Richard Jenkins credited as playing...
Ted
- Chad Feldheimer: This is some heavy shit.
- Linda Litzke: Is that my date list?
- Chad Feldheimer: No, fuck.
- Linda Litzke: You know, I'm trying to reinvent myself, and these procedures, which are so incredibly not cheap... What is that?
- Chad Feldheimer: I can't believe this. This is like intelligence shit.
- Ted Treffon: I'm not comfortable with this.
- Chad Feldheimer: This is like... I can't believe this shit I'm seeing.
- Ted Treffon: Manolo found it.
- Manolo: On the floor there.
- Chad Feldheimer: Yeah. Manolo found like this CD just lying in a locker, a locker floor, ladies' locker. I'm like, "What, someone's music or what?" And I come in here, and it's these files, man.
- Ted Treffon: I'm not comfortable with this.
- Chad Feldheimer: Talking about SIGINT and signals and shit and... "Signals" means "code", you know.
- Manolo: It was just lying there.
- Chad Feldheimer: Talking here about department heads and their names and shit. And then there's these other files that are just, like, numbers. Arrayed. Numbers and dates and numbers and numbers and dates.And numbers and... I think that's the shit, man... The raw intelligence.
- Ted Treffon: I'm not touching this. I want this out of here.
- Chad Feldheimer: Just throw it out?
- Linda Litzke: No. You can't do that. You should put up a note in the ladies' locker room.
- Chad Feldheimer: Put up a note? "Highly classified shit found?" "Signals intelligence shit? CIA shit?" "Hello! Did anybody lose their secret CIA shit?" I don't think so.
- Ted Treffon: I don't know, you figure it out, but I'm not comfortable with this, and I want this out of Hardbodies. We're running a gym here. God.
- Chad Feldheimer: Manolo, you didn't find this.
- Manolo: I found it on the floor there.
- Chad Feldheimer: Yeah, I know, but...
- Manolo: Right there on the floor there. Just lying there.
- Osbourne Cox: And you're my wife's lover?
- Ted Treffon: [shaking his head] No.
- Osbourne Cox: Then what are you doing here?
- [pause]
- Osbourne Cox: I know you. You're the guy from the gym.
- Ted Treffon: I'm not here representing HardBodies.
- Osbourne Cox: Oh, yes. I know very well what you represent.
- [pause]
- Osbourne Cox: You represent the idiocy of today.
- Ted Treffon: No, I don't represent that either.
- Osbourne Cox: Yeah. You're the guy at the gym when I asked about that moronic woman.
- Ted Treffon: She's not a moron.
- Osbourne Cox: You're in league with that moronic woman. You are part of a league of morons.
- Ted Treffon: No. No.
- Osbourne Cox: Oh, yes. You see, you're one of the morons I've been fighting my whole life. My whole fucking life. But guess what... Today, I win.
- [gun shot]
- Ted Treffon: You're a beautiful woman. You don't need...
- Linda Litzke: I've gone about as far as I can go with this body, Ted.
- Ted Treffon: I think it's a beautiful - It's not a phony-baloney Hollywood body.
- Linda Litzke: That's right Ted, I would be laughed out of Hollywood. I have very limited breasts, a ginormous ass, and I've got this gut that swings back and forth in front of me like a shopping cart with a bent wheel.
- Ted Treffon: You know, there a lot of guys out there who would like you just the way you are.
- Linda Litzke: Yeah, losers.
- Ted Treffon: Linda, what do you really know about this guy?
- Linda Litzke: I told you, he's in the Treasury Department.
- Ted Treffon: But eh, no, I mean, you know... he could be one of these guys that cruises the Internet.
- Linda Litzke: Yeah, so am I...