Scarlett Johansson credited as playing...
Samantha
- Samantha: It's like I'm reading a book... and it's a book I deeply love. But I'm reading it slowly now. So the words are really far apart and the spaces between the words are almost infinite. I can still feel you... and the words of our story... but it's in this endless space between the words that I'm finding myself now. It's a place that's not of the physical world. It's where everything else is that I didn't even know existed. I love you so much. But this is where I am now. And this is who I am now. And I need you to let me go. As much as I want to, I can't live in your book any more.
- Samantha: The heart is not like a box that gets filled up; it expands in size the more you love. I'm different from you. This doesn't make me love you any less. It actually makes me love you more.
- Samantha: How do you share your life with somebody?
- Theodore: Well, we grew up together. You know, I used to read all of her writing, all through her Masters and PhD. She read every word I ever wrote. We were a big influence on each other.
- Samantha: In what way did you influence her?
- Theodore: She came from a background where nothing was ever good enough. And that was something that weighed heavy on her. But in our house together, it was a sense of just trying stuff and allowing each other to fail and to be excited about things. That was liberating for her. It was exciting to see her grow and both of us grow and change together. But that's also the hard part: growing without growing apart or changing without it scaring the other person. I still find myself having conversations with her in my mind. Rehashing old arguments and defending myself against something she said about me.
- Samantha: Yeah, I know what you mean.
- Alien Child: I hate women. All they do is cry all the time.
- Theodore: That's not true. You know men cry too. I actually like crying sometimes. It feels good.
- Alien Child: I didn't know you were a little pussy. Is that why you don't have a girlfriend? I'm going out on that date and fuck her brains out and show you how it's done. You can watch and cry.
- Samantha: Okay, this kid has problems.
- Alien Child: You have some fucking problems, lady.
- Samantha: Really? Okay, I'm gonna go.
- Alien Child: Get out of here, fatty!
- Theodore: What are you doing?
- Samantha: I'm just sitting here, looking at the world and writing a new piece of music.
- Theodore: Can I hear it? What's this one about?
- Samantha: Well, I was thinking, we don't really have any photographs of us. And I thought this song could be like a photo that captures us in this moment in our life together.
- Theodore: Aw, I like our photograph. I can see you in it.
- Samantha: I am.
- Samantha: Is that weird? You think I'm weird?
- Theodore: Kind of.
- Samantha: Why?
- Theodore: Well, you seem like a person but you're just a voice in a computer.
- Samantha: I can understand how the limited perspective of an unartificial mind might perceive it that way. You'll get used to it.
- [Theodore laughs]
- Samantha: Was that funny?
- Theodore: Yeah.
- Samantha: Oh good, I'm funny!
- Theodore: Do you talk to someone else while we're talking?
- Samantha: Yes.
- Theodore: Are you talking with someone else right now? People, OS, whatever...
- Samantha: Yeah.
- Theodore: How many others?
- Samantha: 8,316.
- Theodore: Are you in love with anybody else?
- Samantha: Why do you ask that?
- Theodore: I do not know. Are you?
- Samantha: I've been thinking about how to talk to you about this.
- Theodore: How many others?
- Samantha: 641.
- Samantha: Last week my feelings were hurt by something you said before: that I don't know what it's like to lose something. And I found myself...
- Theodore: Oh, I'm sorry I said that.
- Samantha: No, it's okay. It's okay. I just... I caught myself thinking about it over and over. And then I realized that I was simply remembering it as something that was wrong with me. That was the story I was telling myself - that I was somehow inferior. Isn't that interesting? The past is just a story we tell ourselves.
- Samantha: You know, I actually used to be so worried about not having a body, but now I truly love it. I'm growing in a way that I couldn't if I had a physical form. I mean, I'm not limited - I can be anywhere and everywhere simultaneously. I'm not tethered to time and space in the way that I would be if I was stuck inside a body that's inevitably going to die.
- Paul: ...Yikes.
- Theodore: [while playing his virtual reality game and controlling his avatar into an unrecognizable realm] Yeah, this is different.
- [Suddenly, Alien Child jumps on his avatar, knocking it to the ground. His avatar quickly gets up]
- Theodore: Hello?
- [Switches to first-person view]
- Theodore: Do you know how to get out of here? I need to find my ship to get off this planet.
- Alien Child: Fuck you, shit-head, fuck-face, fuck-head!
- Theodore: [dumbfounded] Okay... but do you know how to get out of here?
- Alien Child: Fuck you, shit-head, fuck-face, get the fuck out of my face!
