Andy Serkis credited as playing...
Gollum
- Gollum: Is he lost?
- Bilbo Baggins: Yes, yes, and I want to get unlost... as soon as possible!
- Gollum: Oh! We knows! We knows safe paths for hobbitses! Safe paths in the dark... SHUT UP!
- Bilbo Baggins: I didn't say anything...
- Gollum: Wasn't talking to you!
- Bilbo Baggins: Why don't we have a game of riddles... Just, just you and me.
- Gollum: [comes towards Bilbo; as Friendly Gollum] Just... Just us?
- Bilbo Baggins: Yes... Yes! And if I win, you...
- [gestures]
- Bilbo Baggins: ...You show me the way out, yes?
- Gollum: [nods] Yes, Yes...
- [Gollum's pupils narrow as he becomes Treacherous Gollum. He growls as he back into the shadows; Bilbo looks uneasy]
- Gollum: [sinister whisper] And if it loses... what then?
- [Gollum blinks; as Friendly Gollum]
- Gollum: Well... if it loses, Precious. then we EATS it!
- [Gollum giggles sinisterly; then he turns to Bilbo]
- Gollum: [casually] And if Baggins loses, then we eats it whole.
- [Gollum smiles and shrugs]
- Bilbo Baggins: [after a long pause] Fair enough.
- Gollum: [to Bilbo; after answering the first riddle] Our turn...
- [reciting riddle; as he recites, Gollum menacingly creeps around a rock, not taking his eyes off of Bilbo, who slowly and cautiously steps away from him]
- Gollum: Voiceless it cries; Wingless flutters; Toothless bites; Mouthless mutters.
- [he glares at Bilbo deviously]
- Bilbo Baggins: Just a minute...
- [Bilbo walks away to think]
- Gollum: [his pupils widen; as Friendly Gollum] Ooo, Ooo! We knows! We knows!
- [as treacherous Gollum]
- Gollum: Shut up!
- Bilbo Baggins: [Bilbo sees ripples in the lake, made by the wind; he smiles] Wind...
- Bilbo Baggins: [turning to Gollum] It's wind, 'course it is.
- [Gollum growls]
- Gollum: [prowling towards Bilbo] Very clever, hobbitses... VERY CLEVER...
- Bilbo Baggins: [holds out his sword towards Gollum, stopping him; reciting] A... A box without hinges, key, or-or lid... and yet, golden treasure inside is... hid.
- Gollum: [Gollum creeps away to think; as he is thinking, he begins to mutter and whisper to himself] Box... um uh... Box... lid... and a key...
- Bilbo Baggins: Well?
- Gollum: [annoyed; pointing at Bilbo] It's nah-stee.
- [He continues to whisper to himself]
- Bilbo Baggins: Give up?
- Gollum: [strained] Oh, give us a chance, precious! Give us a CHANCE!
- [Gollum continues to groan, growl, grunt and hiss in frusteration. As he thinks, he makes faces; making "oo" sounds and blowing raspberry sounds with his lips stretched when suddenly, his eyes open wide and his mouth is agape]
- Gollum: *EGGSES!*
- [Gollum chuckles as Bilbo shakes his head, dismayed]
- Gollum: Eggses! Wet, crunchy little eggses! Grandmother taught us how to suck them, yes! heh, heh...
- Bilbo Baggins: [1st riddle] Thirty white horses, on a red hill; First, they champ. Then they stand; the, they stand still.
- [Gollum pauses; thinking]
- Gollum: [unsure] Uh... Teeth?
- [Bilbo looks defeated]
- Gollum: [excitedly] TEETH!
- [Gollum laughs; Bilbo smiles half-heartedly]
- Gollum: Yes! my precious!
- [inhales deeply]
- Gollum: [very serious] But we, we... we only have... NINE.
- [He bares his nine, crooked, yet sharp teeth; to show emphasis]
- Gollum: [searching for "his precious"; the one ring; wails in despair] Lost! My precious is LOOOOSSST!
- [Gollum lets out a gasping sob; Bilbo takes the One Ring out of his pocket and hides it behind his back]
- Bilbo Baggins: [concerned] What have you lost?
- Gollum: [crying] Mustn't ask us! Not its business! Noooo... Gollum! Gollum!
- [Gollum sobs softly]
- Bilbo Baggins: [feeling the One Ring in his pocket; to himself] What... have I got... in my pocket?
