Barbie (I) (2023)
Will Ferrell: Mattel CEO
Photos
Quotes
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Mattel CEO : [upon seeing Midge, who is pregnant] I thought we discontinued her.
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Mattel CEO : I am the son of a mother, and the nephew of a female aunt. Some of my best friends... are Jewish!
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Mattel CEO : Women are at the foundation of this company! There was a female CEO in the 90s and then another one... at some point. So that's two right there!
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Mattel Executive #1 : Is BarbieLand an alternate world where everything is doll-sized or are Barbies our size?
Mattel CEO , Aaron Dinkins , Mattel Executive #2 , Young Mattel Executive , An Even Younger Mattel Employee : Yes.
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Mattel CEO : No one rests until this doll is back in a box!
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Mattel CEO : Her ghost keeps an office on the 17th floor.
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Gloria : I have an idea.
Mattel CEO : Tell me your secret dream, child.
Gloria : Okay, what about Ordinary Barbie? She's not extraordinary. She's not president of anything, or maybe she is. Maybe she's a mom. Maybe she's not. Because it's okay to... to just want to be a mom, or to wanna be president or a mom who is president. Or not a mom who's also not president. She just has a flattering top, and she wants to get through the day feeling kinda good about herself.
Mattel CEO : That's a terrible idea.
Mattel Executive #1 : Yeah, that's going to make money.
Mattel CEO : Oh. Ordinary Barbie. I love it. Fantastic.
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Sasha : Hey, what about Barbie?
Mattel CEO : What do you mean?
Sasha : What's her ending? What does she get?
Mattel CEO : Well, that's easy. She's in love with Ken.
Sasha : That is not her ending.
Barbie : I'm not in love with Ken.
Mattel CEO : What do you want?
Barbie : I don't know. I'm... I'm not really sure where I belong anymore. I don't think I have an ending.
Ruth : That was always the point. I created you so you wouldn't have an ending.
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Mattel CEO : E-O-D... that stands for "End Of Day."
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Mattel CEO : Shame on you, Executive Number Two. You think I spent my entire life in boardrooms because of a bottom line? No! I got into this business because of little girls and their dreams. In the least creepy way possible. Now, blade faster. Time is running out.
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Mattel CEO : Oh, no. First step is always Rollerblading.
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Aaron Dinkins : I think you're gonna want to hear this, sir.
Mattel CEO : Can you just e-mail it? And you can send it to me EOD.
[whispering]
Mattel CEO : End of day.
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Mattel CEO : But thanks to the Barbies, I, too, can now relieve myself of this heavy existential burden while holding on to the very real title of CEO.
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Mattel CEO : And when you think of sparkle, what do you think of after that? Female agency.
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Mattel CEO : If this got out that our dolls were coming to Los Angeles from Barbie Land as life-size versions of themselves... roaming the earth... this would be very bad.
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Mattel CEO : What I'm trying to say is... Get in the box, you Jezebel! What? I can't say Jezebel now?
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Mattel CEO : They've gone to Barbie Land.
Aaron Dinkins : Oh, no.
Mattel CEO : And she's brought humans there with her. This could mean extremely weird things for our world.
Mattel Executive #1 : Like...
Aaron Dinkins : What?
Mattel CEO : Nothing any of our collective imaginations could ever dream up.
Mattel Executive #1 : A podcast hosted by two wise trees. Or a choir of 2,000 young fathers.
Mattel CEO : Not even close. We've got to get to Barbie Land. Go! Find some blades now! Just pick a direction and run!
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Mattel CEO : Look, do you know how many times I've wanted to stand up in a board meeting and just say, 'Can we just tickle each other?'
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Mattel CEO : Let's have a company retreat and just tickle each other.
