The Middle (TV Series)

Heck's Best Thing (2011)

Patricia Heaton: Frankie Heck

Quotes 

• Mike Heck : Hey, buddy, how's it going?

  Frankie Heck : Mind if we chat a minute?

  Axl Heck : Oh no. No, go away. I don't need you. Don't worry about the interview. I got it covered.

  Frankie Heck : Do you, Axl? This is huge. Now this recruiter is not just looking at football. He's going to be looking to see whether you're the kind of kid they want at their school.

  Axl Heck : Duh. I know how to behave in situations.

  Mike Heck : Oh yeah? You once stuck gum to the side of a casket at a funeral. You're not allowed to "duh" us.

• Frankie Heck : You know, every time Nancy Donahue said "Axl's so polite at our house", I assumed she was lying to spare my feelings. And once your English teacher wrote "A pleasure to have in class" on the back of your report card. I thought it was a typo. But you are a pleasure, aren't you?

  Axl Heck : Okay. Liking the words, confused about the bulging neck veins.

  Frankie Heck : They're bulging because I'm wondering how you can be all charming and Colin Firth-y with this guy and Nancy Donahue and God knows who else. How come you never bring your best for us, huh?

  Axl Heck : Oh, like you bring your best for us.

  Frankie Heck : Wait, what? I bring my best. I bring my best 24/7.

  Axl Heck : Yeah, right. I don't see you bringing me dip and lemonade. It's always "I'm too tired. Make your own lunch." Well, the color of the pot is black vis-a-vis the kettle.

  Frankie Heck : We're not talking about me. We're talking about you. Ugh. You were so amazing tonight, I can't even look at you.

  Mike Heck : I know.

  [angrily] 

  Mike Heck : Nice job!

• Frankie Heck : You know, I like that Jack. My dip was kind of gross and he still ate it.

  Mike Heck : I'll like him more when he gives Axl a free ride. And don't ever make that dip again.