User reviews

I don't review movies too often, but when I saw all the horrible reviews for this movie, I felt the need to write my own. I have a feeling that most of the people who rated this movie poorly haven't seen the movie at all (like a lot of ratings on IMDb) or just have no sense of humor at all. Is this movie action-packed? Yes! Does the movie include a lot of dick jokes, bouncing boobs and swearing? Yes! Did I enjoy the movie? Oh yeah! Will it be an Oscar winner? Of course not! It's not that kind of movie. People take things too seriously.

If you liked Baywatch like I did, check out Zac Efron in Dirty Grandpa and Dwayne Johnson in The Other Guys.

My review for this movie is sort of late as I had zero interest in viewing it when it came out. The trailers looked silly, bad, cringy so I skipped. Now, almost 6 years later it has come to pass that there was nothing better on the TV, so I gave it a chance.

Is the movie Bad? Yes. It is very selfaware though, over the top, silly and dare I say... fun. The movie is just ridiculous in a good way, making fun of but also tributing the original series.

The plot is simple, the actors are just having fun on set. The CGI is laughable, but I believe on purpose. There is a part with a rescue from a burning boat. The flames look so fake that it was funny in it's own right (sharknado level CGI in fact).

Do not expect inteligent humor, do not expect a well thought out plot, effects or acting.

In fact, this movie is probably best consumed with a group of friends and a side of alcohol. I went into this movie with absolutely zero expectations and came out pleasantly surprised with how much I was entertained.

I can understand a bit why you guys rates it that low. You probably wanted a good plot. When I walked into the theaters I expected 3 things: Muscles, macho and action. It's not about the plot. It doesn't matter with a cliché-plot, because It's all about what I mentioned. Watch this movie again, and focus on those three things. I loves Baywatch because of these things!

It's fair to say that Baywatch was never a great television show. Sure, it was popular but for reasons very different to it actually being a quality show. It was trashy as hell and combined slow-motion with a number of scantily clad supermodels running down the beach in bathing suits so no surprises at all that it attracted viewers.

There seems to be a bit of a trend in reviving franchises that were popular back in the 80s and 90s, and right now, it was the turn of Baywatch. Quite why is something that I'm still scratching my head about.

When Mitch Buchanan (Dwayne Johnson) butts heads with new recruit Matt Brody (Zac Efron) over how to run Baywatch, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the future of the bay.

As soon as the film started and we see Dwayne Johnson saving someone before Baywatch rises from the sea in giant letters behind him, I immediately thought this was going to be exactly what a Baywatch film should be if it was to be successful. A self aware comedy made as a parody of the show, in the same way that made the Jump Street films such a critical and financial success.

We get flashes of that formula however, for the most part, Baywatch is just an awful film. Painfully unfunny and not one memorable action sequence means it utterly fails as the action comedy it set out to be, and with a runtime of two hours it becomes one hell of a slog to sit through.

I tried to enjoy it and take it for what it is but the problem is I just can't do that when there seems to be no effort into making the film funny, particularly when watching a comedy. Literally every other joke is a dick joke, including an overly long joke about one of the new recruits getting their dick stuck in a deck chair. I knew it was going to be silly and I didn't have high expectations at all but sadly they weren't even met.

Coming to the performances, Baywatch is absolutely lifeless. Even Dwayne Johnson or Zac Efron, who has shown good comedic timing before, can't save this from becoming the absolute car wreck that it is. Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach and Ilfenesh Hadera are sure nice to look at but the film fails them totally in giving them anything interesting to do, Daddario in particular who is actually quite a talented actress. Then there is Jon Bass who delivers an irritant of a performance as he hopelessly lusts after Rohrbach's CJ Parker. I felt embarrassed for them as they had to perform such a terrible script.

I won't even waste time in talking about the pathetic cameo that David Hasselhoff makes in the film. All I will say is what a waste of a cameo that had much better potential if they'd actually stopped to think about it.

