- Pops: This is uh, Puffball, Squash-Face, Weiner Dog, Yellow Bird, Eagle-Eye, Guinea Pig Joe. And, of course my, girlfriend Rhonda.
- Chloe: Max, Come on, I'm your friend. Okay? And as your friend, I gotta be honest with you. I don't care about you or your problems.
- Pops: Now, if we take the human route, getting there is gonna take days. You may have lots of time, but for me every breath is a cliffhanger.
- Tiberius: Okay. He's too stupid to talk and too ugly to eat.
- Gidget: [screams and tackles Ozone to the ground] I'm done playing nice! Where is Max?
- Ozone: What? I-I...
- Gidget: [Gidget slaps Ozone] Tell me!
- [slaps him again]
- Ozone: Well I... I can't.
- [gets slapped again]
- Ozone: Let me finish.
- [and slapped again]
- Ozone: Ow! Help me!
- [and slapped again]
- Gidget: Don't look at him!
- [slaps Ozone again]
- Gidget: Look at me! Nobody can help you! Where is *Max*?
- Chloe: Because she's a dog person, Max. And dog people do weird, inexplicable things. Like... they get dogs instead of cats.
- Snowball: Who are we? *Who* are *we*? We are the Flushed Pets. Thrown away by our owners and now we are out for revenge! It's like a club, but with biting and scratching.
- Max: Maybe the legend of dogs coming from wolves is jus... is just wrong. Maybe, like, maybe one puppy asked his mom, "Where did we come from?" And the mom said "Woof." And the kid was like, "Oh wolves?" And she was like, "Yeah, fine."
- Mel: I will never eat a pill like that again. Unless it's covered in peanut butter. Because, I mean, come on! Right? It's peanut butter!
- Max: [after Duke accidentally causes a vase to crash to the floor] Oh, Duke. Duke, Katie is not... Katie's gonna be so upset when she sees that... Katie's... gonna flip out...
- [looks around mischievously]
- Max: ... when she sees how... you trashed her whole place.
- Duke: Oh, it's just...
- [scratches behind ear]
- Duke: It's just one vase.
- Max: Is it, Duke? Is it?
- [Kicks a vase off a table]
- Max: Oh that's a shame.
- [pushes a bunch of papers onto the ground]
- Duke: What are you doing?
- Max: Whoa, what am I doing? Nothing. I'm a cute little doggy. Katie knows I'd never do anything like this
- [pushes a table making it start to tip over]
- Duke: No, no. Whoa!
- [runs and manages to keep the table from falling over]
- Max: This can only be the work of...
- [pushes some books off a shelf]
- Max: ... a dangerous stray, Who hasn't laid down a foundation of trust.
- [walks along a counter-top, knocking things over]
- Max: You're the new dog. And, hey Duke, what'd you go and do this for?
- [pushes a bowl of fruit to the ground]
- Duke: Oh! I'm gonna...
- Max: What? Bite me? Rip my face off? Perfect. Wait till Katie finds out.
- [imitates an injured dog]
- Max: Oh! Help, Katie! Thank goodness you're here! I tried to stop him, but he's crazy!
- [first lines]
- Max: [narrating] I've lived in this city all my life. I'm Max. And I'm the luckiest dog in New York because of her. That's Katie. Katie and I, well, we have the perfect relationship. We met a few years ago and, boy, let me tell ya', we got along right away. You know, it was one of those relationships where... where you just know.
- Snowball: [after the Viper has been killed] You squished the Sacred Viper?
- [Begins to weep]
- Snowball: He's a flat-jack! Oh Viper! Viper you in a better place! You with Ricky! You ain't never did nothin' to nobody! Well, you bit a lot of people Viper, so technically, you might actually deserve this, this might be something that's long overdue. But... it shouldn't have came like this! Not on my watch!
- Max: Hey, uh, Gidget, wait up.
- Gidget: Oh, uh, hi, Max.
- [her tail starts wagging]
- Max: Yeah, uh...
- Gidget: [to her tail] Play it cool!
- [Her tail stops wagging, and she giggles]
- Max: Yeah, I just wanted to, uh...
- [clears throat]
- Max: Look. Have you ever lived across from someone your whole life, but you don't really appreciate them until... I don't know, until they're beating up dozens of animals on the Brooklyn Bridge? I guess, what I'm trying to say is... if you ever want to...
- [Gidget wags her tail, and her eyes lighten up. Then she barks and happily hops onto Max and starts licking him and nuzzling him]
- Max: Okay!
- Pops: Oh, great, you're in love! How gross for everyone! Now, move it!
- Snowball: [to snakes guarding the entrance] The new password is "Don't ask the leader for the password!"
- [the snakes eyes turn green and they smile]
- Gidget: [climbs up through the drawers and shelves of a cabinet] Friends, I am afraid that I have some terrible news.
- Mel: The squirrels are gonna take over the world, I knew it! I always said, squirrels are little shifty little guys.
- Gidget: No, we're not doing the squirrel thing right now, that's not, no!
- [sighs]
- Gidget: Max is missing! He's out there somewhere. Lost. Scared. So, so handsome. We've got to find him and bring him home!
- Mel: But the outside world is loud and scary, whoa! Is that a hawk?
- Gidget: This is my friend, Tiberius. He's going to help us.
- [Tiberius flies next to Gidget]
- Gidget: He's not going to eat us. We've already been over it.
- Buddy: Come on, Gidget. We go out there without a leash, we'll get caught by a net... or something worse.
- Mel: Yeah, like a hawk!
- Gidget: We're wasting time. Max need us.
- Buddy: Come on, girl. Max doesn't even know you're alive.
- Gidget: Well, I don't care. I love him! I love him with all of my heart! And I'm gonna go look for Max, no matter who's with me. So... Who's with me? All right, fine. Fine.
- [Gidget is watching La Pasión de la Pasión on TV]
- Maria: [Bursting into a room with much flouncing] Why? Why?
- Gidget: What's the matter, Maria?
- Fernando: Maria! Your face! It wears a thousand sorrows! What is wrong?
- Maria: [More flouncing] Oh, I have come face to face with the worst thing in the world!
- Gidget: [Getting really into it] What? Oh, tell me Maria! Tell me now! I CANNOT BEAR ANOTHER MOMENT WITHOUT KNOWING!
- Maria: [Yet more flouncing] Loneliness!
- [Fernardo gasps, then Gidget gasps]
- Duke: [angry, after he barked at the family] Why did you bring me here, Max?
- Max: Wait a minute. This is my fault? I was trying to help you!
- Duke: You were trying to get rid of me!
- Max: You know what, Duke? I don't need this. I'll see you later.
- [Max suddenly gets captured by the animal control, Duke saves him]
- Duke: GO HOME, MAX!
- [Duke gets put into the animal control truck, Max chases]