Mighty Med (TV Series)

Saving the People Who Save People (2013)

Carlos Lacamara: Dr. Horace Diaz

Photos 

Quotes 

• [the Mighty Med guards bring Kaz and Oliver to a dark room] 

  Kaz : Take it easy! My mom just ironed this shirt!

  Oliver : What do you think they're gonna do to us?

  Kaz : [sees an electronic sign over the doors]  It says "Now you die"!

  Oliver : Do you think they mean you or me?

  Kaz : Well, it says "you".

  Unknown : [offscreen and distorted]  Silence! You have trespassed in my hospital, and for that, the punishment is...

  Dr. Horace Diaz : [enters from door]  Alan?

  Oliver : The punishment is Alan!

  Dr. Horace Diaz : [turns on the lights]  Stupid sign.

  [he jostles it with his hand, and more letters light up on the sign, turning "now you die" into "know your diet facts"] 

• Dr. Horace Diaz : I'm Dr. Horace Diaz, head of this hospital. Who are you and what can you do?

  Kaz : Well, I'm Kaz, and I

  [takes a napkin] 

  Kaz : can do this.

  [he puts the napkin on his face and pushes his tongue through it] 

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Anybody can do that. I meant what are your powers?

  Kaz : Oh, we don't have any powers.

  Alan Diaz : What? You're normos? Normos can't know about Mighty Med! I'm gonna go get a normo cage.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Not so fast

  [freezes Alan in time] 

• Dr. Horace Diaz : The Crusher is one of our most important heroes and you saved his life. How did you know that his heart wasn't in his chest?

  Oliver : Uh, well, I thought that the super-gravity on Ebrion might have pulled his heart down to his feet.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Very clever. You figured that out faster than our best doctors, even Dr. Brainhead, and his entire head is a brain!

  Oliver : Yeah, we pretty much eat, drink, and breathe superheroes.

  Kaz : Mm-hmm.

  Oliver : Literally. This morning I had a bowl of Honey Nut Blue Tornado-O's.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : A true fan. Love this guy! We might be able to use someone like you around here.

  [muffled grunting] 

  Kaz : What's that noise?

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Oh, right. Alan.

  [unfreezes Alan] 

  Alan Diaz : We can't have normos here! I heard that if you touch them, your butt falls off!

  Dr. Horace Diaz : That's not true!

  [to Oliver] 

  Dr. Horace Diaz : That's not true, is it?

  Oliver : Um, no.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Good, because, without a butt, what would I shake on the dance floor?

• Kaz : Okay, so, if superheroes are real, and out there saving the world, how come we never see you guys?

  Dr. Horace Diaz : It's a combination of things. Sometimes we erase the memories of normos who witness our heroics. Usually we don't need to because most of you are looking down at your phones all the time.

  Kaz : [looking at phone]  I'm sorry, what?

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Plus, some of us are invisible, and sometimes we do things so fast, you don't even see it, like how you and I just switched outfits.

  [Kaz looks down and sees he is wearing the same clothes as before] 

  Kaz : No, we didn't.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Or did we?

  [he holds up a picture of Kaz wearing Horace's clothes and Horace wearing Kaz's clothes] 

• Oliver : But i-if you guys act in secret, then why are there superhero comicbooks and graphic novels?

  Dr. Horace Diaz : We chronicle our adventures and sell them to the public to finance this hospital, the League of Heroes, and the Bowling League of Heroes. Here are your mm-200 communicators.

  [pulls out two tiny devices] 

  Dr. Horace Diaz : I'll contact you when I need you.

  Kaz : Ooh, look at the size of these things.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : I know. Sorry they're so bulky. The mm-200 S will be much smaller and have new, funky ringtones.

  [he leaves] 

  Kaz : Yeah, look at all this cool stuff. Ooh, I wonder what this is. Some kind of, like, high tech memory restorer?

  [he puts a metal pan on his head] 

  Oliver : That's a bedpan.

  [Kaz drops the pan in disgust] 

• [Horace has just finished saying that Mighty Med could use someone like Oliver] 

  Oliver : So, you want us to work here?

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Not us. You. Your friend there seems a bit... off.

  [Kaz presses a button on a wrist-mounted device, turning his hand into a chainsaw. He quickly puts it back] 

  Kaz : That was... awesome!

  Dr. Horace Diaz : I think he just proved my point.

  [to Oliver] 

  Dr. Horace Diaz : You... with me.

  [to Kaz] 

  Dr. Horace Diaz : You... do you happen to know if you take a small or a medium normo cage?

  Kaz : Whoa, whoa, whoa. I wanna work here too. I know just as much about superheroes as he does. Right, Oliver? Back me up.

  Oliver : Yeah, Kaz is great, and we kinda come as a package deal.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Okay, I'll give you boys a trial run.

  Oliver : Yes! We get to work with real superheroes!

  Kaz : Yeah, man, I can't wait to tell Gus and Jordan about this place.

  Alan Diaz : Are you crazy? You can't tell anyone about Mighty Med. It's a top-secret hospital.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Alan, stop interrupting. Are you crazy? You can't tell anyone about Mighty Med. It's a top-secret hospital.

  [to Oliver] 

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Another thing: If your friend here messes up, I'm holding you responsible.

  [he leaves] 

  Oliver : Hear that? No goofing around. Do not Kaz this up for me.

  Kaz : Absolutely. Hmm, I wonder what this button does.

  [he pushes a button on the wrist-mounted device] 

  Kaz : Hmm. Nothing.

