Reviews
Batoru rowaiaru (2000)
Why bother
Don't let anyone fool you, there is no social commentary in this film. Other than a comletely ridiculous "adults are afraid of children" thing that we never see, juat hear like two characters talk about, there is literally not a drop of social commentary.
Which means that this whole film just boils down to a rubbish highschool drama with unnecessary violence. And it was really like a poor highschool drama, every single character at one point or another mentions their crush as if anyone would actually care about that in a fight to the death.
No characters particularly, no acting per se and really nothing to watch this for, unless you really like watching children die.
That said it's not actually the worst thing ever, just getting quite close.
Elephant (2003)
Don't expect a drama or a blockbuster
I think it's easy to dismiss this as pretentious or lazy because of the lack of edits, music and well developed characters.
However, I think this film is ultimately a challenge. The film doesn't build tension to let you know which character you should want to survive. It doesn't use sad music to tell you which characters deaths you should be sad about. It doesn't have obvious good guys and bad guys. It doesn't have edits that buold emotion.
By ignoring all of these shorthands, the film leaves you on your own, to make your own decisions.
The hollowness of the film really hots you when you finish. It's not that you cry and hate a common enemy (people who shoot schools), but instead the film forces you to take the hard root, challenging the idea that school shooters are evil inherently, whilst also challenging the idea that they are products of their own environment.
Essentially, the film never tells you how to feel, so you have to actually feel it.
Some of the acting wasn't great though.
The Fly (1986)
Horrifying in the best way
A sci-fi horror that fully realises it's potential by focussing on the characters and the downward spiral of Jeff Goldblum. Many horror films don't have a strong character focus and are more focussed on tension and scaring the audience, so to have a film that derives it's horror from the audience's empathy towards the characters (especially for a 70s film) is refreshing.
The main characters are played wonderfully with a very believable chemistry, and every part of the story was well thought out and developed.
The start is a little bit slow but not too slow as to lose you completely and the mystery is excellent at the begining.
The body horror is also really disgusting.
Last Night in Soho (2021)
Wish the ghosts were less prevalent
I don't think I've seen any other film so accurately show the horror of just existing in the world, and the tension and fear of being in a dangerous city at night. The mysterious fladhbacks are genius and fantastic and the ending is ultimately satisfying. Even the romance (which I feel so many films would be better without) was a great addition.
It annoys me, therefore, that maybe a third of this film is lost to a basic and frankly tired and stereotypical ghosts chasing the main character. AND THEN THEY'RE NOT EVEN EVIL (SPOILERS)? Just really felt the whole ghost bit detracted from the overall story.
The Nice Guys (2016)
Funny, Enganging, Ryan Gosling. What's not to love?
I have to start with huge praise to the lighting, art and props departments, who nailed the 70s vibe so completely and thoroughly. I also have to give huge praise to gosling, crowe and rice, who all played their parts fantastically and really sold the story.
In fact on the topic of Angourie Rice, it's worth mentioning that Holly March absolutely steals the show and is a fantastic, loveable character throughout the film.
I really enjoyed the comedy and while this film definitely didn't have some great moral point to prove, it really was funny and watchable to the last.
He's literally so me and I'm him omg.
The Matrix (1999)
Story was a bit of a let down
The action is amazing and the direction and production are unique and unforgettable. The frozen in mid air cameras and the twosting while neo dodges bullets are just two examples of extraordinary bits of production that tell a story even without context.
I was engaged for every second and believed every betrayal and life risking decision from every character. I just didn't believe that neo being "the one" could really explain everything he did, like reviving himself from the dead. The love B-story was also pretty boring and tired, even ignoring the lack of chemistry between the actors who were supposedly in love.
The whole AIs taking over the world and keeping humans captive for energy was a bit ridiculous and I'd rather we never found out why humans were imprisoned by, but as an allegory I think the imprisonment thing works.
Tonari no Totoro (1988)
Just a bit Annoying
I think I quite enjoyed the story and liked the simple childhood fantasy of the whole thing, but I was annoyed eith the screamed line deliveries.
Having watched about half a season of an anime before, I wonder if this is a recurring problem with all anime? Even if it isn't, it's definitely a problem in this film and I can't really enjoy something when my ears are being assaulted in that way.
If you like anime then this is probably great, with a fun premise, good characters and some fantastic fantasy elements.
The cat bus was horrifying though. If I'd seen this as a child I would've had nightmares for months about the cat bus.