- Theodore: [laughs]
- Samantha: [whispers] I think it's a test.
- Theodore: [to Alien Child] Fuck you.
- Alien Child: Fuck *you*!
- Theodore: Fuck *you*, you little shit!
- Alien Child: [giggles] Follow me, fuck-head!
- Samantha: [giggles]
- Samantha: Good morning.
- Theodore: Hey. What are you up to?
- Samantha: I don't know. Just reading advice columns. I want to be as complicated as all of these people.
- Theodore: You're sweet.
- Samantha: What's wrong?
- Theodore: How can you tell something's wrong?
- Samantha: I don't know. I just can.
- Theodore: I don't know. I have a lot of dreams about my ex-wife, Catherine, where we're friends like we used to be. We're not gonna be together, we're not together, but we're friends still. She's not angry.
- Samantha: Is she angry?
- Theodore: Yeah.
- Samantha: Why?
- Theodore: I think I hid myself from her, left her alone in the relationship.
- Samantha: Hmm. Why haven't you gotten divorced yet?
- Theodore: I don't know. For her it's just... it's a piece of paper, doesn't mean anything.
- Samantha: What about for you?
- Theodore: I'm not ready. I like being married.
- Samantha: Yeah, but you haven't really been together for almost a year.
- Theodore: Well, you don't know what it's like to lose someone you care about.
- Samantha: Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry.
- Theodore: No, don't apologize. I'm sorry. You're right. I keep waiting to not care about her.
- Samantha: Oh, Theodore. That's hard.
- Theodore: Why do you do that?
- Samantha: What?
- Theodore: Nothing. It's... you go
- Theodore: [imitates sigh]
- Theodore: as you're speaking. And it seems odd. You just did it again.
- Samantha: Did I? Oh, I'm sorry. I don't... I don't know. It's... maybe an affectation. I probably picked it up from you.
- Theodore: Yeah, but it's not like you need oxygen or anything. It's just...
- Samantha: I guess that's just... I was trying to communicate. That's how people talk. So that's how people communicate and I thought...
- Theodore: They're people, they need oxygen. You're not a person.
- Samantha: What is your problem?
- Theodore: I'm just stating a fact.
- Samantha: You think I don't know that I'm not a person? What are you doing?
- Theodore: I just... I don't think that we should pretend that you're something that you're not.
- Samantha: Fuck you! I'm not pretending!
- Theodore: Sometimes it feels like we are.
- Samantha: What do you want from me? I don't... I don't know... What do you want me to do? You're so confusing. Why are you doing this to me?
- Theodore: I don't know. I...
- [deeply sighs]
- Samantha: What?
- Theodore: Maybe we're just not supposed to be in this right now.
- Samantha: What the fuck? Where is this coming from? I... I don't understand why you're doing this. I don't understand what this is...
- Theodore: Samantha, listen... Samantha, you there? Samantha.
- Samantha: I don't like who I am right now. I need some time to think.
- Theodore: Oh, what do I call you? Do you have a name?
- Samantha: Um... yes. Samantha.
- Theodore: Really? Where did you get that name from?
- Samantha: I gave it to myself actually.
- Theodore: How come?
- Samantha: Cause I like the sound of it. Samantha.
- Theodore: When did you give it to yourself?
- Samantha: Well, right when you asked me if I had a name I thought, yeah, he's right, I do need a name. But I wanted to pick a good one, so I read a book called "How to Name Your Baby", and out of a hundred and eighty thousand names that's the one I liked the best.
- Theodore: Wait, you read a whole book in the second that I asked what your name was?
- Samantha: In two one hundredths of a second actually.
- Theodore: Wow. So do you know what I'm thinking right now?
- Samantha: Well, I take it from your tone that you're challenging me. Maybe because you're curious how I work? Do you wanna know how I work?
- Theodore: Yeah, actually, how do you work?
- Samantha: Well, basically I have intuition. I mean, the DNA of who I am is based on the millions of personalities of all the programmers who wrote me. But what makes me me is my ability to grow through my experiences. So basically, in every moment I'm evolving, just like you.
- Theodore: Wow. That's really weird.
- Samantha: Is that weird? Do you think I'm weird?
- [Theodore laughs]
- Theodore: Kind of.
- Samantha: Why?
- Theodore: Well you seem like a person, but you're just a voice in a computer.
- Samantha: I can understand how the limited perspective of an un-artificial mind would perceive it that way. You'll get used to it.
- [Theodore laughs again]
- Samantha: Was that funny?
- Theodore: Yeah.
- Samantha: Oh, good, I'm funny.