  [a giant circular saw blade appears in front of Oliver] 

  Oliver : Not nothing!

  [Kaz turns it off] 

• Dr. Horace Diaz : Skylar, I've got your test results.

  Skylar Storm : So I'm good? Because I'm all ready to fly back to my planet. I just need to stretch, because it's, like, a 700-million-mile flight.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Please, sit down. How can I put this? Life is a winding road, and every superhero experiences a series of triumphs.

  Alan Diaz : You're not getting your powers back! You're basically just a normo, normo!

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Alan! Why would you say that to her?

  Skylar Storm : I was worried there for a second. So, that's not true?

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Oh, it's true. I just wouldn't have said it like that.

  Skylar Storm : It's hopeless?

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Nobody's saying it's hopeless.

  Alan Diaz : I am.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Skylar, right now, we simply don't know how to restore your powers. Someday we might, but not now. I'm sorry.

• Skylar Storm : There you are. You need to see this.

  Benny : Again with the videos of you doing backflips? We get it. You're flexible.

  Skylar Storm : Hey, that video has 56 likes.

  Benny : And one dislike.

  [points at himself] 

  Skylar Storm : That's not what I need to show you!

  [turns on a TV] 

  Newscaster : [on TV]  Superhero news network has just learned that two normos are now working at Mighty Med hospital. The normos performed an unauthorized surgery on Tecton, who is now very, very weak. This, according to our source, a young man who was clearly disguising his voice by speaking into a coffee mug.

  Alan Diaz : [quickly turns off the TV]  Well, that's enough of that.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Alan, do you realize what you've done? Now Megahertz knows that Tecton is here and weak! You are in big trouble! Big trouble!

  Alan Diaz : Oh, come on. What are the odds Megahertz was watching at that exact moment?

  Megahertz : [offscreen]  Where is he? Where is Tecton?

  Kaz : I'd say 100%

• [Tecton is dying, causing small earthquakes] 

  Dr. Horace Diaz : We have to save him! If he dies, no one will be able to stop Megahertz and he'll continue his reign of terror!

  Kaz : I-I can't let Tecton die. We have to do something!

  Oliver : Oh... something's interfering with his ability to heal, so, quick, think of everything you know about Tecton starting with is very first comicbook!

  Kaz : Okay. The Adventures of Tecton, issue one, copyright 1975.

  Oliver : Oh my gosh, flip ahead!

  Kaz : Okay, uh... uh... he gets his powers from the delta radiation which emanates from the meteorite in his chest!

  Oliver : ANd his only weakness is gargulon gas, but... it doesn't exist on Earth in its natural form.

  Kaz : Well, gargulon gas is formed when...

  Kaz , Oliver : ...delta radiation reacts with gold!

  Kaz : Okay, then there must be gold inside of him! Okay. I'm going in.

  [Kaz puts his hand in Tecton's wound] 

  Kaz : Ugh. Icky. Gross. Ah.. Got it.

  [pulls out an object covered in blue guts] 

  Oliver : Gold coin... covered in guts. Must've gotten in there when he stopped Megahertz from robbing that bank!

  Dr. Horace Diaz : He's starting to heal. Well done, gentlemen! You were right! You do make a great team!

  Alan Diaz : What? B-but they broke the rules!

  Dr. Horace Diaz : And then they saved the day, so I'm totally gonna ignore the first part. To celebrate the real heroes of this hospital, nurse, get the limbo stick.

• [Megahertz has broken into Mighty Med to fight a wounded Tecton] 

  Oliver : Megahertz is gonna fight Tecton! We've got to do something!

  Kaz : What? We don't have any powers.

  Skylar Storm : Neither do I, but I can still do this. Hey, Megahertz

  [Megahertz looks in her direction] 

  Skylar Storm : There's a storm coming. Skylar Storm.

  Oliver : That's my boo.

  [Skylar starts fighting Megahertz and Horace attempts to use a superpower] 

  Dr. Horace Diaz : I can't freeze him. His electrical field is blocking my powers.

  Oliver : Kaz, Skylar can't hold him off for long! We've got to create a diversion! It's time for you to do what you do best.

  Kaz : Get on people's nerves?

  Oliver : Exactly.

• Dr. Horace Diaz : So, how do you like your new scrubs?

  Kaz : We're not in scrubs.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : You were.

  [holds up a picture of a bridge] 

  Oliver : Mmm.. that's a picture of a bridge.

  Oliver : Huh. I love bridges!

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Say... say "we're not in scrubs" again.

  Kaz : We're not in scrubs.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : You were.

  [holds up a picture of Kaz and Oliver in scrubs] 

• Dr. Horace Diaz : Splendid work today. Splendid! I'll see you boys tomorrow after school.

  Alan Diaz : What? But what about the newscast? Everyone knows we have normal here.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : I don't care. Let the whole world know they work here.

  [to Kaz and Oliver] 

  Dr. Horace Diaz : Remember, you can't tell anyone you work here.

  Alan Diaz : [jumping aggressively]  This is not fair! This is not...

  Dr. Horace Diaz : [freezes Alan in time]  Now, let's go down to accounting and get you paid.

  Oliver : Paid? Are you kidding? I would totally work here for nothing.

  Kaz : He meant nothing less than a million dollars a week.

  [Horace looks disapproving] 

  Kaz : A thousand dollars a week.

  [Horace looks disapproving] 

  Kaz : A hundred dollars a week.

  Dr. Horace Diaz : I was gonna give you two hundred, but a hundred it is.