So there you have it, Baywatch is an awful film that fails as both an action and a comedy. It's already one of the worst films I've seen this year and I won't be surprised if it's still up there come the year's end.

It's a warm, beautiful day on the beach. The pristine waves crash gently against the sand as the sun-kissed folk of Southern Florida come out to play. Lifeguard Post 1 stands like a sentinel - its windows permanently cocked forward towards the horizon. There's a change in the wind. A wind surfer looses control of his sail and is catapulted upward towards the sky before plummeting, head first into a coral reef. He's knocked unconscious...all seems lost. Then Mitch Buchannon (Johnson) appears on the scene.

What results is a valiant rescue that inexplicably involves slow-motion running, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson flexing his pectorals underwater, fireworks and dolphins for some reason. The movie could have stopped right there as by that point we got the best version of what could have been the cinematic version of a far-fetched TV show. Unfortunately the first fifteen minutes aren't so much a harbinger of the hilarity to come but rather a visual metaphor for the movie's inflated sense of self.

The film energetically sets up its main characters with all-too-brief introductions on tryout day. We immediately endear ourselves veterans Stephanie (Hadera), C.J. (Rohrbach) and Mitch as they judge incoming trainees the tough and brainy Summer (Daddario), the dorky Ronnie (Bass) and disgraced former Olympic swimmer Matt Brody (Efron) whose ego Mitch sees as a liability. Much of the film's prouder moments are spent with The Rock and Efron doing what they do best; The Rock deflating Brody's ego with real-deal charisma and action hero one-liners - Efron playing the dim-witted, put-upon jock who deserves everything he has coming to him because he was in High School Musical (2006).

But just when you think everything will turn out for this movie, the narrative drastically shifts to a crime story that stops the movie's momentum cold. The narrative thrust involves the new owner of the beach's fancy yacht club (Chopra) and her suspicious connection to a new designer drug called Flaka. The rest of the movie doesn't so much spend time exploring that connection or its implications (Chopra compares herself favorably to a Bond villain pretty much from the get go) but instead it lays every aspect of the conspiracy out on the table and waits for the lifeguards to connect the dots.

This ploy not only doesn't work but it basically splits Baywatch into two completely unsatisfying pieces. The first piece brings a diversity of comic set-pieces which on their own, probably couldn't make a good sketch on Key and Peele (2012-2015). They lack a depth of character requiring one or two of them to be more gullible, less resourceful or otherwise dumber than what was previously established.

The other half of the movie plants its flag firmly on The Rock's ability to recap what we already know while Priyanka Chopra chews unhelpfully on the scenery until the timer runs out. All throughout the film drops hints that you should care about this or that - an insert shot of a watch brings more pause than a fiery boat rescue. Yet because nothing new is ever revealed, the film's call for attention becomes soporifically annoying.

The overall tone of the film is also aggressively reductive, treating the, in retrospect quaint misogyny of the original series with an uncomfortable amount of contrarian glee. Every time one of the girls of Baywatch justifiably call out the boys for being pervs, the payoff by the end of the film amounts to nothing more than quid pro quo ribbing or worse - they end up with the dude at the end. If Baywatch had just treated the subject as window-dressing, I might have been inclined to let it go (after all trash TV is trash TV). Unfortunately the movie stops just short of waving its d**k in the air while saying "you think we're being sexist, f**k you bruh!" Thus I think its worth a brief mention.

Baywatch has all the necessary ingredients to make a pretty satisfying comedic soup. Unfortunately apart from The Rock and Efron standing out as the film's sole saving graces, everything else is squandered on a useless story, oblivious editing and a unifying tone that's unnecessarily combative. Unless you're the type of person who truly believes Kelly Rohrbach's slo-mo runs along the beach are enough to maintain your attention, I suggest skipping out on this aggressively unfunny movie.

