Fred Tatasciore credited as playing...
Damon Baird • Locust Drone B • Victim #2 Stranded • Berserker
- Marcus Fenix: Baird, what's the status on that APC?
- Damon Baird: [over radio] The status is that it sucks.
- Marcus Fenix: Control, could you give us Delta Two's location?
- Anya: [over radio] GID readings are faint. Looks like... the sewer system?
- Damon Baird: [over radio] There's shit everywhere!
- Augustus Cole: [over radio] C'mon, Baird! A little bit of this is good for you! Builds your immune system.
- Damon Baird: [over radio] Yeah, it also builds disease. Delta Two out.
- Dominic Santiago: ...No way.
- Marcus Fenix: Sucks to be them.
- Marcus Fenix: Cole, what's you're status?
- Augustus Cole: Shit yeah, baby we got the hook-up! They given us a big-ass dinner!
- Damon Baird: We are gonna get dysentery from this shit.
- Augustus Cole: Baird's havin a hard time adjustin, you know.
- Marcus Fenix: Tell Baird to shut up and eat, we'll be back soon.
- Augustus Cole: Copy that, Cole out.
- Marcus Fenix: Baird, what's up?
- Damon Baird: [through the comm. system] Oh, it's bullshit. Somebody figured out that Cole use to play Thrashball, and now it's all:
- Damon Baird: [feminine voice] "Oh, Cole Train! Tell us about that play again!"
- Damon Baird: - and...
- Damon Baird: [feminine voice] "Number 83, sign my shirt!"
- Damon Baird: Corpser!
- Marcus Fenix: It's pulling back.
- Damon Baird: Yah, it's gonna wait. Save us for later.
- [ominously]
- Damon Baird: Like a snack.
- Marcus Fenix: Bullshit.
- Damon Baird: You think I'm kidding?
- Marcus Fenix: I think you're bat-shit crazy. That's what I think.
- Augustus Cole: Aww, ain't that cute.
- Dominic Santiago: Like two assholes on their first date.
- Augustus Cole: [laughs]
- Dominic Santiago: [hearing odd sound] Did you hear that? What the hell's that sound?
- Marcus Fenix: It's just the wind.
- Dominic Santiago: Yeah. Right. When was the last time the wind said "hostiles" to you?
- Dominic Santiago: [noticing odd Locust soldier] Uhh... Those aren't drones.
- Marcus Fenix: Shit... Looks like they upgraded.
- Damon Baird: [on radio] They're called Theron Guards.
- Dominic Santiago: You think they know what we're doing?
- Marcus Fenix: Well, we're not here to sell cookies... So they know something's up.
- Kim: Alpha, this is Delta, we have visual on your position.
- Damon Baird: We'd like to have your ammo on our position right now!
- Kim: Roger that, sit tight.
- Augustus Cole: Who loves ya, baby?
- Damon Baird: Yeah yeah yeah group hug... Where's Rojas?
- Augustus Cole: [shakes head]
- Damon Baird: Hi boys!
- Marcus Fenix: [looks down to see Cole and Baird in the sewers] I could smell you guys from a mile away.
- Damon Baird: Hey, why don't you come down here and join us? There's room for one more! It's a fucking party down here!
- Damon Baird: [Baird and Cole get split up from the other two, having failed to jump on a passing train] Dammit, we suck!
- Damon Baird: What, there's Stranded here?
- Dominic Santiago: Yep, there's a camp just ahead.
- Damon Baird: So what, you, like, hang out with Stranded?
- Dominic Santiago: I don't "hang out" with them, dickwad. I'm looking for somebody.
- Marcus Fenix: Baird - shut up. Keep moving.
- Damon Baird: What? What did I say? I'm... I'm sure there's... there's some nice... Stranded...
- Damon Baird: [Cole and Baird arrive just as Marcus and Dom manage to kill a Corsper] Ah, just in time!
- Dominic Santiago: Just in time to kiss my ass...
- Damon Baird: [if left downed for a long period of time] Aw come on, I wouldn't do this to you!... Okay, maybe I would.
- Victor Hoffman: Bad news, Fenix: it didn't work.
- Marcus Fenix: What do you mean, "it didn't work"?
- Victor Hoffman: I mean, that lousy resonator didn't deliver the goods! We're missing data on - hell, I don't know - most of the tunnel network! We'd need a hundred resonators to map all of the tunnels!
- Marcus Fenix: This is bullshit!
- Damon Baird: [holding up a geobot] So what? We'll just use this instead.
- Dominic Santiago: How 'bout I use it to smash your teeth in?
- Damon Baird: Dammit, they won't stop coming!
- Augustus Cole: Aw, you know you love it!
- Damon Baird: No, actually I *don't!*
- Marcus Fenix: Cole. Baird. We're in.
- Damon Baird: Well it's about time, we've been here for *at least* two minutes.
- Marcus Fenix: [sarcastically] Well good for you smart ass.
- Damon Baird: Kicked. Their. Asses.
- Marcus Fenix: It's not over Baird, you better reload.
- Damon Baird: Huh, why?
- Marcus Fenix: [More Locust emerge ahead and a Troika gunner opens fire] *That's* why.