That's Entertainment III/3 Ninjas Kick Back/Being Human/Dream Lover/Kika

Roger Ebert - Host: "3 Ninjas Kick Back" is a good-natured movie that seems made out of the spare parts of "Home Alone", "Bad News Bears", and maybe even some leftover "Ninja Turtles". The plot is not original, the action is less than inspired, and the comedy tends to jokes about baseball players passing gas while they're running around the bases, and of course, everybody faints, and that's supposed to be hilarious. I also thought this movie was over about ten minutes before it finally ended. I can't recommend it, but I probably ought to say that younger children might find it entertaining.

Gene Siskel - Host: Dim-witted younger children.

Roger Ebert - Host: Oh now, don't say that, Gene.

Gene Siskel - Host: Yes, I wanna be, I want to be the cruel one.

Roger Ebert - Host: At a certain age, younger children are just younger children. You don't have to insult their intelligence.

Gene Siskel - Host: No, at a younger age, certain kids will sit there if their parents take them to a brainless piece of entertainment. This is not quality, and I don't want you suggesting that people might like it. I think that they, you know, I actually liked the first "3 Ninjas" movie, and I think, if parents have their kids who want to see this picture, I'd say "Rent the first one", don't take them to this. It's really quite bad.

Roger Ebert - Host: Oh Gene, y-you're doing a great job of setting yourself up as the great and noble defender of childhood entertainment...

Gene Siskel - Host: Yes, I am.

Roger Ebert - Host: ...But the fact is, kids are kids, and this is a kid's movie.

Gene Siskel - Host: I think that kids ought to have...

Roger Ebert - Host: It has baseball in it...

Gene Siskel - Host: Oh come on, Roger.

Roger Ebert - Host: And it has pratfalls.

Gene Siskel - Host: Bad baseball. There isn't a funny baseball moment- you just dumped on the picture; why soften it? Who are YOU championing? The filmmakers?

Roger Ebert - Host: I'm trying to put out a little bit of information that might be of useful to some kid out there that MIGHT enjoy this film!

Gene Siskel - Host: Yeah, it's lousy, but Uncle Rog' says, "You might like it." There ya go. Who are YOU a friend of?

Roger Ebert - Host: [to camera] Coming up next...

[back to Gene]

Roger Ebert - Host: I'm a friend... of the... trusting film-goer, Gene.