- Keith Michaels: Dr. Lerner, you must have an opinion on this?
- Dr. Lerner: Hah! I have a wife and four daughters; I have no opinions.
- Holly Carpenter: As long as you're alive, you can forgive and be forgiven. Once you're dead, it gets significantly harder. That's from Paradise Misplaced. My favorite movie. One of them anyway. Top five. Definitely top ten. Keith: I'm very worried about your taste. Holly: Top twenty.
- Holly Carpenter: Hey! I'm driving you home.
- Keith Michaels: Wow. This is a full service restaurant.
- Holly Carpenter: Well, you had two glasses and you had two at the bar. And if you die I don't get to take your course and it's gonna screw up my whole schedule.
- Keith Michaels: What about my car?
- Holly Carpenter: It's a Hyundai. It'll be there in the morning.
- Jim: When I was younger, I thought having the perfect Shakespeare quote for every situation would make me beloved.
- Keith Michaels: It's surprisingly unhelpful.
- Jim: Yeah, it seems to really annoy people.
- Andrea Stein-Rosen: I don't think I go that deep. That's what everybody keeps telling me, anyways
- Keith Michaels: Well, let's prove everybody wrong.
- Clara Foss: Clara Foss, fellow writer, resident poet. Welcome aboard.
- Keith Michaels: Well, that didn't rhyme at all. I doubt your credentials.
- Keith Michaels: The problem is with the daughter; she's sort of a paper-thin, you know? She's a good daughter, she's a good student, there's no flaws, nothing needs to be fixed.
- Karen Gabney: So? The father needs to be fixed.
- Keith Michaels: Which is what makes him an interesting character. And in reaction to that I think that maybe the daughter should be, uh...
- [stammers]
- Keith Michaels: libidinous, spoiled, sexually manipulative, you know, more like...
- [stammers]
- Keith Michaels: so many interesting characters.
- Karen Gabney: Like me? You were going to say me.
- Keith Michaels: Not at all.
- Karen Gabney: You were looking right at me.
- Keith Michaels: Thanks for being so understanding tonight about Karen. It's not what it seems.
- Holly Carpenter: Seems... like you're sleeping with her.
- Keith Michaels: Then it is what it seems.
- Keith Michaels: [on phone] I'm in Binghamton. What trouble could I get into?
- [sees Karen approaching]
- Keith Michaels: Oh, hang on! I think I just discovered how the rhetorical question was invented.
- Professor Weldon: Perhaps you'd like to kick mine.
- Keith Michaels: No, don't be silly. I didn't mean literally. Besides, not much of a target there,
- [laughs]
- Keith Michaels: which I mean in a very nice way
- [reaches out and touches Weldon's right butt-cheek]
- Keith Michaels: .