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Reviews
Hellraiser (2022)
The spooks are alright
The gore is decent, the monsters are interestong, the plot is expected. On the other hand, the writing and script are blegh, is like one of those "written by wamen" but from a man who thinks he knows how to write like a wamen. I thought punchable faces only comes with penises but I was wrong, the lead actress is beyond annoying to watch and very hard to like. Review ends here the rest are just filler words. A take on Clive Barker's 1987 horror classic where a young woman struggling with addiction comes into possession of an ancient puzzle box, unaware that its purpose is to summon the Cenobites.
I Came By (2022)
Oh Mr. Darcy
If only Bridgett knew what lies behind that Christmas sewater. I feel like the director really carefully not want to shove any woke subjects down the throat while actually prancing around touching woke subjects here and there which makes it pretty "safe" to watch for all. And WTF is Naz's problem? Your man is literally going through some shizz and you decide to make it your vegana moment? That is the only icky thing about this film, the rest are worth your two hours. Review ends here, rest are filler words A rebellious young graffiti artist targets the homes of the wealthy elite but discovers a shocking secret that leads him on a journey endangering himself and those closest to him.
Wolf (2021)
one major plothole
If he's wolf and she's a cat then how are they fugging? As far as i know interspecies attraction is not a thing amongst animals especially from two whole different species, if it is between the wolf and the dog then it might have been more believable.
Review ends here, rest is just filler words. Jacob, a man who believes he is a wolf trapped in a human body, is sent to a clinic by his family where he is forced to undergo increasingly extreme forms of "curative" therapies at the hands of The Zookeeper. Jacob's only solace is the enigmatic wildcat with whom he roams the hospital in the dead of night. The two form an improbable friendship that develops into infatuation.
Euphoria (2019)
Why so horknee?
Well... i guess i would too if i was straight back in high school. It's a pretty average teen drama but obviously with 2022 woke cast and story and like OMG So EDgY, but ultimately it's just about how horknee everyone is. Review ends here rest are just filler words.
A look at life for a group of high school students as they grapple with issues of drugs, sex and violence. The series focuses on the relationship between two young girls trying to find their place in the world: recovering addict Rue and new-in-town Jules. A look at life for a group of high school students as they grapple with issues of drugs, sex and violence. The series focuses on the relationship between two young girls trying to find their place in the world: recovering addict Rue and new-in-town Jules.
La scuola cattolica (2021)
Waaaay too slow
I dont get whats the point of introducing so many characters when eventually its just about those three, got so bored halfway through the movie i don't even understand where the story is going. Then the plot happens and it was just ok, its just seem pointless. Maybe if i understand the history of the plot it'll be more interesting. Review ends here, rest are just filler words.
In late September 1975, a renowned Catholic school in Rome for sheltered, upper-middle-class boys is attacked in what became known as the Circeo Massacre. The film examines what triggered the violence. In late September 1975, a renowned Catholic school in Rome for sheltered, upper-middle-class boys is attacked in what became known as the Circeo Massacre. The film examines what triggered the violence.
Eternals (2021)
Enjoyed it more than i thought
Not as dumb-loud-bang-bang as other marvel franchises, also not as tryhard-woke-smart as some other marvel movies, the balance is just right. Hopefully they made this a long running series.
Zhou (2022)
Is it about bebe?
I dont get why they made this as a "found footage"? If they just made it like a regular movie it might be more interesting. Found footage + multiple camera angle + basic spooky sound effect = forced and unnatural.
The Master Cleanse (2016)
I guess this is what philosophy major is for
I do get and like the whole "cleanse" yourself angle, that the only way to overcome trauma, negativity within yourself is just as hard as to unalive oneself.
Spiderhead (2022)
Rogan x jeff when?
Chris hemsworth? Chris effing hemsworth? Is he cheap to get now? Don't get me wrong he's hot and all but the last thing he is is what an evil genius would look like, Mark would be a more believable villain than he is. Another annoying thing is this trend of putting a bunch of 70s pop song in an off putting scene, it's so overly done and not all movies can pull it off.
Pengabdi Setan (1980)
a good chuckle
I forgot how absurd old movies were, but still, it's pretty interesting if you're in a mood for a chuckle. Plus the boy is cute, and sweaty like most of the time.
