Fishtales

The only good thing in this movie are the quotes. It's all so corny and ridiculous, my family quotes it all the time.

Der Schnibbler was too kind when he called this movie jagged. The screenwriter seems to have no clue about anything. I howled in the beginning when Billy Zane's character is warned of the precarious position of a "visiting professor emeritus." ("Emeritus" is a fancy word for "retired", hardly appropriate for the youthful Zane, and visitors don't retire because they never had a permanent job in the first place.) The mermaid doesn't make any attempt to hide herself, but the villagers are unaware of her. When the daughter first encounters her, both characters are unsurprised and swim together like old friends, with no hesitation or getting-to-know-you scenes. I could go on and on.

The filmmakers seem to have been making up the plot as they went along, while suffering some sort of amnesia as to what came before. Yes, it's a fantasy, but there is zero internal logic. And whenever they run out of ideas, they resort to gross-out jokes. (TWO crotch blows in 15 seconds? Give me a break.)

I will, however, admit that all the leads are photogenic. I hope that next time they will read the script before signing up.

Dr. Thomas Bradley (Billy Zane) is a bumbling Oxford University professor of classical Greece. He is given one more summer to finish his database of ancient Greek. Another professor offers him a villa in Spetses, Greece. He travels there with his 12 year old daughter Serena. Captain Mavros sends him overboard. Thomas can't swim and he's rescued by mermaid Neried (Kelly Brook). Serena is looking for love for his father and asks Neried to translated old writings.

This is sort of like a bad kids movie. It's got sloppy slapstick. Billy Zane is wrong for a bumbling professor but the little girl is perfectly fine. I can't believe this got shown in Cannes. That is the last place to show this. This is a weakly made kids fantasy. It's more straight to video.

This 2007 movie titled "Fishtales" from writers Alki David and Melissa Painter sort of felt a bit like the 1984 classic "Splash" movie starring Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah, except "Fishtales" had no splash and had no Hanks or Hannah.

The storyline in "Fishtales" as presented by director Alki David was watchable, to a certain degree, but it was hardly a captivating or interesting storyline. And the pacing of the story was very, very slow, and that left the movie feeling very mundane for me.

"Fishtales" has Billy Zane on the cast list, which should be an indicator of you liking it or not. In my opinion, as I am not a fan of his, then I will go as far as to say that this movie was hardly among some of his better or memorable performances.

I believe that a movie like "Fishtales" might find a fan base in a younger adult female audience base. So I fell very short of that particular audience group.

While I managed to endure through the entire course of the movie, I can't claim to have been entertained or particularly enjoying the movie.

My rating of "Fishtales" lands on a mere three out of ten stars. The movie just didn't offer anything worthwhile for me, nor did it bring anything outstanding to the cinematic experience.

This movie is very fun to watch. It's not the best directed nor is it a masterpiece of any kind, but I guarantee it will make you laugh and feel cozy on the inside if you are just looking for a fun movie to watch with the family. The movie has a good enough plot to keep you entertained and the acting is not the best but will not leave you cringing. I always come back after some time to watch it and laugh again at its quirky nature. The characters are endearing and the setting is charming, making it a delightful escape from reality. Plus, the humor is light-hearted and perfect for all ages. Whether it's the slapstick moments or the heartfelt scenes, there's something for everyone to enjoy.