- Granville: It's all you ever talk about is money, i'n't it, eh!
- Albert Arkwright: Well, what else is there to t-talk about? Don't you ever lie awake at night worrying about your overheads?
- Granville: Overheads? I've seen so little of life I don't even have any underheads.
- Albert Arkwright: Your mother had the same reckless, imp-impetuous streak, y'know. Mind you, she didn't have 'im long, his Missus found out.
- Granville: Are you being rude about my mother again?
- Albert Arkwright: No, 'course I'm not. I'm-I'm very f-fond of her, always w-was. Even when she came out in that d-dreadful, big lump. Oh, that was awful, wasn't it. It t-turned out to be you!
- Granville: How do you get away with being so rude to people, eh?
- Albert Arkwright: Oh, it's an acquired s-skill. Plus, I do study the experts: Post Office c-counter staff, anyone in l-local government with his knees under a desk.
- Granville: [disparagingly] I think you're just a natural.
- Albert Arkwright: Well, that's ah-very nice of you to say so, Granville. Especially on my b-birthday.
- Mrs. Delphine Featherstone: Well, I never, I can't look Nurse Gladys in the face again
- Albert Arkwright: Not from this angle, certainly