- Lacey Burrows: [about the Dog River Youngish Women's Association] If I join I can nominate someone as a Distinguished Woman.
- Brent LeRoy: What's their definition of distinguished?
- Hank Yarbo: A woman who was on fire and they put her out.
- Lacey Burrows: It's a woman who's distinguished herself.
- Hank Yarbo: Oh. That's even harder.
- [Karen beats Hank at table hockey]
- Hank Yarbo: Man, that was unbelievable! I mean, you wouldn't be able to beat Brent, but...
- Davis Quinton: Oh, I don't know. She's pretty good.
- Hank Yarbo: Yeah, but Brent's the best, you know. I mean, when it comes to table hockey, he's king of the knobs.
- Karen Pelly: That's pretty high praise considering the source.
- Lacey Burrows: What have you done for the community lately?
- Emma Leroy: Pardon?
- Lacey Burrows: You know, what have you done for the community? I was just wondering.
- Emma Leroy: What about "How's the weather?" or "How's your health?"
- Lacey Burrows: Sorry. How are you feeling?
- Emma Leroy: Good. Can't complain.
- Lacey Burrows: Okay. What have you done for the community?
- Brent LeRoy: [before Game 1 of the table hockey series] So you've trained pretty hard. I heard you've been jogging.
- Karen Pelly: I heard you've been drinking.
- Brent LeRoy: Well, I don't want to brag...
- [before the final game]
- Wanda Dollard: [Brent's table hockey coach] If this game is tied, then the series will be tied.
- Davis Quinton: [Karen's table hockey coach] We'll have scored more goals. I'll be claiming victory.
- Wanda Dollard: You'll be claiming dental surgery.
- Hank Yarbo: [Comes up to Brent sitting at the bar] Hey Brent, you think you should be here drinking?
- Brent LeRoy: Where should I be drinking, at the playground?
- Emma Leroy: Why would I want to come with you to the Dog River Youngish Women's Association?
- Lacey Burrows: You're being honoured! I didn't tell you because it was supposed to be a surprise.
- Emma Leroy: Why me?
- Lacey Burrows: I thought you were unappreciated.
- Emma Leroy: Wow, when's the ceremony?
- Lacey Burrows: Tomorrow!
- Emma Leroy: But that's when Brent and Karen play the final game!
- Lacey Burrows: Oh, but you deserve this, Emma! This is about women coming together, honouring each other, celebrating what it is that keeps our womanness.
- [Emma stares at her]
- Lacey Burrows: I'll give you a hundred bucks.
- Emma Leroy: Alrighty then.
- Davis Quinton: [to Karen] You may have lost, partner. But you played one hell of a series.
- Karen Pelly: Yeah. It reminds me of something, but I don't know what.
- Oscar Leroy: Yeah. That'll go down in Dog River history.
- Wanda Dollard: They'll be talkin' about it 30 years from now.
- Brent LeRoy: [to the adoring crowd] Aw, go on. It was nothin'.
- [sentimental music plays, Brent is now sitting on a park bench, he has white hair and face wrinkles, and there are two children beside him]
- Boy: Tell us again about the time you won the Table Hockey Series!
- Brent LeRoy: That was weeks ago, kid. Can't you see I got a costume party to go to?
- [Hank enters, dressed as a vampire]
- Hank Yarbo: Come on, man, let's go.