Matt Smith credited as playing...
Parson Collins
- Parson Collins: I was unaware that zombies possessed such acuity so as to set such traps. Before we know it, they'll be running for Parliament.
- Parson Collins: Oh, is there some sort of trouble?
- [the sisters draw their swords]
- Parson Collins: Oh, it appears there is.
- George Wickham: The crown's funds are being drained.
- Mr. Darcy: [incredulous] You're here to solicit money!
- George Wickham: I'm here to propose a venture that would end the war forever. These new zombies can be reasoned with. With the proper funding I believe we can cultivate trust and even good will with this new iteration of the undead, who seem to posses an inherent power of the lower ranks of their kind.
- Lady Catherine de Bourgh: [starts laughing, not believing] Zombie aristocrats?
- Parson Collins: [smirking] Oh, really!
- George Wickham: I prefer to think of them as souls lost in purgatory.
- Lady Catherine de Bourgh: [considering] Hmm.
- George Wickham: The common hordes look to them for leadership. It takes just one of them to realize that power and then to lead the hordes into battle.
- Lady Catherine de Bourgh: The undead are like locusts!
- Parson Collins: [still smirking] Locusts.
- Lady Catherine de Bourgh: [now determined] They go forth and destroy. They have no use for leaders!
- Parson Collins: Oh, uh, except one actually.
- Lady Catherine de Bourgh: [turning] Hmm?
- Parson Collins: Oh, well, um, according to the Book of Revelation the antichrist shall lead the undead, uh, on the day that shall be the last day of mankind.
- Mrs. Bennet: Do not worry, Mr. Collins, she shall be brought to reason.
- Parson Collins: Oh good!
- Elizabeth Bennet: No.
- Parson Collins: Oh no.
- Parson Collins: Is there absolutely no negotiation over Jane?
- Mrs. Bennet: The early bird catches the worm, Mr. Collins.
- Parson Collins: Indeed.
- Mr. Bennet: Be mindful of your talent for the delicate compliments, sir.
- Parson Collins: I will, of course, require you to retire your warrior skills as part of the marital submission. We absolutely can't have swords in the home.
- Parson Collins: Mr. Darcy, I have made the most incredible discovery. Nay, tosh, an extraordinary discovery. Sir, you are the nephew of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
- Mr. Darcy: I know.