 (2024)

It Was Fabulous

[10/10 · 7 May 2024]

Kung Fu Panda 4

It was excellent a seemingly inexhaustible franchise that delivers in spades. The animation was inspired the voice acting impeccable the details and micro gestures were simple incredible.

Awkwafina as Zhen was a total star and is just an incredible talent.

We had all our favourite characters and it was great, was there anything new you I hear you ask, maybe not, but there was just no need to have anything new!

The bull in a china shop bit was a highlight of the visual gags for me but there were so many. I laughed out loud continuously, it was very funny.

I am giving this a firm 10 out of 10 it just couldn't be any better.

Ted (2024)

Comedy Gold

[10/10 · 6 May 2024]

Ted

Season 1

The foul mouthed bear was back on fine form, of course I missed Mark Wahlberg and there golden chemistry but Mark Burkholder did a great job as his partner in crime.

This was comedy gold and the script was tight and inventive and as a serious Ted fan this definitely filled the space before Ted 3. (Please can we have Ted 3).

Seth really does complex comedy in a seemingly casual manner, we had irony, self-deprecation, slapstick, and everything in between, I loved it.

Lastly I must emphasise the strength of the characterisations, not stereotypes but genuine warm flawed characters.

From me this is a 10 outta 10 I will watch it over again and again!

The Bear (2022– )

Practically Unwatchable With Some Inexplicable Reviews On Here

[3/10 · 29 April 2024]

The Bear

I watched the first two series and it was a mixture of Succession and Gordon Ramsay's kitchen nightmares. The plot meandered with little focus or direction, what I felt was missing was greater character development from the start, it was a slow burn.

We had some terrible stereotyping, which I won't go into, I agree you don't need a masters degree to work in the kitchen but I feel these employees need to be treated with dignity and respect. Even in a drama there must be some reflection of reality and the modern world in which we live. The levels of swearing was really difficult to here and dumbed down much of the dialogue.

The level of threat, confrontation and appalling language really was very off putting! It was very difficult to like these people. They just had an absolute plethora of issues. It really was too much.

A lot of the time the camera work was so close to the actors faces it was left so many nasty images, what was that all about!

At the beginning of series 2 they tried to introduce a kind of romantic element. It was bizarre. Carmen was certainly in no place to entertain such a relationship and secondly the woman they chose to be the romantic interest was positively predatory. We just had so many scenes where they were just circling like sharks it was really, really unbelievable.

One thing I find really strange is they pride themselves on straight talking from Chicago, but then they never tackle the real issues or speak about them this was so frustrating.

Lastly, we had quite a concentration on food, but much of the food was not very nice or appetising. Four types of Plumb jus on ravioli hardly floats my boat. No one has spat out my food in years so I must be doing something right.

I want to make a comment about the acting. It was predominantly heavy duty TV method style very much on the Ginsburg model. I find this constant intensity very tiring to watch and the amount of improvisation excessive, I think they should lead by the story have a strong script and deliver the drama. Call me old-fashioned or what.

Series 2 episode 4 the show really stepped up, so far the high spot of the show and yet series 2 episode 6 was the worst. I have had Xmas dinners like season 2 episode 6 lol.

Overall the series lacked emotional intelligence, they professed to all love each other but their actions and words were the very opposite. I found the show quite sterile and lacking heart, at best this is a strange acting experiment and a 3 outta 10 from me, I just can't recommend it to anyone!

Io Capitano (2023)

It Wasn't the Tough Viewing I Was Expecting

[7/10 · 27 April 2024]

Io Capitano

This was a simple story about 2 cousins from Senegal who wanted to come to Europe for an adventure. For some this was uncomfortable viewing because the director made is clear from the start, they were not fleeing anything, not war, famine, or anything religious or political and certainly not a brutal dictatorship. In fact their home in Senegal could have been a holiday destination.

Secondly the impetus for leaving Senegal was threefold. Firstly they wanted a cousins adventure together. Secondly many of their friends had also left to seek an adventure and thirdly you could see the two young boys playing on TikTok imagining they had all the things that were presented there. It is only when the mother, challenges Seydou he makes up a story that the house is falling down and he wants to do something for his sisters he wants to contribute, but this was merely said to placate his mother.

The age of the boys being just 16 underpins the naivety of their folly and explains why most economic migrants are young men aged between 18 and 25.

They were clearly economic migrants hoping to make it big in Europe and to a great extent primarily influenced by the internet.

The two boys instigated their own destiny by just placing their trust in different gangs of crooks along the way.

