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Reviews
Soulcalibur (1998)
My favorite fighting baby
I have never played any other fighting game with so much depth on it. Not that the story is deep, of course-I'm talking about the engine. Soul Calibur features so many extra modes, characters and moves that it makes me wonder if Tekken Tag Tournament will really take it down. Not to mention the Graphics, of course-the world had never seen anything as graphically detailed before. The two characters on screen really use all of what the Dreamcast can offer.
It is just a pity that other DC games aren't this good. If you own a Dreamcast, of course, you MUST buy it. Not doing it would be a waste.
Seiken densetsu 2 (1993)
One of the greatest. Ever.
Get lost, Link- you don't stand a chance against Square's Secret of Mana. Why? Simply because it is five times bigger than any Zelda game, features levels for weapons, spells and characters, a large amount of weapons, a devastating, incredible world design and a number of villages and equipment that makes you kiss your back goodbye. So you go play your Ocarina inside of your Deku tree while I explore the universe on the back of a dragon. I will keep flying on the skies until a decent sequel come out- Legend of Mana just doesn't do its job.
The Godfather (1972)
No other movie can touch it.
Hmmmm... well... I spent some time thinking about what I would write about this movie. First off, I am very disappointed I can´t give this movie a 11. Because you see... it is that good. It is nothing more and nothing less than perfection- if they cut a part of the moive, I would miss it. If they add anything to it, I would discard it. Acting is top-notch. Direction cannot receive comments enough to describe how good it is. The story is one of the best ever. I mean... what more could anyone want?
I am very sad a lot of people that voted for American Beauty made it look like as good as this one. I mean... we cannot compare both movies, can we? If this one drops one rank because of pityful American Beauty, i will be very sad. And I just can imagine anyone giving this one a 1. 7 at least. Not 1 or 2 or 3. People who give ratings like this to a movie such as The Godfaher must only like unimaginative amateur movies such as American Beauty. Sorry I am talking about another movie, but I just can´t imagine The Godfather loosing one rank to American Beauty.
Mission: Impossible (1996)
Fun.
CONTAINS ONE SPOILER
For those who have ever watched the old good series, get lost- this movie has absolutely anything to do with them. If you liked Jim, the IMF boss from the old series, also get lost- he's the bad guy now. But if you don't really care about matching the old series with this movie (like myself) then give this baby a try- you won't regret it.
It is a very good movie as a thriller ("WHO THE HECK IS THE BAD GUY AROUND HERE?!!", "HOW THE HECK WILL HE INFILTRATE INSIDE THE CIA BUILDING?!!", etc) and very entertaining. I also liked that chewing gum that is in reality a bomb.
I only found three problems in this movie:
1- No movement detector in a top-security CIA computer room??? Give me a break!
2- An helicopter... in a tunnel??? Too impossible to be true. You may find it ridiculous.
3- The plot is a little bad.
So I give this movie a 8/10. I think I am going to watch the Mortal-Kombat-styled Mission Impossible 2, but I doubt it is going to be better than this one. Tom Cruise fighting Kung-Fu or something? I guess he will, who knows... John Woo can really become a pain in the a**, can't he?
A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999)
One of the most beautiful movies ever.
I am so proud that I have watched this movie. The place is certainly one of the most beautiful ever. The forest, the city, the grass field... it´s all beautiful. They justify why does the movie take place in the nineteenth century instead of the fifteenth. It´s all because of the wonders of the world shown in this movie that didn't exist in Shakespeare's life. But I think that Shakespeare himself would choose this place to record the movie.
The story (just like the women in the movie) is beautiful, a classic love story that gives us a lesson of "how should a beautiful, marvelous and perfectly written story be?". The acting is satisfactory and the direction is very well done. The result? It´s a must! It makes Titanic, Notting Hill and many other love stories look just like plain dull.
My rating: Take a wild guess. 10, of course!!!
P.S.: Parents everywhere: this movies contains very, REALLY little "nudity" (well... you can see "it" only a little)and sex. But you can be sure this isn't any kind of heavy metal porn or something! It´s a must for all the kids (well... kids under 10 may not like the story)and a masterpiece of a movie.