On a related note: Stop with the dorky guy gets the hot girl for doing nothing cliché. It's been done a hundred times before, you're bringing nothing new to the table and it's come to the point where if you do it at all it just feels icky. The Sam Witwickys of the the world should have to, you know, work for it now.

Not that the original was a masterpiece but hell this is way too bad....

When will Hollywood comedies of this decade hire writers who at least have a clue of comedy? Why hire immature morons who think the idea of a dick is funny and can replace a good script. Hollywood seems to be obsessed with male nudity and full frontal at that in this decade.If it is in the right context it could be funny but haven't seen one this decade. What happened to the writers of 40-year old virgin,knocked up,etc? This movie is a pathetic excuse for a comedy and is particularly sad since there was an opening for a new franchise which has been firmly grounded. Avoid if you are lucky and watch 'Central Intelligence' if you want to see the Rock in a good comedy!

I'm a giant fan of Kelly Rohrbach. I met her three times and at the latest time I asked her about her role on Baywatch. She said she was nervous about it, I told her she would do well and I'd be there in the theaters to watch her film debut. Fast forward a year, and this has happened. Kelly was so great and unbelievably sexy in the film which is great. That's really not all though. I'm not gonna lie I had a bit of a blast watching this film. Its stupid and crude but its a lot of fun and gave me all of what I was expecting.

The film is about a group of lifeguards on a beach and three trainees who try to make it into the squad. Once they join the team they realize all is not what it seems on the beach. Murder's are being covered up and drugs are being embezzled through the beach and the team must take the responsibility of uncovering what's going on while protecting their beach. I have never seen the TV show but from what I've heard the film is more R-rated and a bit more comedic than the TV show. I'll take it. I don't care what the critics say this film was satisfying. Its raucous and cheesy but fun. Its excessive on dick jokes, but you'll leave. The plot is pretty predictable but I can forgive it. The soundtrack is GREAT too, although I'll say the song placement isn't always great.

The main complaint I have is some characters really being bland. Especially that of Alexandra Daddario and Ilfenesh Hadera weren't developed and had no real depth. Hadera should have had more going on and it seemed like the "love story" between her was a bit under-filled. There was longing with these characters. Also wasn't that keen on the beauty and the geek scenario that was hammered in. I also didn't buy Priyanka Chopra as a villain. Hasslehoff and Pamela Anderson's names should be taken off the opening credits just for the nostalgic surprise appearances.

I also really liked that the film was self-aware. It was aware of the climate of the TV show, just like how they mention how everyone can see people moving in slow motion. I can't deny that Dwayne Johnson is a born movie star. Can do action and comedy equally and he always has great compatibility with Zac Efron (he always does well in the buddy scenario). All the jokes don't land but Efron provides some good comedy. Overall, there's a few laughs, a generic and predictable plot, but its a very fun time. It's a perfect summer movie with some 10/10 babes on the bitch. Its a lot of fun, enjoy. I hope there's a sequel.

7.5/10

The humor was sophomoric.. I can't believe some of the lines being delivered by the actors. I guess if you're getting paid millions you'll concede to saying anything.

Could have been done so much better. Lazy writing. Lazy plot.. but I guess some audiences will fall for this. They will serve a certain demographic.. unfortunately it's not mine.

Baywatch is super cheesy, low brow, campy, ridiculous, etc, etc.....but you know what? That's enjoyable sometimes! You don't knowingly buy a ticket to a movie like this and then go write a review afterwards complaining about plot, teenage boy humour, and character development. hahaha. I had low expectations, shut my brain off at the door, and enjoyed this movie for what it was.