The movie was well done the script tight, great camerawork and the relationship between Moussa and Seydou was brilliantly believable. I'm giving this a firm 7 out of 10.

I would add that the minute these guys arrived in Italy. I would deport them back to Senegal. This is their home and this is where they belong.

The Beautiful Game (2024)

It Really Was Very Good, I felt Better!

[8/10 · 24 April 2024]

The Beautiful Game

Well this was a contrivance from the start, football being used as an absurd anchor, to examine the backstories of homelessness of the football player's. We then had the plethora of circumstances, a new partner and a grown up son still at home, relationship breakdown, zero hours contracts, alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling, social awkwardness, mental health learning disabilities and attending care homes. It was a smorgasbord of issues.

We had some heavy weight character actors, Bill Nighy, Michael Ward, and even a cameo by Shane Casey as a referee, you certainly couldn't fault the casting.

What I found quite difficult to digest was the nearly black and white presentation of nearly everyone as a victim, not just a victim of circumstance.

Whilst I may appear negative the bigger question is was I persuaded that football can be redemptive and was I beguiled by the saccharine movie, and yes I was in spades. I'm giving this a firm 8 outta 10.

I have seen everything Michael Ward has done and this was excellent, a younger Idris Elba in the making.

Lonesome (2022)

I Was Bored, Seen It All Before!

[5/10 · 24 April 2024]

Lonesome

Who would have thought that a movie director and script writer in 2022 could conclude that some attitude and sporadic nudity was sufficient to sustain a movie.......well it just ain't! At best we had some simplistic emotional exploration but it was shallow.

There was an early scene on the beach with Casey that remained unexplained, in fact it was a slow burn revealing his backstory. When it was revealed it was quite banal, things got complicated at home so he fled to the city. Wow so rare!

What was good was the chemistry between Casey and Tib, this was the only reason I continued watching. Also the losing oneself in transient relationships to avoid emotional entanglements was cleverly engaged with as a coping mechanism in gay life.

Despite the emotional vacuum Casey became "attached" to Tib and then misread a situation that lead to a violent encounter. I got the feeling we were looking at children pretending to be adults, what with the constant storming in and out! As a depiction of gay life this was a rainy Tuesday in Brighton and only slightly more interesting than "hair night" lol!

Always a problem how to end such a movie and I think they went with the right choice. At best this is a 5 out of 10 I enjoyed the camera work but the story was so shallow. It really needed a proper script writer.

Baby Reindeer (2024)

It Was Okay But Has Been Overhyped!

[6/10 · 23 April 2024]

Baby Reindeer.

Having watched the lot I found this show very self-indulgent, there was perhaps several elements of catharsis in this, perhaps that's why it was written, but despite this many of the psychological insights are shallow, perhaps this again was entirely intentional.

As the show developed Donny just presented no internal resources and seemed unable to manage nearly every situation effectively, the exaggerating and ramping up of the drama creating a dramatic impetus. We come to learn why he lacked any resilience in episode 4

The camerawork was excellent with some strange angles and viewpoints telling us all was "weird". It was quite a flaw in the plot to not have gone to the police sooner but as this is a true story we have to go with it

Come episode 4 we had Donny's backstory, and quite a revelation it was! The drama throughout this section is a little disingenuous, the narration says no, no and more no, but before us on the screen we see complicit yes. I was confused when we, the viewer, could see what Darrien was about from the start and so must have Donny! When you go into the lion's den you will surely be eaten by the lion. Whilst we had an array of compelling explanations, mainly the promise of fame, from a personal perspective none of them quite rang true.

In episode 5 Donny infers it's all the police's fault but it was clear that only 6 months down the line did he identify his stalker comprehensively to the police, what can you expect!

Overall, it was okay, it was as I say very self-indulgent, the story was compelling but Donny fails to internalise the part he has played in his own life, the ending was overly contrived and the whole thing lacked emotional intelligence. The best scene was in episode 6 with Donny's mother and father.

At best this is a 6 outta 10, meaning patchy moments of brilliance interspaced with dross.

How to Have Sex (2023)

Quite A Mess

[3/10 · 18 April 2024]

How To Have Sex

Rarely are we exposed to such selfish, self-obsessed people who are all about me, me and more me. Seemingly the director wanted us to like these girls, as they were in some sort of rights of passage, he failed in this task.

Someone needed to explain to them about "self-objectification", even though this was their stated agenda, they wanted to score with as many meaningless guys as possible. Day two they confirmed in was an 18 - 30 package holiday where sexual exploration is at the heart of the activities, and mere attendance represents near consent.