Deep Impact (1998)
Yaaaaaaaaaaawn!
*************CONTAINS SPOILERS*******************
When I watched the TV trailer, I though I was going to like it. That huge wave, destroying New York, a comet... it sure looked cool. I didn't read the papers' comments, so I though it was some sorta action movie...
Hmmm... first of all, this movie looked like 5 hours long. I felt like I was going to sleep. Yawn! People running for that underground maze or something, people crying because they were gonna die, and stuff... everything was old. I mean... the world was going to end, but the "Oh my god, we're gonna die!" melodrama was the same as the one in Alien, the Shining and other much, much better movies. Because a comet can fall on your head, a volcano can appear in your town and dinosaurs can eat your head... but you're going to die anyway, right? And this isn't a scary movie at all, so I don't see their point.
Another point is that I don't think that NASA is going to find out that a comet is going to collide with the Earth one week before it happens. I mean... a lot of people check out the comets' speed, the comets' orbit and compare them with the Earth's speed and orbit, and then take the conclusion that the comet is going to collide with Earth... more or less... 20 years from now. But one week? Give me a break! NASA people aren't that stupid! I guess they could make the movie telling us about "How would it be if the world was going to end 20 years ago?" Beats me.
Hmmm... well, anyway, it shows (unoriginaly, but at least shows) the people's doom before the Earth's end and that New York destruction, caused by that huge wave caused by that small comet part, is cool. So I guess I give it a 3,5... 4. But I was really hoping that the movie... I mean, the Earth was going to end. It would be more fun that way. Yawn. No such luck.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Oh, babe, behave!
It's been a long time I've watched a movie this funny. Yes, it's better than the original, funnier. The sex jokes are great and some scenes, like the shadow one (the one when Felicity, the blond chick takes some stuff from a bag and it looks like she's taking them from Austin's a**) are very funny either.
The satires are also great: the one with that show when Dr. Evil's son says that "My father wants to take over the world" and everybody say "Ohhhh!" is hilarious, and "-Austin, I have to tell you something. -What is it? -I... am... your father.-No! this can not be!... For real? -No, not sure." took all my breathe.
But this movie is not perfect. Here are my main gripes:
-The Mini Me is a discusting actor. "It" really makes me sad.
-This movie has a kind of humor that older people may not find funny. I seriously recommend it to kids (13+, I mean. Younger people may not understand it and parents may not let them see all those sex jokes), teenagers that like this kind of stuff, like myself.
-A lot of stupid jokes that aren't funny for probably anyone in Earth.
-A lot of unoriginal jokes.
That's why I give it a 7. It's much better than the original, anyway.
P.S.: Hey, if you liked this movie, watch Liar Liar if you haven't yet.
Armageddon (1998)
Be prepare, dear reader, because I gonna crush this f***ing movie!!!
This is one of those movies that has absolutely NOTHING on the positive side, so all my comments will concentrate on crushing it. I think that, in good conscience, I must warn you that this is one of the worst movies ever made, and if you haven't watched it yet, avoid it at any costs!!!
My main gripe is that the camera is one of the worst I've ever seen. Sometimes I think that the camera man just thinks "F*** you, this angle is too boring! I'm gonna look at something else." And it looks like he thinks it in almost every scene! The result: the camera keeps going around and around like a crazy b*** and quickly gives you a headache!
Another one is that the cast looks like a list of bad actors that doesn't "fit" with the movie's story at all! Bruce Willis making dramatic moments p***es me off and that whatsthat Liv Tyler is a lesson of how not to act.
Also, the story is very, very ridiculous! Well... I'm sure that the whole world wouldn't take the solutions that it took when trying to save the world. C'mon! We're talking about saving our planet Earth, so sending sonovab***es like they did in the movie surely isn't a good idea!
Well... any other thing I haven't mentioned yet? Oh, yeah! Next time, NASA, try not to make propaganda telling us that the world is gonna blow up with an asteroid 30 years from now, OK? It wasn't funny.
The Mask (1994)
Stupid and ridiculous.