In "Baywatch" beauty doesn't conquer stupid. It ends up a tie at best, on points. People Magazine's 2017 Sexiest Man Alive Dwayne Johnson, "The Rock", stars as iconic lifeguard Mitch Buchannon in Director Seth Gordon's "Baywatch"—his recreation and homage to the worldwide TV syndication phenom. All the lifeguards, sans one by narrative, are stunningly beautiful. In reassuring self-mockery Gordon vividly recreates the classic "slow-mo" running shots of his stars in homage to the original series. In the introductory beach sequence, wannabe life guard Ronnie, played by charming soft-bodied geek Jon Bass, gazes longingly at the crush of his life C.J. Parker, played by beautiful, sweet former Sports Illustrated Model Kelly Rohrbach, as she runs emerging from the ocean.

It's a shame on several levels, because the cast like Rohrbach and Johnson are amazingly beautiful, and they are also charismatic, funny, and charming. Unfortunately, those attributes are distinctly lacking in Damian Shannon and Mark Swift's dreadfully erratic screenplay. A real embarrassment.

Along with Rohrbach and The Rock, Zac Efron and Alexandra Daddario bring their comically charming A-games. Efron is totally jacked; his body is ripped beyond, giving even The Rock competition. Efron plays disgraced 2-time Olympic swimming Gold Medalist bad-boy Matt Brody, a thinly veiled caricature of Ryan Lochte. Except here, Efron infuses more heart and character to bear as Brody. Daddario plays Summer, the young marine biologist whose dream is being the lifeguard who saves others. Efron's Brody quickly falls for Summer upon their meeting at Baywatch tryouts. Daddario endures the movie's blatant boob punch line, brilliantly understating her smarts, and radiance.

Well, nuance is not inherent to "Baywatch" given the campy source material of the TV series. However, the narrative tonal currents make your headache. At the lifeguard tryouts Johnson's Mitch iterates that at Baywatch, "We save lives." In the awesome opening scene Mitch courageously saves an unconscious surfer from certain death. Later Mitch and Brody dramatically save the drowning Mother and her two young children near the pier. Offset this with Director Gordon numerous penis jokes, and incoherent story-line, and you'll both laugh and scratch your head. Farce and self-mockery don't mix, mainly because they are redundant. "Baywatch" is stupid, funny. More often it is stupid, stupid. There is one sequence where Johnson fights the bad guy with baby toys. Yeah. The Rock is the coolest action star, so this makes absolutely no sense.

Johnson is at his movie star best as Mitch—charming, bright, and swag. He and Efron have the very cool screen partnership and bromance. When Efron's Brody arrives at Baywatch he expects his entitled pass to lifeguard, because of his Olympic Gold. Mitch and second-in-command Stephanie played by gorgeous and under leveraged Ilfenesh Hadera, tell him, "We don't give a f***!" Brody predictably lets Mitch down. In the nice scene Mitch tells Brody, "I watched you win your 2 gold medals in the Olympics. It was amazing…" But Brody did that alone. He is part of a team now. He enlightens Brody that he is a selfish jerk. Mitch sees greatness in Brody; he needs to grow up.

Shannon and Swift's script fails miserably, instead opting for the ridiculous story-line about evil femme fatale Victoria, played by exasperating Priyanka Chopra, and her drug trafficking scheme of the meth-like designer drug in hopes of owning all real estate in Emerald Bay. However, not at all threatening, Victoria lands as extremely annoying, more the effect of the writing. Instead of more charm of the whimsical Mitch-Brody bromance, we get stupid morgue jokes that extend way too long. In the inadvertent signature moment Brody offers his hysterical misinterpretation of computer networks while Ronnie attempts to hack into the villain's secure server. Ronnie tells Brody, "It's a good thing you're pretty." Pretty alone isn't enough to save "Baywatch".

There is the spectacular montage as the Baywatch lifeguards all run in classic slow-mo on the beach. Seeing those perfectly sculpted bodies in red Speedos is stunning and the sentimental homage. The actors in "Baywatch" are both beautiful and gifted. It's a shame that "Baywatch" didn't save them as well.

Baywatch... Based of the 1990s TV series starring David Hasselhoff, about lifeguards... with some bewbs in between... And now, it's a movie, starring The Rock... Now in theaters, in my country...

