Open All Hours (TV Series)

Happy Birthday, Arkwright! (1985)

David Jason: Granville

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Quotes 

• Granville : It's all you ever talk about is money, i'n't it, eh!

  Albert Arkwright : Well, what else is there to t-talk about? Don't you ever lie awake at night worrying about your overheads?

  Granville : Overheads? I've seen so little of life I don't even have any underheads.

  Albert Arkwright : Your mother had the same reckless, imp-impetuous streak, y'know. Mind you, she didn't have 'im long, his Missus found out.

  Granville : Are you being rude about my mother again?

  Albert Arkwright : No, 'course I'm not. I'm-I'm very f-fond of her, always w-was. Even when she came out in that d-dreadful, big lump. Oh, that was awful, wasn't it. It t-turned out to be you!

• Granville : How do you get away with being so rude to people, eh?

  Albert Arkwright : Oh, it's an acquired s-skill. Plus, I do study the experts: Post Office c-counter staff, anyone in l-local government with his knees under a desk.

  Granville : [disparagingly]  I think you're just a natural.

  Albert Arkwright : Well, that's ah-very nice of you to say so, Granville. Especially on my b-birthday.