A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV Series)

Carnivorous Carnival: Part 1 (2018)

Lucy Punch: Esmé Squalor

Quotes 

• Esmé Squalor : If she's so good at fortune-telling, why does she live out here in the Hinterlands instead of having her own television show in the city?

  Count Olaf : I tried that for nine years. Look where it got me.

• Esmé Squalor : I don't like how she looks at you!

  Count Olaf : Darling, when I was on stage, or occasionally in several minimum security penitentiaries, strange women would offer me things all the time. Flowers, tasteful photographs, marriage proposals. And some of them were wealthy women. Rich dowagers enchanted by my roguish charm, with no head for estate planning whatsoever. And did I accept? That's not the point.

• Esmé Squalor : I always thought crystal balls were as fake as those eyelashes.

  Librarian : No, no, no, they are as real as the jewels on your teeny-tiny engagement ring.