The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Loobenfeld Decay (2008)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : [Leonard lied to Penny] So, lack of a physiological reaction while lying is characteristic of a violent sociopath.
Leonard : Sheldon, are you worried about your safety?
Sheldon Cooper : No. I imagine if you were going to kill me, you'd have done it a long time ago.
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[as Penny sings]
Leonard : What the hell is that?
Sheldon Cooper : I don't know, but if cats could sing... they'd hate it too.
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Penny : Do you have any idea what time it is?
Sheldon Cooper : Of course I do. My watch is linked to the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado. It's accurate to one-tenth of a second. But as I'm saying this, it occurs to me that once again your question may have been rhetorical.
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Leonard : I already told her a lie. Why replace it with a different lie?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, first of all, your lie was laughably transparent, where mine is exquisitely convoluted. While you were sleeping, I was weaving an un-unravelable web.
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Sheldon Cooper : Remember how Leonard told you we couldn't come to your performance because we were attending a symposium on molecular positronium?
Penny : I remember symposium.
Sheldon Cooper : Yes, well, he lied.
Penny : Wait, what?
Sheldon Cooper : He lied, and I'm feeling very uncomfortable about it.
Penny : Well, imagine how I'm feeling.
Sheldon Cooper : Hungry? Tired? I'm sorry this really isn't my strong suit.
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[first lines]
Leonard : No, see, the liquid metal terminators were created in the future by Skynet, and Skynet was developed by Miles Dyson but that future no longer exists due to Dyson's death in Terminator 2.
Sheldon Cooper : Okay. Then riddle me this: assuming all the good Terminators were originally evil Terminators created by Skynet but then reprogrammed by the future John Connor, why would Skynet, an artificial computer intelligence, bother to create a petite, hot, 17-year old killer robot?
Leonard : Skynet is kinky? I dunno.
Sheldon Cooper : Artificial intelligences do not have teen fetishes.
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Sheldon Cooper : [discussing why Leonard lied to Penny to get out of hearing her sing] Then I suppose you could have agreed to go.
Leonard : And, what would I have said afterwards?
Sheldon Cooper : I would suggest something to the effect of: "Singing is neither an appropriate vocation, nor avocation for you, and if you disagree, I'd recommend you have a CAT scan to look a tumor pressing on the cognitive processing centers of your brain!"
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[last lines]
Toby : [on couch with Penny] This is amazing. Just sitting on a couch watching TV with a woman. Not being drunk or, or high, or, or wondering if you're a dude down there.
Penny : Leo, you are a very sweet, really funny guy. You're going to do OK.
Toby : One day at a time, Penny.
[puts his head on her shoulder]
Toby : One day at a time.
Leonard : [in kitchen, to Sheldon] How long is he going to stay here?
Sheldon Cooper : He's a homeless drug addict, Leonard; where is he going to go? Boy, you have a lot to learn about lying.
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Toby : How about this as my motivation? When I was fourteen years old, I was abused in the Philippines by a clubfooted Navy chaplain.
Sheldon Cooper : No. We're going with middle child and a genetic predisposition to inadequate serotonin production.
Toby : Well, how do I play genetic predisposition?
Sheldon Cooper : Subtextually, of course!
