Blacklight

..said no one ever, especially after watching this Blacklight mess. If Neeson wasn't in this film, it'd be another failed B-film, but instead, it's another failed B-film with Neeson in it.

It's cheaply produced, amatuerly directed and lazily written - even if it had 3 writers assigned to coming up with a cohesive story, but instead gave us a plot-hole riddled cliche of every other movie in this genre, taped together. It's labeled as an Action and Thriller. Lame and hardly any action, and certainly not thrilling.

The 104 min runtime felt like 3+ hours with the boring and cliched plot, as well as all the filler and very little substance. This felt more like a Dodge promo video with the ridiculously long and pointless car chases. Clearly director Mark Williams was so bored, Neeson had to keep adjusting his rear view mirror. Williams also failed miserably in directing his cast, because they either looked bored, or had horrible acting skills. Even his slow-mo's and 1980's camera work got annoying fast. Don't even get me started on the terrible editing. Couldn't they cut out the parts where Neeson is out of breath and looks like he needs a hip replacement? I'm thinking Neeson has to stop working with Williams, before he becomes another Bruce Willis has-been, or is it too late? 5/10.

It's hard to believe that someone made this story with such a dumb and improbable script. To make things worse, most of the acting is mediocre, except for the two women who played the reporters. And maybe Liam is getting a little old for these types of roles.

The trailer for this looked really nice so I was looking forward to seeing it. What a letdown! Admittedly there are a few good action scenes here, but they're all shown in the trailer and everything between is a drag. Neeson is on autopilot and seems like a supporting player in his own movie, and the younger characters who get way too much screen time simply aren't of interest. Not the worst Neeson film you'll see, but there's little to get excited about here.

Pretty weak. 5 of 10, I can think of 5 taken jokes.

This movie is a milli-Taken.

I found myself Taken a nap.

The only thing remotely Taken was my 9 bucks.

I wish I'd have Taken a 5-hr energy.

All the scenes only needed 1 Take.

At least Cold Pursuit was funny.

On the plus side - the theater was warmer than my car outside.

Ever since 2019, it seems like Liam Neeson has made starring in mediocre action thrillers somewhat of a habit. "Cold Pursuit" wasn't the best thriller ever, but with its black comedy and serviceable performances, it was unique enough that it warranted a viewing. "Honest Thief" and "The Marksman" were two films that I have begun to dislike more with each passing day - "Honest Thief" took an interesting concept and destroyed it with wooden acting, incomprehensible editing, and piss-poor, infrequent action sequences; "The Marksman" was just boring (and let's not even mention "The Ice Road," which is one of the most embarrassing things I've ever seen, second to my own reflection). With all of that said, "Blacklight" is kind of a remarkable film - remarkable that it was released in theatres instead of straight to DVD.

I knew this movie was going to be bad based on one specific thing - its director. Directed by Mark Williams, who also directed "Honest Thief," I should've taken Mr. Williams' name as a stark warning for me to avoid seeing this in theatres and instead do literally anything else with my time. "Blacklight" is less an action film and more of a political thriller, and when I say political thriller, I mean it is a movie where people have long, arduous, drawn out conversations about politics, politicians, and political espionage and conspiracy. I. E., this is a boring movie.

I found myself struggling, and failing, to stay awake while watching this. "Blacklight" is not an action movie - it is a movie where two people at a time (always two people at a time, the movie barely has any sequences where more than two people are talking to each other at the same time - must've been too expensive to film) talk to each other about dull and uninteresting topics. Director Mark Williams seems to not realize what makes dialogue engaging to watch; scene after scene, "Blacklight" depicts people conversing - now some of my favorite movies are full of interesting, tight dialogue. This movie is not.

But you don't care about the conversations! You're going to see this movie for its purported hard-edged, brutal action! You want to see Liam Neeson get down and dirty and do what he does best! In that case, you should go to your local Best Buy, buy "Taken," and watch that instead. "Blacklight" does not have much action in it, and when there is action, it's the most mediocre, generic, pedestrian action I've seen since the kung-fu film I made in middle school (shouts out to Albert). One compliment I can give is that the action is edited slightly better than it was in "Honest Thief." When fists are thrown you can see the hits connect, and the climactic gunfight is mildly exciting, and then inexplicably ruined by a drastic, random change in editing that turns the sequence into a borderline seizure inducing mess - seriously, if you have epilepsy, you're better off leaving the theatre at the start of the third act gunfight, and never returning.

Nowadays, going to watch a Liam Neeson movie is like returning home to an abusive spouse - they might end up surprising you with moments of genuine love and tenderness, but more often than not they'll beat you into submission. "Blacklight" beat me into submission. And in fact, I'm considering placing a restraining order on director Mark Williams. Liam's name used to mean something in the wild world of action films. "The Commuter," "Run All Night," and "Non-Stop" are three semi-recent Neeson films that are genuinely good, and of high quality. Now, Mr. Neeson is starring in direct to DVD embarrassments that legitimately make sitting at home and staring at the ceiling a more thrilling activity. In conclusion: It's God's own mystery why I spent $11 on this.