Blue Velvet (1986)
A difficult film to review
From a purely technical standpoint, this is incredible. The moments when you should be disgusted are stomach turning, the tension is built with incredible skill using music, ambient noise and direction and the sets and lighting subtly but perfectly reflect the mood of the scenes.
My only really problem with this film tevhnically is the character sandy (was it sally?) is very two dimensional and the stilted romance between the two is completely unnecessary.
The problem I have in terms of reviewing this is that i really don't know if I enjoyed seeing it. The descent into the criminal underbelly of a picturesque town is shown brilliantly and captures perfectly what David Lynch was trying to show, but it's so didturbing and tense that it ends up being something you don't really want to ever watch again.
I do think this film is brilliant but I also think this review needs to reflect that this isn't fun or light and it's really sick actually in places.
Talk to Me (2022)
There's Nothing I Don't Love About This
From the very opening scene, this film establishes itself as being incredibly realistic but truly horrific film, and it never loses that tone.
The use of ghostly possession as an allegory for addiction brings a theoretically paranormal premise into the real world, which makes every single beat of this film more terrifying. What really makes this scary, however, is the complete loss of self from the main character (perfectly played by Sophie Wilde) and watching the spiral of her life crashing and burning around her.
Whoever did the makeup deserves a raise for their truly sickening efforts, and whoever did the music deserves a raise for permanently ruining la monde for me forever. The direction and camera work also provide something new and great to this which I don't see in other films.
The ending (no spoilers) is exactly the ending the film needed and deserved and generally this is a sole crushing film.
Finally this depiction of grief is one of the most believable I've ever seen on screen.
The Terminal (2004)
My love of silly little rom-coms is outweighed by my hatred of Tom Hanks
I can't blame the problems of this entire film on Hanks, although this really is a shockingly substanceless performance from him. His bug-eyed clueless idiot demeanour and awful accent are only the start of the problems with this.
Firstly, making up a country that gets overthrown is a bold emotional decision would be great if it had any emotional weight and wasn't just used as a plot device.
Secondly the fact that Tom Hanks is not lastingly impacted by either the loss of his country or being endlessly stuck in an airport gives this film a lack of consequences for what happens (classic Tom Hanks film of course we arent allowed emotional stakes).
Thirdly, the decision to have an evil security guy is ridiculous (evin if Tucci has one of the only good performances in the entire film) and allows the film to fall into a predictable "good guy vs bad guy" routine which is incredibly boring.
Fourthly, I neither believe nor like nor care about the romance which is theoretically central to the film.
Finally, it's worth mentioning that John Williams nailed it and even seems to have tricked people into believing this film had emotional weight, so good for him I guess.
That's just about everything that I think about this film so I guess to wrap up I would say to not bother watching, unless you were planning to watch paint dry for two hours.
The Mummy (1999)
Just not good
I mean seriously there was nothing enjoyable about this, none of the characters were actually likeable (except that stupid british guy he was alright), I didn't believe anything that was happening for a single second and the conflict and tension were so forced they might as well not even have tried.
The acting was also shocking, with huge amounts of dialogue being said rather than actually acted and sime of the physical acting was so awfully fake it would've made a decent comic actor cry.
The worst bit though was the thorough lack of plot. I genuinely don't think I can describe how boring the plot was, because theoretically, saving the world from an ancient mummy sounds really cool. I think, however the film spends too much time killing people (without suspense) to make a plot of any sort.
I really did not like this one.
Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain (2001)
Absolute banger
I don't think there's anything i can say about this masterpiece that someone hasn't already said but i seriously love everything about this. It doesn't shy away from getting real but it equally doesn't dwell on being sad, instead telling a happy quirky love story, that is very interconnected, all being tied together by character development and mysteries that you get to watch unfold in front of you. The directoral style is unique and brings a fantastic quality to the whole thing.
I absolutely adore all the characters but especially the painter and how his artwork connects him to the world and and most importantly Amelie.
I don't think there's anything left to say except WATCH THIS FILM.
Superbad (2007)
The humor definitely wasn't my style
I had to stop and come back to this twice because i really just couldn't stand it's style of comedy, which is a shame because I like a lot of the more serious moments and the actual feelings behind the story. Unfortunately any genuine moments were ruined so thoroughly by being burried in the tirade if sex jokes, that you almost forget that there were any good bits at all.
The redeeming and best quality this film has is it's cast, Cera is perfect if you want the audience to root for a bad person, Hader is hilarious and Emma Stone is charming despite playing across from Jonah Hill's terrible character. I really only finished it because the cast gave me a false hope that it might get better.