Everyone already knows when your source material is "this", it was a recipe for disaster, and oh boy, it IS bad (but they know it!)

Let's start with the acting. Literally all the main characters are great. Dwayne Johnson is likable as always. Zac Efron is also good in this movie. The bromance between The Rock and Efron is probably the best thing in this movie. Alexandra Daddario... from Percy Jackson to this, she really does improved and in this movie, she probably gave her best performance so far. What's surprising is the comic relief guy, played by Jon Bass. He's no annoying/trouble making guy, he's actually helping the team, which is great, well done writers. Kelly Rohrbach and Ilfenesh Hadera is also great as C.J. and Steph respectively (although C.J. was overly sexualized, but that's pretty normal in this movie, obviously). Priyanka Chopra is way to good for this movie. I mean she could took something else rather than this. The cameos from Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson were also great.

Everything else is... 70% garbage. The story is awful. So convoluted, so many plot holes. The pacing is uneven. The fight scenes were so disappointing. There so many quick​ cuts and close ups in the fight scenes, especially those involve The Rock. You don't need quick cuts and close ups for the fight scenes, you got a former wrestler in this movie! He definitely can fake fight scenes. The visual effects in this movie is a joke. There's not a single CGI looked convincing in this movie.Every scenes that should be intense is gone thanks to the easily noticeable CGI fires and CGI explosions. I was expecting more practical than CGI, but now I'm disappointed. (But again, they kinda know it! They know it's bad, so they kinda tried to be more bad that the original!)

Let's talk about the humor. It didn't work, like 80% of it. They tried so hard to make you laugh, but most of the time, you'll be like: "..." The recurring jokes also gets annoying the more you've heard it. There's​ a lot of penis and bewbs, and most of them were so unnecessary. There's a conversation between Daddario and Efron in which Daddario kinda "forced" to bounce her bewbs (personal opinion btw). I mean: WHAT. (-_-) You don't needs bouncing bewbs and big balls all the time! Just give me a good movie that has a good story that is based from a really bad source material and I give this movie a immediate 9/10 stars. Seriously, are the writers writing an actual script for Baywatch, or a fan- fiction version of Baywatch? Because I'm pretty sure every 90 seconds in this movie would involve bewbs, or penises.

Overall, this is definitely a bad movie that knows itself is a bad movie. It's the perfect disposable stupid fun movie. If you're a casual movie-goer like me, you'll have mixed feelings for this movie. For anyone else, skip this movie and watch Dunkirk or Apes 3 instead. But you'll probably enjoy this movie more if you're drunk (or if you dare, drunk while you're mind is "flying", then you'll woke up finding yourself leaving the world, or if not, you'll woke up in a rehab facility.)

Final Score: 5/10. The acting is the only saving grace of this movie. And slomo bouncing bewbs.

On a personal note: *SPOILER ALERT* How could a fat guy can get laid with a blonde sexy chick, while others don't? What logic is this? What kind of sorcery is this?

A little over 20 years ago, the world was introduced to Baywatch the TV show. This was an awesome show for any pre-pubescent boy or middle aged pervert who liked to watch Pamela Anderson run in slow-mo. Much like the TV show, the film is all brawn and beauty and doesn't have a brain cell to its name. Starring Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario and Dwayne Johnson, the cast can't even save this atrocious excuse for a film. It is far from the comedic romp that was promised in the trailers. The film takes itself seriously and then other times it knows it is a parody. The only problem is, the filmmakers and writers can't decide on a tone. This really killed the film in more ways than one. Those who are expecting another Neighbors will be sorely disappointed and those of you wanting to see Dwayne Johnson kick some ass, you get to see that a little bit but there is much MUCH more to this film that could have been. I normally would go into a longer review and really talk about the film itself but I stopped myself short of this because any longer than this and it would simply be a waste of time, much like this film.

