Rachael Harris credited as playing...
Melissa
- Alan Garner: It was a real pleasure meeting you.
- Melissa: Fuck off!
- Alan Garner: I'm thinking about getting my bartender's license.
- Melissa: Suck my dick.
- Alan Garner: No, thank you.
- Melissa: Why would you go to Las Vegas?
- Stu Price: 'Cause my best friend was getting married, and that's what guys do.
- Melissa: That's not what *you* do.
- Stu Price: Really? Well, then why did I do it? Huh? 'Cause I did it! Riddle me that! Why'd I do it? You know, sometimes I think all you want me to do is what you want me to do. Well, I'm sick of doing what you want me to do all the time. I think, in a healthy relationship, sometimes a guy should be able to do what he wants to do.
- Melissa: That is not how this works!
- Stu Price: Oh, good! Because whatever this is ain't workin' for me!
- Melissa: Oh, really? Since when?
- Stu Price: Since you fucked that waiter on your cruise last June! BOOM!
- Alan Garner: You told me it was a bartender.
- Stu Price: Oh! You're right. I stand corrected. It was a bartender. You fucked a bartender.
- Melissa: You're an idiot!
- Stu Price: You're a - You...
- [struggles]
- Stu Price: You're... such a bad person! Like, all the way through to your core!
- Melissa: I just wish your friends were as mature as you.
- Stu Price: They are mature, actually. You just have to get to know them better.
- Phil Wenneck: [yells from outside] Paging Dr. Faggot. Dr. Faggot!
- Stu Price: I should go.
- Melissa: That's a good idea, Dr. Faggot.