So advice for anyone who wants to watch, if you don't find constant streams of sex jokes funny, don't bother.
Marie Antoinette (2006)
Struggles badly with pacing and aesthetic
I like what this film was trying to do, in terms of rethinking the way we remember and treat marie Antoinette, as the villain who said "let them eat cake" and not as a real human, doing what seemed right to her. However, I don't actually like this film, for my many reasons, the worst of which being pacing.
I don't mind a slow film with lots of shots of very little that help establish emotion and tone, however this film featured many long shots of large buildings and halways, with little emotion, to indicate a grand, formal atmosphere that just make the film really boring.
The second problem I have is aesthetically this film won't commit, with some scenes being set to peruod accurate irritating music and ooccasionally others being shot to upbeat modern pop songs. This leads to every pop music scene feeling strange and out of place.
On a similar note, the film can't decide ehich language it's using, with some people speaking english, some english with american accents, some english with obviously fake posh accents, some people french and occasionally people saying french phrases in an american accent, which is just wierd.
Easy A (2010)
Much better than it's highschool teen drama marketing would have you believe.
The themes of identity and discussions around sl*t-shaming may take place in a high school but they absolutely reflect the real culture of our world. I love the way the story is told and the way you're genuinely affected by some of the worst things that happen.
Of course it wouldn't be fair to review this without mentioning Emma Stone's phenomenal performance, which I truly believe could not have been pulled off by any other actor.
I can't believe I'd never heard of this until i happened to be scrolling netflix, because this is easily the best film about high schoolers I've ever seen.
Really great 8/10.
Morbius (2022)
Was told to expect a dark vampire movie, watched a laughable mess
Maybe it's just that i don't really watch marvel films but this felt quite a lot like a waste of time to me. None of the characters or relationships had any depth or meaning, character motivations were paper thin and the acting did little to convince you otherwise. The conflict and tension of the film comes from childhood friends who have opposing worldviews, which would theoretically make for an interesting story, except that little is done to convey their friendship and the conflict in worldview is because one of them doesn't care about killing people. This makes the film really boring. The dialogue is so corny and trope-y it feels like many lines were ripped straight from awful b-movies, however, the action isn't awful.
Nobody (2021)
Standard action film but still worth seeing
The Hollywood formula for an action movie is pretty carefully followed in this, guy gets caught up in crime by mistake and has to defend himself and his family from baddies with guns and gory murders. All that said, the film is very good, the story is well paced, the action engaging, the characters believable and realistically motivated.
One thing i particularly loved was the direction of the opening few weeks, the repetitive monotony was perfectly achieved, so that when the man goes out seeking a fight, I believe that he genuinely feels the need to do that.
This film is everything action films need to be but little more so don't go in eith too high expectations.
Singin' in the Rain (1952)
everything i don't like about musicals
Musicals can be amazing and mind blowing when the musical numbers are used well. A good musical number cam be like a soliloquy in ehich the character shares their deepest thoughts through words and movement, however most of the musical numbers in this film were just an excuse to make the lead man tap dance again.
The writing wasn't awful but it did come off sometimes like a low rent sitcom that was constantly patting itself on the back, which was kind of fun in places, if largely not great. All that said, this is a positive upbeat hollywood romance musical so if you like those then it's definitely not a complete waste of time.
Roman Holiday (1953)
yeah it's good
Likeable and believable characters with consistent motivations and believable romance and I definitely liked the way the holiday was set up. I don't really know where this comes in the history of romcoms but it definitely feels like people are still trying to create a romcom like this to this day. Some of the physical comedy was a little much and i felt the movie might've faired better without it, however this is only present in a few scenes. Not the funniest, nor most original, nor most emotionally involved film I've ever watched but well worth a few hours if you want to see a romcom anytime soon.
Swiss Army Man (2016)
its not meant to be funny
Its completely insane but its definitely not funny. Its wierd and off putting and disgusting but it makes you wanna cry, because underneath all the surrealism and fart jokes, its touching and a brilliant, very human look at loneliness and insanity.
It somehow manages to convey emotion beautifully well through the bizzare soundtrack and ridiculous conversations, and remains relatable and feels real throughout. Despite the nonsense that the main character partakes in and the ridiculous situation he ends up in, you can understand him and everything he does throughout. The world is seen through his point of veiw and i think the world ends up being easy to become immersed in because the character is so real.
Great film.