I'm not how this movie rates so low, I mean sure it's cheesy and a bit silly but it's such a fun watch. Don't get me wrong it won't be earning any awards for writing per say however the movie as a whole is brilliant, the action is great - some great fight scenes, the story surrounding Brody and his character arc is fun and as well as that all the characters are likeable. I always find that this movie puts me in a great mood for summer and not to mention it has a great soundtrack. It's a well balanced blend of funny but cheesy moments, action, wholesome moments and an entertaining heroes vs villain story. Bump up the ratings for Baywatch!!

For the first time I actually walked out of a film before the end.

The humour is infantile, so stupid I was embarrassed for the actors.

This film is just beautiful bodies wandering about hoping it makes an entertaining film.

Clear proof you can't make a silk purse, no matter how many beautiful people you use, out of a rotting, festering, maggot ridden pigs ear written by talentless chimps.

Complete waste of time and money 0.5/10

Suspicious of the many 10/10 ratings, given by first time reviewers/new reviewers. Confirms suspicions Studios try to promote their films with bogus reviews.

This was a lot of fun, some action, banter, romance and pretty people. Writing and actors are right on the line between parody and playing it straight. Some holler backs to the TV show. Parents be aware, LOTS of adult language, genitalia jokes and full frontal male nudity. The promos make the film look like a fun romp, but don't take young kids. (Had to have a talk with my kid about "it's a movie, we don't talk like that at home"). Good light summer fun, go enjoy, don't think too hard.

The old series used to be full of beautiful women and rather rubbish plot lines. So if you didn't get any enjoyment out of the plot at least you had something interesting to look at.

The new one appears to have adopted the idiotic new age feminist approach of making every male character a moron and every female character an undervalued well respected genius. It really is tiresome have strictly the story sticks to these tired and utterly moronic and sexist stereotypes.

To further push the semi-anti male theme running through this film you have the key characters keep on harping on about how female characters should be in charge and that "if a man had said this or that it would of been OK"

Quite frankly not worth anyone's time and a complete waste of money.

Avoid like the plague.

Baywatch is a movie based off the popular TV show of the same name which launched the careers of such acting talents as Yasmine Bleeth and Pam Anderson. And then those quickly died right afterwards but hey, the show ran like 11 years and…little known fact, Jason Mamoa was on spin-off show Baywatch: Hawaii.

The movie is very much like the show; as in if you walk in expecting to take it seriously you're already watching it wrong. The situations people need to be rescued from are just as ridiculous and far-fetched and the main plot here gets far more convoluted and hackneyed than the average day of any real lifeguard.

And like 21 Jump Street and a bunch of lesser TV to movie adaptations, this seeks to make fun of all of it, plus all the slo-mo beach running. Does it come off as good as Jump Street? No. Do we need this? God no. I mean didn't the show basically already make fun of itself enough as it is?

But all I can say here, and I guess the only thing anyone interested in this might want to know is, it could have been so much worse. I'm not saying this is the best movie of the summer so far. I don't really even know if i'm saying this is a good movie. But it's easy enough to sit through and the laughs, while not great, are consistent.

Where the script sucks, the cast knows how to make fun of itself. The Rock is the head honcho who takes the job very seriously. Zac Efron is the selfish, cool pretty boy new trainee who clashes with him. Both have a plethora of jokes for one another that work with varying degrees of success.

There's a fat lifeguard and the movie takes the shots you would expect it to take but actor Jon Bass also does have some comedic talent here in the Josh Gadd sense of the word. Actually he may even be funnier than Josh Gadd. Point is he works the best here from a comedic perspective.

The movie gives us quite a few dick jokes but this dude actually has one embarrassing moment that may rank up there with "There's Something About Mary", just with not as good a payoff.

Hannibal Burress also gets a couple scenes for a cameo and I love when he gets those. It's time for Burress to headline a movie though.

