- Maya Gallo: So Elliot, are you still coming by tonight to... help me move my couch?
- Elliot DiMauro: Yes, but I still have to stop by the drug store to buy some... slip covers.
- Maya Gallo: No, you don't need to do that because I have something I can put in my... couch... that does the same thing as... slip covers. So just come over at 8.
- Dennis Finch: So, you and Maya are gonna hook up, huh?
- Elliot DiMauro: Jeez, Dennis, how do you know that?
- Dennis Finch: Please. It's like watching Forrest Gump and Nell plan a booty call.
- Burt.Brandi: Hey, assface.
- Dennis Finch: You're the assface, assface.
- Burt.Brandi: You're the assface astronaut who rode a turd rocket to the third ring of Uranus.
- Dennis Finch: Nice!
- Elliot DiMauro: My lovelife sucks. I just got shot down by a girl named Burt.
- Maya Gallo: Don't look at me. Last night I ordered Chinese food just to hear a man on the phone.
- Elliot DiMauro: Ping? He's a good listener.
- Nina Van Horn: There's nothing wrong with covering flaws with a little make-up. I do it all the time.
- Dennis Finch: That's right. If you chip off a few layers, you can see the hickey that Abe Lincoln gave her.
- Nina Van Horn: At least I've had a hickey.
- Dennis Finch: I've had hickeys.
- Nina Van Horn: Cats don't count.
- Dennis Finch: You can do it, get some, snag it, and get up all in there. But make love? That's just offensive.
- Maya Gallo: Having sex with no attachments is great. I feel so liberated.
- Nina Van Horn: I am so proud of you. It's like watching a horny baby take her first steps.