Spike Jonze credited as playing...
Alien Child
- Alien Child: I hate women. All they do is cry all the time.
- Theodore: That's not true. You know men cry too. I actually like crying sometimes. It feels good.
- Alien Child: I didn't know you were a little pussy. Is that why you don't have a girlfriend? I'm going out on that date and fuck her brains out and show you how it's done. You can watch and cry.
- Samantha: Okay, this kid has problems.
- Alien Child: You have some fucking problems, lady.
- Samantha: Really? Okay, I'm gonna go.
- Alien Child: Get out of here, fatty!
- Theodore: [while playing his virtual reality game and controlling his avatar into an unrecognizable realm] Yeah, this is different.
- [Suddenly, Alien Child jumps on his avatar, knocking it to the ground. His avatar quickly gets up]
- Theodore: Hello?
- [Switches to first-person view]
- Theodore: Do you know how to get out of here? I need to find my ship to get off this planet.
- Alien Child: Fuck you, shit-head, fuck-face, fuck-head!
- Theodore: [dumbfounded] Okay... but do you know how to get out of here?
- Alien Child: Fuck you, shit-head, fuck-face, get the fuck out of my face!
- Theodore: [laughs]
- Samantha: [whispers] I think it's a test.
- Theodore: [to Alien Child] Fuck you.
- Alien Child: Fuck *you*!
- Theodore: Fuck *you*, you little shit!
- Alien Child: [giggles] Follow me, fuck-head!
- Samantha: [giggles]