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ShadowyMan
Reviews
Cuckoo (2024)
What happened to the dog?
The question above pretty much sums up the chaotic, incoherent mess that is Cuckoo.
If you've been watching genre movies from the past decade or so, Cuckoo adds nothing really novel to the mix. The possible exception is the primary creature (seen in the trailer) who looks likes some kind of annoying American tourist in Paris played by a deranged Meryl Streep wannabe. But that's pretty much it.
This movie not only is a patchwork of other films, but it's also a mess in general. Characters get introduced (like the dog) and then are promptly forgotten.
Entire scenes (they don't deserve to be called subplots) are created which don't advance the plot, only occasional add exposition and could otherwise have been left on the cutting room floor.
Decent actors don't even have the time to be carboard cut-out characters or predictable archetypes.
Cheap jump scares, ominous music and really, really loud sound effects are added like punctuation marks in an attempt to disturb the viewer, but all they do is just annoy.
There are some good points in the film.
Dan Stevens totally shines and chews enough scenery to cover for the nonsensical dialog that he had to cough up. More of him, please. I also thought the makeup department did quite well too - the injuries looked real, and they made the best of a no doubt limited budget.
But if you are looking for a great creature-feature, or any other form of genre movie, move along. There's nothing new to see here.
Old (2021)
A Twilight Zone Episode at Best
An interesting concept stretched into two hours of painful, boring dialogue.
Decent actors, with zero chemistry, are forced to plod through this vacuous mess like they were stoned on ludes. Any attempt to create suspense or drama was further undermined by the really odd camera angles and editing. And, for a VFX-heavy film, any effects seemed to have arrived via time-warp from the original Star Trek series.
I have no idea how the director/writer continues to get production money, but I think he needs to give it a rest. He seems to make a credible van driver, so maybe Uber is his true calling.
TLDR; The poster and the cocktails are the best things about this clunker.
Silo (2023)
A Solid Sci-Fi Thriller / Mystery
I wasn't sure what to expect from this series adapted from an existing book, but was mostly pleasantly surprised.
A great cast of actors (Tim Robbins!) some of who rotate in and out of the story very fast (David Oyelowo) which serves to keep things fresh as the mystery unravels. That said, there is some bagginess and overwriting here.
Tanya Moody is wasted in what is effectively a walk-on role as Judge Meadows. The plot would have been better served if her name was simply invoked as the ultimate boogeyman - said but never seen. A total waste of screen time.
Also, Avi Nash got a raw deal in the plot around his character Lukas Kyle. Why they needed to try and invent a love story or how the confrontations with Bernard Holland added any value to the plot, other than amplifying his sinister nature, is beyond me. One or two screens discussing the "lights in the sky" with Sheriff would have been enough to connect the dots (pun intended).
Will I watch Season Two? More than likely.
I mean, "IT rules the World"? For me, that's the ultimate dystopia!
Plane (2023)
A Solid B-Movie Timewaster
Okay, like a lot of these kind of movies, you need to be willing to check your brain at the door.
But once you do, there's a certain pleasure to see Butler looking world-weary, a bit battered and reluctantly violent in what is effectively a chase movie in the jungle and in the air.
Pluses for me was the tight plot, that keeps moving right along, and the one really good hand to hand fight scene that actually looked like a real knock-down fight instead of some choregraphed martial arts ballet. The grime, sweat and blood seem well earned.
The colorful cast of supporting character actors was a collection of "that guy" and unknowns, who did the most with few minutes of screen time they had.
The big minus was the whole teen daughter subplot which, other than advancing the plot at a key point, looked totally tacked on.
This won't win any awards, and is instantly forgetable, but like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, it can be totally satisfying if you are in the right mood.
Basic Instinct 2 (2006)
Working Title: Basic "It Stinked" Too
This movie is so bad it is almost good. Almost. But the humor potential is quickly eroded by the paper-thin and highly telegraphed plot.
The first tip-off that this thing might be a dog is during the opening credits when its says that the screenplay is based on characters created by Joe Eszterhas. Yes, the same overpaid "B" writer who brought us such fine cinema as Flashdance, Sliver, Showgirls and Jade. I guess the producers couldn't afford him so they went with two"C" writers instead.
Now, if I could just figure out what the heck a good actor like David Morrissey is doing in this film...