Tara was clearly looking for a holiday romance as she put the brakes on during one of the games, and appeared shocked as to what she had signed up for and as for the beach scene she gave consent, and because she didn't get the romantic interlude she wanted she then had buyers remorse.

The director seemed to be making a distinction between consent and explicit consent but the movie was a mess, Tara could have said no at any point and that would have been respected all the way through.

This was a teenage strop about nothing, at best this movie is a 3 outta 10, it just failed to draw all the lines or explore the issues in any meaningful way.

Spin Me Round (2022)

Terrible

[2/10 · 14 April 2024]

Spin Me Around

If this was meant to be a comedy I didn't laugh once, we had one strange and awkward scene after another. It was really quite inexplicable, as for the romance the men were all creeps and the women acted so strangely.

The movies central theme seemed to be the shock of decadent Europe for conservative American. We had some bizarre moments and I just wanted it to end!

Then we had the strangest of plot twists, it became quite surreal, not sure quite what to make of it, but it was weird. I won't even mention the ending.

At best this is a 2 outta 10, quite ridiculous, best avoid this!

Wolf (II) (2021)

Terrible!

[3/10 · 14 April 2024]

Wolf

I don't think I have ever seen a movie about species dysphoria, and here it is, it became clear that the treatment is the same for any other form of dysphoria.

We had scene after scene examining different treatment methods within a mental institution on various patients at different stages of recovery.

I'm not sure I learned anything apart from witnessing the tragedy and having a weird subject for a movie does not make a good in of itself.

It was glacially slow and how George MacKay kept a straight face or agreed to do this movie it beyond me.

Of course the elephant in the room was self-determination, is was clear here, you could not self-determine as a squirrel as that was deemed to be wrong thinking, clearly this was a pop at current trends of self-determination.

I was bored from the start and I laughed out loud several times when I am sure I wasn't meant to, at best this was a weak 3 outta 10, it was truly dreadful!

Shared Rooms (2016)

So Overly Contrived

[5/10 · 14 April 2024]

Shared Rooms

This was so overly contrived and sickly sweet it was difficult to watch and not squirm in one's seat. Some of the acting was good, but the photographer, I forget his name, barely kept it together.

The sentiments covered were wholesome and it normalised so much that gay men have fought for over the years and it was very progressive. Of course no one worked, cleaned, did the laundry or dealt with the daily grind and yet everything was perfect in every house.

On a shallow level I enjoyed it but it was instantly forgettable, at best it's a 5 outta 10, it could have been great but it just wasn't.

Say Uncle (2005)

Strange Subject Matter

[4/10 · 14 April 2024]

Say Uncle

What happens if gay men want to have children or be involved with children seemed to be the theme of this movie. However the subject was treated so superficially that this movie just totally missed the mark. The actor that played the lead was portrayed as being somewhere on the autistic spectrum, and so in many ways there was a seemingly innocent adult that seemed unaware of the more darker areas of human existence.

This point was then laboured over and over with one drawn out scene after another where Paul just misunderstood, misinterpreted or mishandled the situation.

Overall it was quite a mess, the acting was good but everything else was bad. At best this is a 4 outta 10, best avoided.

Write Around the World with Richard E Grant (2021)

It Was TV Gold

[10/10 · 13 April 2024]

Write Around The World

It was an incredible and focussed series that combined specific places with literary imagination, such a simple idea brought to life in the most visceral way. As Richard concludes his exploration of place become "3D" as he sees, smells and delights in the same sensual expressions of an array of different authors. Must in the same way we daffodils after having read Wordsworth's poem.

His acute intellect, his grasp of each book and his examination of the emotional context of the written word was revelatory.

This show was both Richard and the BBC at its best, please can further series be made as this was TV gold, and advertise it widely as I only came upon this gem by chance.

It is a 10 out of 10 from me. I can find no fault whatsoever..

Wicked Little Letters (2023)

Dreadfully Flawed & Lacking Any Emotional Intelligence!

[6/10 · 11 April 2024]

Wicked little letters

From the outset you thought this little movie with the brilliant cast and clever script would deliver in spades, however the whole film was a very patchy experience.

What was good? The cinematography was brilliant. The music was brilliant. The acting was a masterclass in nuanced micro-gestures. The characters were brilliantly drawn.

