Death Is in the Air

Carlton Lassiter: [Lassiter, Donny, Shawn, Gus and Juliet are all being showered in the parking lot] I mean is this really necessary? I didn't even go inside the cafe.

Donny Leberman: Oh it's necessary. Yeah, the CDC doesn't want to take any chances.

Carlton Lassiter: For the last time, who the hell is this?

Donny Leberman: Oh, I'm Donny Leberman. Hey, I'm the guy who screwed all this up.

Carlton Lassiter: I'm not big on nude handshakes.

Juliet O'Hara: They're probably just being safe, Carlton.

[Hit by a hose]

Juliet O'Hara: Ooh, that tickles.

Carlton Lassiter: Spencer, are you shampooing your hair?

Shawn Spencer: Yes I am, Lassie. I always travel with a small packet of Johnson and Johnson's baby shampoo in my wallet.

Juliet O'Hara: Baby shampoo?

Shawn Spencer: No more tears, Jules.

Carlton Lassiter: [Getting scrubbed down] Whoa, take it easy, slugger, what are we dating?

Burton 'Gus' Guster: I can't believe this, Shawn. First, we're looking for a prostitute, now I'm naked in a parking lot.

Shawn Spencer: It's just like our prom night.

Burton 'Gus' Guster: Shawn.

Shawn Spencer: Gus, relax. Don't be Nick Cage's accent from "Con Air." We've bathed together before.

Burton 'Gus' Guster: When we were three.

Shawn Spencer: It's essentially the same thing. It's just impolite to pee.

[to the person scrubbing him down]

Shawn Spencer: That feels great by the way.