I Killed My Mother

I Killed My Mother (2009) is the first film of Xavier Dolan realized a decade ago. I lately discovered it in order to complete the filmography of this brilliant Quebec director. This film focuses on the stormy and tempestuous relationship between a son and his mother, and turns out to be an autofiction, the autobiographical part remaining undisclosed, as in any secret garden.

We distinctively perceive the characteristic atmosphere of Xavier Dolan's filmography: as an excellent habit, this dark and sensual film is based on a hyper sensitivity and a keen sense of photography. Usually, most of the characters are on edge or even disturbed. In this movie, Hubert Minel is the only one. As if, in this partially autobiographical work, Xavier Dolan wanted to assume alone the chaos emanating from this extreme mother-son relationship. In this respect, it's quite successful: he is indeed sometimes an assh*le and deeply disrespectful with his mum and one almost wants to slap him. An elegant way to publicly and solemnly ask for the forgiveness of his tender mother.

As actors, Anne Dorval, Xavier Dolan and Suzanne Clément are truly excellent. As a director, Xavier Dolan offers us a high-quality first film.

Wow...! What a masterpiece... I prefer to believe that Xavier Dolan is not only a shootin star, but a director, actor and writer for history... "J'ai Tué Ma Mére" is one hell of a brilliant tour de force through emotions, love, identity, sexuality.... Xavier is outstanding (as himself??) fighting against himself and his mom and surroundings - the 'battles' with his mom is unique - and the 'love-scene' after 'painting the wall' is truly a highlight.

Almost can't believe a 20-yr old wrote and directed - and played the leading part in - this excellent movie. Don't know why, but when watchin Xavier I'm thinking of James Dean (Rebel Without A Cause)and River Phoenix (My Own Private Idaho)...

Love you Xavier for this - and lookin forward to forthcoming works. So fu***n GREAT!

She: like most mothers she cares for her son and looks after him. She drives him to school, she washes his clothes, she cooks.

The downside: She uses these things as excuses to constantly make him feel guilty, make him feel like he owes her for loving him. She keeps accusing him of being ungrateful (though she never says it directly, but implies it in almost every conversation).

What's (arguably) worse: she refuses to listen to him. When she does listen, she doesn't take him seriously. She avoids confrontation, barring occasional hysterical outbursts.

He: makes it perfectly clear that he doesn't expect her to do all the material things for him that she does, and that he'd much rather fend for himself if that means not having to be made to feel guilty all the time.

She: is a struggling single mother, working each day to try to give him a better future. She has to face self-important people who judge her, but who have no idea about the kind of life she leads.

He: does not understand this. He does not see past her awful taste (in clothes and interior design). He thinks she's superficial. He refuses to let her be a part of his life, he criticizes her every word, her every move. He screams at her, insults her.

She: loves him.

He: loves her too. So much.

J'ai tue ma mere is an unflinchingly honest, masterfully shot portrayal of a strained mother/son relationship. Great actors, beautiful images and, I cannot emphasize this enough, absolutely spectacular technique.

Bravo Xavier Dolan! You have created a true work of art.

"J'ai tue ma mere" seems a little rough around the edges and Xavier Dolan doesn't frame his shots so that they're picture perfect, but it seemed to suit the story. More to the point, what was happening inside the frame was much too interesting, and often moving, and I watched the movie in its entirety from beginning to end.

"J'ai tue ma mere" is the story of a gay teenager and his mother in a single-parent household. Man, do I know that territory well! I don't like the word "dysfunctional" - it's coined psycho-babble. The household depicted here is about as real as I've ever seen in a film. It functions as well as it can given the tight quarters mother and son share. They're continually sparring. Hubert, wary, entirely self-centred and quite the drama queen, goes on rants and tries to push his mother's buttons and test her love, but when he needs a favour, it's back to calling her "mommy". I loved her philosophical stoicism, an attitude she developed, I would guess, to protect herself from hurt, and I was touched by Hubert's back-pedalling when he thinks he's gone too far. Both sweet and raw, this is is a relationship of love. I smiled during the scene when mom brings up his homosexuality and he's caught off-guard. Actually, I smiled for a number of reasons, one of which was because, for once, Hubert was speechless.

The film is open-ended, the way life is, and the way the young view life, far-reaching and full of possibilities. It's a lovely film - warm, frank and not without a little self-deprecating humour and genuine wit (the shot of the Virgin Mary, within a specific context). I was left with the feeling that this was a chapter in a life, a relationship, and I felt optimistic. Perhaps, one day, Xavier Dolan will continue the story on film. I look forward to it.

I just finished watching this film online with poorly translated subtitles which made it difficult to decipher what the characters were saying some of the time, however I got the gist of what was going on.

A few of the reviews I've read have said they couldn't stand the main character and it dragged the film down. I think this film works because the main character is so bratty! He is absolutely wretched to his mother at some points and his mother perfectly nice back to him. One reviewer said they couldn't understand why he was so mean to his mother 'for no reason'. I actually related to Hubert's character getting annoyed at little things because when you're a teenager everything about your parent can annoy you! The first scene is stellar with the mother having cream cheese on her face and it annoying Hubert.

I also believe that him being a 'closeted' gay and wanting freedom from his mother would also have been contributing factors as to why he was such a brat to his mother. The constant struggle between wanting to be independent of your parents but also not being quite old enough to be completely alone and still depending on a parent is what is captured so well in this film. I like that you can see the angst between mother and son from the child's eyes, frustrated yet loving. Hubert is a tortured soul! Everything is a little exaggerated, but wasn't every little problem a big deal when you were 16?

This film was great in my eyes. I got a lot of entertainment from it and it's an amazing effort for the first directorial. It is definitely stylised and borrows from the likes of Wong Kar Wai (violins??) but it suits the film and contemporary setting and interests of young adults today.