- Teddy: Can't you just wave your hand, and like, Jedi mindtrick the cops?
- Santa Claus: I'm Santa Claus, Teddy, not Yoda.
- Santa Claus: My hat! My hat's gone!
- Kate: Do you want mine?
- Santa Claus: Oh, that won't help. Your hat's not magic.
- Kate: Magic?
- Santa Claus: Well, how d'ya think I can turn into coal dust and leap from rooftop to rooftop?
- Kate: Pilates?
- Santa Claus: My hat!
- [last lines]
- Mrs. Claus: Do you wanna watch a movie? It's a Wonderful Life? White Christmas? The Grinch!
- Santa Claus: Well, actually... I had something else in mind.
- [pulls out the camcorder tape from the evening]
- Santa Claus: Something really cool.
- Mrs. Claus: The whole village is buzzing. Something about a car chase and a jailbreak?
- Santa Claus: Oh, you know, the elves exaggerate. They get excited at the drop of a hat.
- Mrs. Claus: Especially when it's yours.