I can't imagine how can so many people watch this movie. Honestly, there are a lot of better comedy movies out there that make you think twice before watching this. I read in a lot of papers that this movie was a piece of garbage, so I didn't watch it in the cinema, but I've watched it today in a friend's pad because there was nothing else to do.
Yeah, this movie is a waste of time. Not that it's as bad as the papers said but with so many better movies out there why would you watch this one? I mean... it's not funny, the special effects are a pain in the a** and the story, like in all other comedies of the 90's is garbage.
The Mask's facial expressions are too artificial and his jokes are old and unoriginal. It's not violent like the comics and make the original Mask look like a goofy... probably because Jim Carrey casts him. Or maybe because his jokes are very, really childish.
Hmmm... well, these are all my gripes. On the positive side, very, really few scenes are funny and the final scene was cool. But that's all. I guess that young children may find this movie funny anyway, so I give it a 4. See, I'm Bloody John but I'm generous!
Spawn (1997)
Mac Farlane, you disappointed me
It was a Friday, and I was very happy, because I was going to watch a movie starring my favorite super hero: Spawn! Spawn!!! I loved the comics, so I was sure I was going to love it!
I went into the cinema, bought some popcorn and coke, sat in the first row and waited. I was very anxious: I had waited for four months for that moment. So the movie began. Al Simmons! "Hey, fellows, that's Spawn, but he's not dead yet!" I told my pals.
But after 30 minutes... Damn! I was horrified... because it looked like if the actors, Mac Farlane and the director weren't taking the story seriously. It had nothing to do with the comics', and it was terribly different... and terribly told. The actors... all of them were terrible (they told me John Leguizamo was funny. Well... I didn't smile at him).
The only good things in this movie are the special effects (more exactly, Spawn's cape) and that scene where Spawn chases the Clown. But that's all. It's not worth the ticket price.
My rating: 4. 2 because of the cape and the chase scene. 1 because Spawn's powers are cool and 1... because at least they tried.
The Day of the Jackal (1973)
Much, MUCH better than the Bruce Willis version
I've watched this movie yesterday and... man. I didn't think it was so good.
Edward Fox and Tony shine in this movie. They make Bruce Willis and Richard Gere from the new movie look ridiculous. There are many other good actors in this movie as well, like Michel.
The story isn't excellent, but it's very well told and the Jackal's ways of cheating the police are very smart. I thought that Jackal's death was a little disappointing, but that doesn't mess up with the movie's quality.
My rating: 10. Don't watch The Jackal from 1997, it's terrible!
The Pass (1998)
Terrible
I can't see this movie's point. I mean... the story is terrible, the acting ridiculous and the direction very, very lame. So I can't see how did the writer and director wanted to convince us that this movie was good. If they tried to make something scary they failed
My Rating: As I can't give it a 0 I give it a 1.
Starship Troopers (1997)
Stupid goddamn mother-f***ing movie
Say... I read in my newspaper that this movie was bloody and fun. My nick, as you see, is BLDJ (Bloody John) so I went to the cinema to watch something fun and hey... was it bad luck?
Well... this movie is so stupid it should be rated to people under 5 because only them would take this s*** seriously, or people who have never watched a movie before. "Hey, if Starship Troopers is the only movie you've ever seen, what is the best movie you've ever seen???" Duh.
Terrible acting, really, REALLY stupid story, annoying camera and ridiculously used special effects. Want to see a better goofy movie? Watch Van Damme. It's better (not that it's good, of course.)
MY RATING:1
West Side Story (1961)
The best by far
This is BLDJ's father, and I must say that West Side Story, though it may be not the best movie ever, is definitely the movie I have enjoyed most as an aesthetic experience when I first saw it in 196...3 I believe, and resists as a smashing experience as a musical as well as sensitive drama, one of these rare occasions when most of the talents involved (with the unfortunate and never-so-lamented exception of Richard Whatsthat Beymer) can be counted amongst the top, and contribute to a superb production, from Bernstein's music to Chakiris' and Natalie Woods' and Tamblyn's acting and dancing, not ever forgetting the inspired and trend setting choreography and camera movements by Jerome Robbins. A smash.
My rating: 10!