Michelle Yeoh: Evelyn Wang

Everything Everywhere All at Once

Evelyn Wang

Evelyn Wang: You are not unlovable. There is always something to love. Even in a stupid, stupid universe where we have hot dogs for fingers, we get very good with our feet.

Joy Wang: Mom, just stop! Good for you. You're figuring your shit out. And that's great. I'm really, really happy for you. But I'm tired. I don't want to hurt anymore. And for some reason when I'm with you, it just hurts the both of us. So let's just go our separate ways, ok? Just let me go!
Evelyn Wang: Ok.
[pause]
Evelyn Wang: Wait. You are getting fat. And you never call me even though we have a family plan. And it's free. You only visit when you need something. And you got a tattoo and I don't care if it's supposed to represent our family. You know I hate tattoos. And of all the places I could be, why would I want to be here with you? Yes, you're right. It doesn't make sense.
Waymond Wang: Evelyn, stop. That's enough!
Joy Wang: Let her finish!
Evelyn Wang: Maybe it's like you said. Maybe there is something out there, some new discovery that will make us feel like even smaller pieces of shit. Something that explains why you still went looking for me through all of this noise. And why, no matter what, I still want to be here with you. I will always, always, want to be here with you.
[Joy starts crying]
Joy Wang: So what? You're just gonna ignore everything else? You could be anything, anywhere. Why not go somewhere where your daughter is more than just this? Here, all we get are a few specks of time where any of this actually makes any sense.
Evelyn Wang: Then I will cherish these few specks of time.
[Evelyn and Joy embrace]

Alpha Waymond: I've seen thousands of Evelyns, but never a Evelyn like you. You have so many goals you never finished. Dreams you never followed. You are living your worst you.
Evelyn Wang: I cannot be the worst. What about that hot dog one?
Alpha Waymond: No. Everyone here agrees. This one's worse. Can't you see? Every failure here, branched off into a success for another Evelyn in another life. Most people only have a few significant alternate life paths so close to them. But you, here... you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything.

[after verse-jumping for the first time]
Evelyn Wang: [to Alpha Waymond] I saw my life... without you... I wish you could have seen it... it was beautiful.

Chad: [crying] You took everything away from me!
Evelyn Wang: I'm sorry.
Chad: Raccacoonie taught me so much! I... I didn't even know... how to boil an egg! He taught me how to spin it on a spatula! I'm useless alone.
Evelyn Wang: We're all useless alone. It's a good thing you're not alone.
[Evelyn climbs onto Chad's shoulders and pulls his hair]
Evelyn Wang: Let's go rescue your silly raccoon.

Waymond Wang: I wanted to start off the new year on a new foot. But, maybe you're right. Maybe we would have been better off, if we had never gotten married.
Evelyn Wang: I never said that.
Waymond Wang: You didn't have to. It's the way you look at me.

Evelyn Wang: There is no way I am the Evelyn you are looking for.
Alpha Waymond: No, I see it so clearly.
Evelyn Wang: See what? I'm no good at anything.
Alpha Waymond: Exactly. I've seen thousands of Evelyns, but never an Evelyn like you. You have so many goals you never finished, dreams you never followed. You're living your worst you.
Evelyn Wang: I cannot be the worst. What about the hot dog one?
Alpha Waymond: No. Can't you see? Every failure here branched off into a success for another Evelyn in another life. Most people only have a few significant alternate life paths so close to them. But you, here, you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything.

Evelyn Wang: What did my silly husband say to you?
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: He told me about your situation. I remember when my husband served me papers. I drove his Kia Forte through my neighbor's kitchen. But you know what I say? It's cold, unlovable bitches like us that make the world go round.
Evelyn Wang: That's not true. You're not unlovable.

Deirdre Beaubeirdra: Mrs. Wang? Mrs. Wang? Hello? Look, I'm sure you have a lot on your mind, but I cannot imagine anything mattering more than the conversation we are now having concerning your tax liability. Need I remind you that there is already a lien on your property? Repossession is well within our rights.
Evelyn Wang: I know. I am paying attention.
[Deirdre gestures behind her to some very suggestively-looking trophies behind her with her name on them]
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: Do you see these? You don't get one of these unless you've seen a lot of bullshit. Excuse my French. Now you may only see a pile of boring forms and numbers, but I see a story. With nothing but a stack of receipts, I can trace the ups and downs of your lives. And it does not look good. It. Does. Not. Look Good.
Waymond Wang: Sorry, my wife confuses her hobbies for businesses! An honest mistake.
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: Oh. Okay. Well, with all of these "honest mistakes", I mean, even if we don't charge you with fraud, we'll most certainly have to fine you for gross negligence.

Alpha Waymond: You can either come with me and live up to your ultimate potential, or lie here and live with the consequences.
Evelyn Wang: I want to lie here.

Evelyn Wang: [struggling with legal predicament] I can't talk right now. Unless you can help me with my taxes. What is "gross necklaces"?

[Alpha-Gong Gong from an alternate universe hands the main universe's Evelyn a knife]
Gong Gong: [about Jobu Topaki] Quickly, while she is distracted.
Evelyn Wang: No.
Gong Gong: It's only protocol. It gives her one less universe to access. How do you expect to defeat her in every universe if you can't even kill her in one.
Evelyn Wang: She's your granddaughter.
Gong Gong: [sadly] How do you think I feel? But it is a sacrifice necessary to win the war.

[in the middle of the tax meeting]
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: Mrs. Wang? Mrs. Wang, are you with us?
Evelyn Wang: Yes. Of course. I am here. Just... thinking.
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: Oh, okay. Well, I was just hoping that you could explain this.
[Deidre places a receipt on the table. Evelyn looks at it]
Evelyn Wang: This is a receipt. My receipt.
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: Look, I... I was just hoping that you could enlighten me as to how, as a laundromat owner, a *karaoke machine* could constitute a business expense.
Evelyn Wang: [meekly] I am a singer.
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: [sighs] Of course you are.
Waymond Wang: It's true. She has a beautiful voice! Oh! Evelyn, sing a song for her.
Evelyn Wang: Shh!
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: No, no, please. That will not be necessary. But I will need a separate Schedule C for each of these businesses because based on what you're trying to deduct...
[Deirdre shuffles through a pile of forms, referencing them at random]
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: ...you're also a novelist and a chef, a teacher, a singing coach, and a "Watsu" technician. I'm sorry, what... what is "Watsu"?
Waymond Wang: It's a water massage.
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: What's a water massage?
Waymond Wang: Like for back pain. You go get a water massage.
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: Oh, you go?
Waymond Wang: Yes.