- [Gollum; who is crouching on a stalagmite, holding a rock he is meaning to throw at Bilbo, scowls, thinking Bilbo's question as a riddle]
- Gollum: That's not fair... That's not fair! It's against the *rules*!
- [In a hissy fit, Gollum throws the rock down. Bilbo looks on in amazement]
- Gollum: [pouting] Ask us another one!
- Bilbo Baggins: [points his sword at Gollum] No, no. You said, "ask me a question." Well, *That* is MY question. "What Have I Got In My Pocket?"
- [Gollum growls in reluctance as he jumps down from his stalagmite perch and crouches on the floor beside his hideout]
- Gollum: [holding up only two fingers] It must give us three guesses, precious! It must give us *three*!
- Bilbo Baggins: Three guesses, very well. Guess away!
- Gollum: [holds up his hands] Handses!
- Bilbo Baggins: [shows Gollum that his left hand is out of the pocket] Wrong. Try again.
- [Gollum groans in frustration]
- Gollum: [rummaging through his belongings in his hole; to himself] I've got Fishses bones, Goblinses bones, Bat's wings, food...
- [He growls; thinking hard; he slaps his hands down repeatedly when...]
- Gollum: [shouts] *KNIFE*! Oh, shut up!
- Bilbo Baggins: Wrong again. Last guess.
- Gollum: String... or nothing!
- Bilbo Baggins: Two guesses at once. Wrong both times.
- Gollum: [groans; defeated] Ooooooohhh...
- [as he groans; Gollum flops on his side. He lies in a fetal position as he sobs softly]
- [Bilbo is trying to escape Gollum and gets stuck in a crevice. Gollum sees him. With an angry screech, Gollum prowls towards him]
- Gollum: [ferociously] It's ours... It's...
- [snarls]
- Gollum: OURS!
- [as Gollum shrieks, Bilbo unsticks himself; his brass buttons from his vest pop and fly. Gollum looks startled as one of the buttons bounces off his nose]
- Gollum: [having discovered Bilbo; maliciously gleeful] Bless us and splash us, precious! THAT'S a meaty mouthful. ah...
- [Gollum creeps forward; Bilbo lifts up his sword so that it's tip touches Gollum's throat. Gollum gawks at the blade, taken aback]
- Gollum: Ah... Gollum, Gollum! Ack!
- [He glares at Bilbo fearfully and slowly backs away]
- Gollum: Ahh. We have one for you: All things it devours, birds, beasts, trees, flowers. Gnaws iron, bites steel, grinds hard stones to meal. Answer us.
- Bilbo Baggins: Give me a moment, please, I gave you a good long while. Please. Please. Please. I don't know this one.
- Gollum: Is it tasty? Is it scrumptious? Is it crunchable?
- Bilbo Baggins: Let me think. Let me think.
- Gollum: It's stuck. Bagginses is stuck. Time's up.
- Bilbo Baggins: Time. Ti - the answer is time. Actually, it wasn't that hard.
- [Gollum discovers that Bilbo has the One Ring in his possession]
- Gollum: [horrified whisper] He stole it.
- [Bilbo stands there; holding Sting out in front of him]
- Gollum: [anger rising] He stole it!
- [Gollum's face contorts with rage; then he lets out a scream of extreme fury]
- Gollum: [shouts] AAAAARRRRAAAAHHHHH! He *STOLE* it!
- [as he says this, Gollum throws a stone at Bilbo, who blocks it with his sword. The rock hits and bounces off the sword with a "clang". Bilbo immediately bolts for his life. Gollum screams in fury as he chases after him]
- Gollum: Oh! We like Goblinses, batses, and fishes, but we hasn't tried Hobbitses before. Is it soft? Is it juicy?
- Gollum: Lost? Lost? Lost? Where is it? Where is it? No! Ahh! Where is it? No! No! Lost! Curses and splashes, my precious is lost!
- Bilbo Baggins: What have you lost?
- Gollum: Mustn't ask us! Not its business! No! Gollum, Gollum.
- Gollum: It's got an elfish blade, but it's not an Elfs. Not an Elfs, no. What is it, Precious? What is it?
- Gollum: What has roots as nobody sees, is taller than trees. Up, up, up it goes, and yet, never grows.
- Bilbo Baggins: The mountain.
- Gollum: Yes, yes, oh, let's have another one, eh? Yes, come on, do it again, do it - do it again. Ask us.