The Simpsons (TV Series)
Cape Feare (1993)
Kelsey Grammer: Sideshow Bob
Quotes
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Blue-Haired Lawyer : What about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say die Bart die?
Sideshow Bob : No, that's German
[unveils tattoo]
Sideshow Bob : for 'The Bart The'.
Woman on Parole Board : No one who speaks German could be an evil man.
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Homer : Hey, kids! Want to drive through that cactus patch?
Bart : Yeah!
Lisa : Yeah!
Sideshow Bob : [underneath car] No!
Homer : Well, two against one!
[drives through cactus field]
Sideshow Bob : Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
-
Sideshow Bob : Now, Bart, any last requests?
Bart Simpson : [sees a sign that says "Springfield 15 Mi" pass behind Bob, decides to buy himself some time] Well, there was one, but... Naah, forget it.
Sideshow Bob : No, go on.
Bart Simpson : It's just that you have such a beautiful voice...
Sideshow Bob : Guilty as charged.
Bart Simpson : Uh huh. Anyway, I was wondering if you could sing the entire score of the "H.M.S. Pinafore".
Sideshow Bob : Very well, Bart. I shall send you to Heaven before I send you to hell. and a 1 and a 2 and
[singing]
Sideshow Bob : "We sail the ocean blue, and our saucy ship's a beauty. We are sober men and true, and attentive to our duty..."
[later]
Sideshow Bob : "I'm called Little Buttercup, poor Little Buttercup, thugh I could never tell why..."
[later]
Sideshow Bob : ..."What never?" "No never." "What never?" "Hardly ever!"
[with Bart]
Sideshow Bob , Bart Simpson : "he's hardly ever sick at sea..."
[later]
Sideshow Bob : "... For he himself has said it, and it's clearly to his credit, that he is an Englishman. He remai-hains ah-han Eh-heh-heh-heh-heh-hengLISHman!"
-
Marge : You awful man! Stay away from my son!
Sideshow Bob : [menacing] Oh, I'll stay away from your son, all right! Stay away... FOREVER!
Homer : Oh, no!
Sideshow Bob : Wait a minute. That's no good.
[walks away, then runs back]
Sideshow Bob : Wait, I've got a good one now! Marge, say "stay away from my son" again.
Marge : No!
-
Bart Simpson : What do you want?
Sideshow Bob : Surely there's no harm in laying in the middle of a public street.
[Bob is subsequently trampled by an oncoming parade, which includes several elephants]
Sideshow Bob : Not the elephants!
-
Police Chief Wiggum : You're under arrest, Sideshow Bob!
Sideshow Bob : BY LUCIFER'S BEARD!
Police Chief Wiggum : Uh... Yeah. It's a good thing you drifted by this brothel!
-
Blue-Haired Lawyer : Robert, if released, would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?
Sideshow Bob : Bart Simpson?
[chuckles]
Sideshow Bob : The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine-soaked hellhole?
Parole Board Officer : Uh, we object to the term "urine-soaked hellhole", when you could have said "pee-pee soaked heckhole."
Sideshow Bob : Cheerfully withdrawn.
-
[after writing a death threat to Bart in blood, Bob starts writing another letter with his bleeding finger]
Sideshow Bob : "Dear 'Life in These United States,' a funny thing happened to me...?
[as his finger bleeds freely, he sways, woozy, and collapses onto the desk]
Snake : Use a pen, Sideshow Bob.