The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Grasshopper Experiment (2007)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Penny : Sheldon, what are you going to have?
Sheldon : I'll have a Diet Coke.
Penny : Okay, can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks.
Sheldon : Fine. I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre.
Penny : That's, um, Rum and Coke without the Rum.
Sheldon : Yes.
Penny : So, Coke.
Sheldon : Yes... And would you make it Diet?
Penny : There's a can in the fridge.
Sheldon : A Cuba Libre traditionally comes in a tall glass with a lime wedge.
Penny : Then swim to Cuba.
Sheldon : Bartenders are supposed to have people skills.
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Penny : I need some guinea pigs.
Sheldon : O-kay, there's a lab animal supply company in Reseda you could try. But if your research is going to have human applications, may I suggest white mice instead; their brain chemistry is far closer to ours.
Penny : I swear to God, Sheldon, one day I'm going to get the hang of talking to you.
Leonard : His mom's been saying that for years.
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Sheldon : [on the phone] This is Doctor Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I need to cancel my membership to the Planetarium... Well I'm sorry too, but there's just no room for you in my wallet... Yeah, I understand, but it was between you and the Museum of Natural History, and frankly, you don't have dinosaurs... Well I'll miss you too. Bye bye.
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Howard Wolowitz : I bet they love "Scrubs".
Sheldon : What's there not to love.
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Raj Koothrappali : Go ahead, tell my parents why they won't have any grandchildren.
Sheldon : How would I know? Do you have a low sperm count?
Raj Koothrappali : This has nothing to do with my sperm count.
Mrs. Koothrappali : You are wearing the boxers that we sent you, aren't you?
Raj Koothrappali : Yes, Mumi.
Mrs. Koothrappali : Because you know what happens to the samosas when you wear tighty-whities.
Raj Koothrappali : Can we please stop talking about my testicles? Sheldon, tell them what you did.
Sheldon : What did I do?
Leonard : You left with his date. Friends don't do that to each other.
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Sheldon Cooper : I can practically smell the lotus blossoms woven into your ebony hair.
Lalita Gupta : Well thanks. I imagine you smell very nice too.
Sheldon Cooper : I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can.
Lalita Gupta : Really? So do I.
Raj Koothrappali : But you're a dentist. He's nuts.
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Lalita Gupta : So Sheldon, tell me more about this princess you say I look like.
Sheldon Cooper : It was said that the gods fashioned her eyes out of the stars and that roses were ashamed to bloom in the presence of her ruby lips.
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Sheldon Cooper : How often does one see a beloved fictional character come to life?
Howard Wolowitz : Every year at Comic Con. Every day at Disneyland. You can hire Snow White to come to your house... Of course, they prefer it if you have a kid.
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Leonard Hofstadter : So you're not going to see her again?
Sheldon Cooper : Why would I see her again? I already have a dentist.
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Raj Koothrappali : Haven't you been listening to me? I cannot talk to women!
Leonard : ...Um, Raj...
Wolowitz : No no, let's see how long it takes him.
Penny : Raj, you say you can't talk to women, but you've been talking to me!
Sheldon : And now we'll never know.