Literally everything else was bad, the script railed against the supposed patriarchy of the early 20th century. All men were portrayed as idiots or some sort of longstanding joke and had a uniformity of superficial characterisation. Where as all the women were expertly drawn stereotypical types, the mouse, the practical, the religious, the sensible, the professional. We then had a comprehensive rewriting of history much in the way Bridgerton or Queen Charlotte was undertaken, with inclusivity boxes being ticked all over the place, this was a colossal distortion of the past and very very difficult for most viewers to make sense of this movie within its context.

To my mind the most heinous crime was the lack of emotional intelligence if this movie was trying to argue the case of pre-eminance from a woman's perspective why would it then allow the main protagonist to choose a woman as her victim? This was nonsensical? It really was a psychological miss with little explanation as to the drivers and impetus for the action.

I enjoyed the acting. I enjoyed the setting but everything else I loathed with a vengeance at best this is a 6 out of 10, it was okay but I don't recommend anyone going to see this movie.

Fulboy (2015)

I was so bored

[3/10 · 11 April 2024]

Fulboy

This was a documentary about the behind scenes of what goes on with footballers, but the director failed to understand that most famous people live the most banal and tedious lives out of the spotlight, and much of that time is spend preparing for their moment in the sun.

For a documentary to have any meaning it needs a voice it needs to express a viewpoint it needs to reveal a known truth to the viewer, here we were merely present. This just not enough, it must have an element of educating, entertaining or informing, this was sterile on every level.

In 2024 the homoerotic gaze on the male form has no purchase for the viewer I found myself dwelling on the carpet or the drapes lol

This was like watching a screensaver, at best this is a 3 outta 10 meaning skip the drivel!

Meet the Roman Emperor with Mary Beard (2024)

Mary Beard At Her Very Best

[10/10 · 10 April 2024]

Without doubt when Mary Beard sticks to her expertise she is unsurpassed in her communication of history and making it all come to life in funny and anecdotal asides. It is TV gold when she translates graffiti and makes the dead live.

This programme brings to life her wonderful book of the same name.

Mary has done other things outside of ancient history that quite frankly I did not enjoy and I can only conclude that experts need to stay in their lane. I had the pleasure of seeing Mary in conversation at the Barbican and she is a total star.

My advice to the BBC is to commission Mary for lots of future projects as she is an incredible talent and the BBC at its best. Could we send Mary to review the latest finds at Pompeii in April 2024, this would be brilliant!

10/10.

Bank of Dave (2023)

It Was Great Movie

[7/10 · 9 April 2024]

Bank of Dave

Well, despite the homespun northern stereotypes this was a great movie, the whole thing rested on Joel Fry and Roy Kinnear and they delivered in spades.

The banking intrigues and court stuff worked, the romantic and rock concert elements did not, there was just no chemistry between Joel and the female doctor, of course this is only my opinion. I liked the character choices that Joel chose for his character diffident yet unassuming and yet prepared to step up to the plate when needed to it really was a fine bit of acting.

Overall it was a very traditional movie with a firm beginning a strong middle and a very nice ending. This arc like structure is very unusual today in movies and was a very pleasant surprise.

Overall this is a 7 out of 10 very much a family feel good movie I did feel however there were too many over contrived scenes to illicit emotion in the viewer. It reminded me a lot of the full Monty.

Scoop (2024)

Quite A Rewriting Of History

[5/10 · 9 April 2024]

Scoop

I don't think this movie had the effect the Director was attempting, the movie demonstrated the ruthless hunt for a news story from its early beginning to dramatic revelation.

However their were at least 2 elephants in the room, first this movie was a total condemnation of journalists at the BBC, they appeared a bunch scurrilous vultures picking over the bones of other peoples lives. The second was the total lack of obvious impartiality whilst they pretended to seek rebalancing from the accusations by interviewing the Duke. They presented the accusations as the truth when they were not they were merely allegations. And of course, subsequently, the damning photograph of the Duke with a young woman has proven to be manufactured.

The idea that the Duke ended litigation by paying this woman off is not entirely true. The barriers estimated the cost of going to court far exceeded what it would cost to settle, everyone knew that at the time. No one here believed the Duke had committed any crime except that of poor judgement and seemed to be found guilty on the altar of association, yet the BBC destroyed this man's reputation and he hasn't worked since.

This interview and the way the BBC behaved over Brexit demonstrated their total lack of impartiality and the need to disestablish them from being the public broadcaster, a process well underway.

In terms of the acting Billy Piper, she was pedestrian and just overacted but the rest I enjoyed and I thought Julian Anderson and Keeley Hawes were absolutely brilliant.

At best I am giving this a 5 out of 10 the whole thing was a work of fiction and not balanced.