Woody Harrelson credited as playing...
Captain Tony Stone
- Captain Tony Stone: [walking to deliver the news to a wife that her husband has died] It could be worse. It could be Christmas.
- Captain Tony Stone: It should be in the next couple of blocks...
- Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery: We should just ask someone.
- Captain Tony Stone: No! First of all, *men* don't ask for directions. Much less soldiers.
- Captain Tony Stone: I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin' shit, I'm a goddamn decorated war hero with three months left to serve, and they draft me into the angels-of-death squadron. I get a beeper, a canned speech, and a lunatic commanding officer to serve a fuckin' ocean of grief. Am I right?
- Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery: More or less, sir. Am I right?
- Captain Tony Stone: You gotta wake the fuck up! You're not in high school, you're not in a fuckin' rock band, you're in the Army.
- Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery: Yeah, I know. I know I'm in the Army. I gave blood to the Army. I got blown up in a fire-fight that lasted longer than your entire war. I didn't sunbath in Kuwait with the rest of the POGs.
- Captain Tony Stone: If she's into you, she's into some weird shit.
- Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery: Thank you, sir, I'll make a note of that.
- Captain Tony Stone: One more thing. You do not touch the Next-of-Kin. Avoid physical contact, unless it's a medical emergency, like they're having a heart attack or something. You're representing the Secretary of the Army, not Will Montgomery, so in case you feel like offering a hug or something... don't.
- Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery: [sarcastic] I'm not gonna be offering any hugs, sir.
- Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery: Why did you join?
- Captain Tony Stone: A dare.
- Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery: A dare? Why are you still here?
- Captain Tony Stone: Well, they offered me a commission, and no one dared me to leave.
- Captain Tony Stone: And I dare you to stay.
- Captain Tony Stone: All I ever wanted was to get shot at. Is that too much to ask for, on the battlefield? A battle?
- Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery: We walk into these people lives, we don't know shit.
- Captain Tony Stone: Trust me... you don't wanna know.
- Captain Tony Stone: Civilian life's for people who ain't seen shit. It's too late for you, you've already seen the shit, you can't unsee it anymore. You can't be an insurance salesman now, brother, it's too fukin' late.
- Captain Tony Stone: You a head case?
- Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery: No, sir.
- Captain Tony Stone: I surely hope not.
- Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery: [At the local bar] I'm gonna go home.
- Captain Tony Stone: What for? Internet porn? Come on, you even don't have a computer.