The women aren't as funny but I guess you can say they add some nice support to that and the action. Alexandra Daddario has shown a few times she's a pretty decent actress, and the others don't just seem like stiffs there to just show off a hot body. Priyanka Chopra is also here as the villain, and she's fine.

The whole movie can really be described as fine. It's funny and doesn't take itself too seriously and the cast all seems game for it. You don't have to see, but if you do, know it's already planning on sequels.

But overall I say 6 out of 10. If you guys liked this, check me out on Youtube for more.

Fun fact: The original TV show "Baywatch" was cancelled after only one season. True story. Ratings for NBC's skin-tastic lifeguards-save-L.A. action-drama placed it in 73rd place out of 103 shows for the 1989-1990 television season… and its studio (GTG) went out of business. But, as Norm McDonald used to remind us from the desk of SNL's Weekend Update, "Germans LOVE David Hasselhoff." (And people in lots of other countries do too!) Keeping the show from becoming a footnote in TV history, series star David Hasselhoff brought it to first-run syndication, where it ran from 1991-1999. Having become an international sensation, it then continued in a new setting, with a mostly new cast and under a new name, "Baywatch Hawaii", for two more seasons. Along the way, the show became a major part of the careers of Hasselhoff, Pamela Anderson, Alexandra Paul, Yasmine Bleeth, Carmen Electra, Brooke Burns, Parker Stevenson and many others. Given the show's small screen stamina and enduring popularity, it seems natural that the TV show "Baywatch" would eventually become the movie "Baywatch" (R, 1:56), much like "CHiPs" earlier in 2017. Unfortunately, much like "CHiPs", the big screen "Baywatch" sucks.

On a Florida beach, Lt. Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson) leads a group of lifeguards that he calls "the elite of the elite". Mitch himself has over 500 water rescues under his… trunks, while teammates Stephanie Holden (Ilfenesh Hadera) and C.J. Parker (Kelly Rohrbach) are similarly brave and skilled. In order to expand their team, Mitch and company hold try-outs for an additional three lifeguard slots. The new trainees end up being: the beautiful and brainy Summer Quinn (Alexandra Daddario), an awkward, out-of-shape but hard-charging nerd named Ronnie (Jon Bass) and Matt Brody (Zac Efron), a cocky, selfish 2-time Olympic gold medalist in swimming, who has since become persona non grata in the swimming world – and in society. (His new job somehow counts as community service for unspecified legal trouble.) As Ronnie harbors a not-so-secret crush on C.J., and Brody flirts with Summer, training commences. Brody has to learn what it is to be a real team player and that there is more to being a lifeguard than just being able to swim fast. Meanwhile, a local police officer (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II), Mitch's supervisor (Rob Huebel), and even Brody, want Mitch to learn that he is a lifeguard – NOT a cop.

The reason that Mitch and the other lifeguards feel the need to act like cops is found in the person of Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra from TV's "Quantico"). She's the new owner of a bayside resort called The Huntley Club and it looks like she's up to no good. We hear her accused of running drugs… and she doesn't deny it. We see her colluding with a city councilman (Oscar Nuñez) on some real estate deal… and see bribes him with an expensive watch. We understand that Mitch doesn't trust her… and she invites him to a party. At this "meet the neighbors" gathering, Mitch and company do their best to dig up some dirt to back up their suspicions, but Leeds is a wily woman and proof is harder to find than body fat on Dwayne Johnson or Zac Efron. When packets of a dangerous designer drug pop up, plus a suspicious fire and a couple of corpses, naturally it's up to a few lifeguards to solve the mystery, right? That's what the Baywatch babes and boys think anyway. And that's just part of what's wrong here.

