- Cully Barnaby: Come on, Mum. It's going to be great. Rolls Royce. The Orient Express to Venice. It's so romantic.
- Joyce Barnaby: With our luck, the driver will probably be killed.
- D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: What, Murder on the Orient Express? Been done!
- [first lines]
- Blindfolded Boy: Simon! Simon! Simon, please! Simon, Simon. Agh!
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: So, where is the body?
- Dr. George Bullard: Mostly in the hall. The head rolled into the living room. Or it could be brought there as well.
- Cully Barnaby: You're still not going on about the anniversary, are you?
- Joyce Barnaby: It's 25 years, Cully.
- Cully Barnaby: [sighs] I know, I know.
- D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: These days you're lucky to get 25 weeks.
- Cully Barnaby: I vote for the Orient Express to Venice. Something romantic.
- Joyce Barnaby: No. No, I don't think I want to go away at all. Do you know what I want to do?
- D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: Oh, please tell us.
- Joyce Barnaby: I want to retake my marriage vows.
- Cully Barnaby: Do they need retaking?
- Joyce Barnaby: The first time we got married, it was at a registry office. And your father was in the middle of a case.
- D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: Ah, the Pimlico Poisoner.
- Joyce Barnaby: You didn't say I do. You said I got it! And that was the last I saw of you until the honeymoon. This time I want to be the center of attention.
- D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: Ah, Troy.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: Morning, sir.
- D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: Morning to you. Tell me something, Troy. What's your favorite hymn?
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: My what?
- D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: What's your favorite hymn. As in church.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: Oh, I don't know. "Onward Marmite Soldiers?"
- D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: You mean "Onward Christian Soldiers."
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: That's how we used to sing it in school, sir.
- D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: Oh, very droll.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: You going to church, then?
- D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: Indeed I am, Troy. I'm getting re-married.
- Sergeant Gavin Troy: I didn't know you were getting di-vorced...
- Stephen Wentworth: I'm, uh - going over to the church.
- Angela Wentworth: Oh, really?
- Stephen Wentworth: I have a police inspector coming to see me.
- Angela Wentworth: Oh, don't tell me, Stephen. You've been found with your hand in the steeple fund.
- Stephen Wentworth: Don't be ridiculous.
- Angela Wentworth: I was only joking, darling. After all, stealing the small change would be much too daring for you, wouldn't it? So, what does he want then, this police inspector?
- Stephen Wentworth: He wants to retake his marriage vows.
- Angela Wentworth: Why here?
- Stephen Wentworth: I don't know.
- Angela Wentworth: Maybe he wants something small and insignificant. Well, you got the right man for the job.
- Joyce Barnaby: I've got a list of the hymns here. "All Things Bright and Beautiful," "There Is a Green Hill," and "Onwards Christian Soldiers."
- D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: "Onwards Christian Soldiers." That's Troy's favorite.
- Joyce Barnaby: I've invited him, too.
- D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: Oh, you haven't, have you?
- Joyce Barnaby: Yes, I have.
- D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: Ugh. How are you planning to feed them all? Afterwards - all this congregation?
- Joyce Barnaby: I'm talking to caterers. Well, it's cheaper than the Orient Express would have been.
- D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: Well, I suppose you're right. See you later.