Rob Riggle credited as playing...
Officer Franklin
- Officer Franklin: [to a group of schoolchildren] Ok, kids, you're in for a real treat today. These gentlemen have kindly volunteered to demonstrate how a stun gun is used to subdue a suspect... Now, there's two ways to use a stun gun: up close and personal
- [tasers Stu in the neck; Stu collapses]
- Officer Franklin: ... or you can shoot it from a distance. Now, do I have any volunteers? You want to come up here and do some shooting, huh? Alright. How about you, young lady? Come on up here.
- Officer Franklin: Alright. Let's go, handsome. Come on.
- [Alan steps forward]
- Officer Franklin: Not you, fat Jesus. Slide it on back.
- [to Phil]
- Officer Franklin: You, pretty boy.
- Officer Franklin: [to girl] Alright. Now, it's real simple. All you got to do is point, aim and shoot. Alright?
- Phil Wenneck: You don't really want to do this.
- Officer Franklin: You can do this. Just focus.
- Phil Wenneck: Don't listen to this maniac. Let's think this thing through.
- Officer Franklin: *Finish him!*
- [the girl tasers Phil]
- Officer Franklin: Right in the nuts! That was beautiful! Well done! Giver her a hand, everybody. Good job! Well done! Good job! That was great!
- Officer Franklin: Look, hey, we got one more charge left. Anybody want to do some shooting up here? How about you, big man? Come on up here. Okay, same instructions: just point, aim and shoot. There y'go. That's the stuff. I like the intensity, eye of the tiger. You're holding 50,000 volts, little man. Don't be afraid to ride the lightning.
- [the kid tasers Alan]
- Officer Franklin: *In the face! In the face!*
- Stu Price: You found the car?
- Officer Franklin: Yeah! It was parked in the middle of Las Vegas Blvd. with a note that said "Couldn't find a meter, so here's $4."
- Officer Franklin: I see guys like you in here every fuckin' day.
- Officer Garden: Every fuckin' day!
- Officer Franklin: Yeah let's all go to Vegas and get really fucked up!
- Officer Garden: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
- Officer Franklin: Let's go steal a cop car because it'd be real fuckin' funny!
- Officer Garden: [to Phil, Stu, and Alan, after they are taken in for stealing a police car] Think you gon' get away with it? Not up in here!
- Officer Franklin: [lividly] Not up in here!