"Baywatch" is mostly ridiculous and unfunny. What passes for character development are back stories which raise more questions than they answer. What passes for acting are one-dimensional characterizations which aren't believable or even sensical. And what passes for humor basically falls into one of three categories: references to the areas of the human body usually covered by swim suits, vomit jokes and seeing how many pop culture references Mitch can come up with to insult young pretty boy Brody (although some were funny) – and the best gags are all in the theatrical trailers. The screenplay, by writing partners Damian Shannon and Mark Swift, puts the characters in situations which are more insulting to the intelligence of the average Movie Fan than they are humorous. Seth Gordon's direction is too weak to make sense of it all or to give the audience more than a few chuckles along the way.

The acting is across-the-board bad, but the worst of the worst is a tie between Bass, for simply doing a 2-hour Josh Gad impression, and Chopra, for showing nowhere near the gravitas or menace necessary to be an effective villain… with a (dis)honorable mention to the usually entertaining Johnson, who ends up in his worst role since 2013's "Pain & Gain". For a few amusing moments and for poking self-aware fun at its source material, the film scores minor points, but it basically can't decide whether it wants to be a comedy, a parody or a drama and it doesn't do any of those very well. (But don't gloat Dax Shepherd. "CHiPs" made most of the same mistakes.) "Baywatch" would be better titled "No Way Watch". This movie is as lame as that pun I just made. In a mid-credits scene, Johnson talks sequel with a cast member from the original TV show. Don't hold your breath, Dwayne. Consider your movie fortunate to get out of this review with a "D+".

I had a really great time watching this movie and I am quite glad I chose it over the Pirates of the Caribbean. There are lots of nice jokes and contrary to my initial thoughts, there are very few nude scenes. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Effron are both great leads and they inarguably take part in all the funny scenes of the movie.

I have to admit that I was quite cautious before going to see the movie due to all the negative reviews and I finally came to a conclusion about all the people who believe that every movie should be reviewed as a potential Oscar nominee! Not all movies have to be "serious" and dramatic. I know most of the reviewers out there were expecting to see something like "The Pianist" when they bought tickets for "Baywatch" and that is the reason why this movie let them down. My advice is to watch movies that make you have a nice time (Baywatch is one of them alongside Piranha 3D, American Pie). Not all movies are filmed in order to become Oscar Nominees! Many of them are made with the goal of making the viewers have a great time! Please take that into account the next time you are criticizing a movie!

Comedy is dead. Baywatch has made me lose any hope of any movie being funny in 2017. If this is the best Hollywood can do, they are done for.

There is no inspiration or creativity to be found. The idea is: Hey, 21 Jump Street was hilarious! What would happen if we did the same thing for (fill in the blank)? 21 Jump Street was one of the rare occasions where a TV-adaptation film was worth seeing, and ultimately, ended up being better than the source material. What was Baywatch originally? A horrible TV show in the 80's. It existed only to show off the glistening, bouncing, beautiful bodies of it's lead actors David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson. There isn't much material to make a film off of. That is, unless, the filmmakers went nuts and turned the source material into an absurd farce.. lets say of the Will Ferrel variety. Instead, Baywatch 2017 is a lopsided, painfully stupid, unbearably dull, cringe- inducing insult to the intelligence of the filmgoing public. Pain and Gain had more nuanced humor. Mike and Dave was the funnier Zac Efron movie. Let that sink it.

I might have said, "This makes no sense", out-loud in the movie theater about 10 times. They made a film completely out of action-comedy clichés, strung together incoherently. The big laugh set- pieces are desperate. One joke in particular is a genital mishap lifted directly from "There's Something About Mary". That joke is 20-years old. If you're going to be a thief, at least steal something timely. The cast might be the only positive thing I can note. They are all really charming, and sexy to look at, but at what cost?

I couldn't think of a worse film to be slated for Memorial Day weekend. This is going to be a long, hot summer of Hollywood failures.

It seems like the studio is trying to inflate the reviews, and now I know why. The movie is not funny at all, don't waste your money. The worst part was when Efron touches a dead man's genitals, disturbing uncomfortable and unnecessary.

The only good thing is the cameo of Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff, but just look for the clips on youtube and you will be totally fine.