Detak (2020)
Ok movie, awful wig
Like is he too big of an actor that he won't grow his own hair for a main role? Even so, who tf thinks this stale-ass wig is good enough lemao.
The acting was mid, the script was awful, nobody talks like this, the directing was hella awkward, like he never seen how human behaves and interacts in real life, the cinematography was excellent, in fact it's the only thing that makes me keep watching, and the wig is just so awful.
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
Eh it's pretty much saw with some story
I don't know why the hell they cast chris rock for this, his acting is the equivalent of that twilight girl that can barely express anything, basically act tough and just screams a bunch of times.
Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (2021)
We are A C T I N G !
It's pretty much the same as the first one, only with no famous actors. Even worse, the hottest guy they cast dies within first room, immediately lost interest.
Bad Vegan: Fame. Fraud. Fugitives. (2022)
Misleading title
You'd thought it'd be more about vegans being bad but it's basically just another tinder swindler who happens to con a vegan. It's not even interesting enough that 4 episodes feels too long.
Come to Daddy (2019)
I thought it's the other kind of "daddy"
You know.. the kind that leaves you gaping and gasping? Anyway, is this adapted from a play? Everything about it is so theatah! If you can bear the theatah writing you might find the spooks and twisty twist worth the wait, but i didn't. In conclusion, i want a daddy.
Mortal Kombat (2021)
Whothef is cole young?
I guess even netherealm hates takeda so much they decide to make a new character for scorpion's son. It's obvious the budget for this movie went most for vfx and stunts which is great, hence the story and script are kinda meh, the whole "arcana" thing feels like they trying to make a superhero movie which is odd but it sells. In conclusion, sonya's screams are unnecessary and shang tsung looks wrong.
Cats (2019)
Omg it's so awful everyone must see it!
What the hell is jellical?? Lemao this movie is so good at making me uncomfortable, I haven't felt this awkward with my tv since birdemic. I honestly can't believe everyone involved in this movie thinks that this is "good".
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
As Celine Dion once said: the power of loooooovee
The movie should've been named "reminisce" instead of "resurrection". It's good they showed snippets from past movies cause i can't remember what has happened, but like every 10 minutes? It's feels like i'm a watching a clip show for a season finale, but omfg lawd how hot young Keanu was!
The sfx still gives me the ooohs and ahhhs like in every matrixs, but the action / fighting scenes is definitely on the lower grade than previous movies, it's just not as clean. In conclusion, new agent smith looked like he's into some kinky isht.
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
The story is
Kinda meh, but i like how everything reminds me of a well made kung-fu movie but with marvel's sfx budget. Still better than ant-man, but not as good as wakanda.
And Just Like That... (2021)
I liked it
Yea it sucked samantha's not there, but as a kid who grew up watching them this feels just like another season of satc. Sure the woke angle is barely bearable but hey that is exactly how i felt when i see kids these days.
Cruella (2021)
My 13 gay old self would worship this movie
But my 35 bitter old self just can't seem to enjoy how jarring everything is. From overly excessive soundtracks, awkward directing, and the whole double identities angle is just feels off. In conclusion mark strong is hella daddy.
Dune (2021)
Spicy
I didn't watch the og dune so when i saw "part one" i knew this movie will give me blueball. Still, the movie is pretty great even to a non sci-fi enjoyer like myself.
Scream (2022)
There he goes again
Haven't watch scream since the third one maybe? So i don't know any characters connections or easter eggs in this movie, if there is one. The story is hella dumb and 'sad', it's like listening to one of those overly insecure kid's story that keep making fun of themselves so the cool kids would accept them. Bottom line it's just another basic scream franchise.
One of Us Is Lying (2021)
Gossip girl diversified
I can's stand gossip girl and i can't stand this either. Every episode is just a repeat of "you did it! No you! Ok let's kiss..." Very dumb, very boring. At least the characters are not all white straighties.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
2000's slasher but woker
The writing is hella dumb, the directing is whatever, the casts are unattractive, these are expected from a cheap thrill flick, but the gore is decent. It is nice they tried to 'wokefied' and old franchise but as someone who've seen most of leatherface saga this one is bottom tier for me.