Johnny Galecki credited as playing...
Leonard Hofstadter
- Leonard Hofstadter: Would I be completely out of line for me to ask you to shoot him?
- Officer Hackett: I'd be happy to put him under a seventy-two hour psychiatric hold.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested.
- Sheldon Cooper: They took our TV, two laptops, four external hard-drives, our PS2, our PS3, our X-Box, our X-Box 360, our classic Nintendo, our Super Nintendo, our Nintendo 64 and our Wii.
- Leonard Hofstadter: We like games.
- Sheldon Cooper: Right, games. They took Halo 1, Halo 2, Halo 3, Call of Duty 1, Call of Duty 2, Call of Duty 3, Rock Band, Rock Band 2, Final Fantasy 1 through 9, The Legend of Zelda, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Super Mario Brothers, Super Mario Galaxy, Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympics... and Ms. Pac-Man.
- Officer Hackett: [writing] Assorted video games.
- Howard Wolowitz: Oh, come on. So you were the victim of a crime. That's part of life. When my great-grandfather first came to this country, he put all his hopes and dreams into this little butcher shop he ran on the Lower East Side of New York. You know what happened? Every customer who walked into that butcher shop and asked for a pound of liver, got ripped off. But, those people moved on, and so should you.
- Sheldon Cooper: I am moving on. I'm going to be a Bozite.
- Leonard Hofstadter: They call themselves Bozites?
- Sheldon Cooper: They should. It's one of the first things I plan to bring up upon arrival.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm going to miss you.
- Sheldon Cooper: Please, Penny, as you know, I'm not comfortable with prolonged good-byes and maudlin displays of emotion, so I prepared a short video. - - Greetings. As you know, I'm not comfortable with prolonged good-byes and maudlin displays of emotion, so I prepared this short video. The four of you are three of my closest friends and one treasured acquaintance. Though I cannot state categorically that my life will be diminished by not having you in it, I am comfortable if you choose to believe that. Since you intend to remain in this lawless metropolitan area, statistics suggest that you will succumb to tragic and gruesome ends before we meet again. Live long and prosper.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Where did you get all this stuff?
- Howard Wolowitz: Eh, I got a buddy over at the Department of Defense.
- Leonard Hofstadter: He just *gave* it to you?
- Howard Wolowitz: I'm sure he would've if I'd asked. Ironically, their security isn't all that good.
- Sheldon Cooper: [while looking at a menu] And look over here, 'Shrimp in Mobster Sauce'. What is mobster sauce?
- Leonard Hofstadter: It's obviously a typo.
- Sheldon Cooper: Hmm, perhaps. Or perhaps this restaurant's now a front for organised crime. For all we know the mobster sauce contains actual chunks of deceased mobsters.
- Raj Koothrappali: No, no, no, no. I think it just means it's the kind of sauce that mobsters like.
- Howard Wolowitz: It doesn't mean any of that. It's a typo.
- Penny: I can't believe it! If I hadn't been working the dinner shift, I would've run right into the robbers.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hey, there's no reason for you to be scared.
- Penny: I'm not scared.
- [picks up baseball bat]
- Penny: I would have gone all Nebraska on their asses.
- Sheldon Cooper: You know, the more I think about it, the 'mobster sauce' couldn't possibly contain chunks of mobster.
- Leonard Hofstadter: And why is that?
- Sheldon Cooper: It was listed under seafood.
- Leonard Hofstadter: What if they were mobsters who slept with the fishes?
- [laughs]
- Sheldon Cooper: Leonard, are we having a serious conversation or not?
- Sheldon Cooper: In the meantime, please forward my mail.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Any place specific or just the Bozeman, Montana loony bin.
- Sheldon Cooper: I sense you're making a joke, but Bozeman does have a comedy club called the Loony Bin, so do not forward my mail there.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh dear Lord, they redid the menu.
- Leonard Hofstadter: So what? Its the same food.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, is it? Look at this. General Tso's chicken is no longer listed under 'specialties'; it's now under 'chicken'.
- Raj Koothrappali: So?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes, General Tso.
- Raj Koothrappali: Not 'Tso' the chicken, 'so' the question.
- Sheldon Cooper: So why is it no longer a specialty? Did the chef lose confidence in the dish or himself?