David Spade: Dennis Finch

Quotes 

• Jack Gallo : An au pair is a live-in baby sitter.

  Nina Van Horn : They work for room and board. They're usually foreigners.

  Dennis Finch : Are they all that hot?

  Nina Van Horn : Pretty much. The INS does a good job of screening out the uggos.

  Jack Gallo : It's a controversial policy, but one that works.

• Dennis Finch : Kevin, I'm sorry I can't be with you tonight. I have something I'm working on.

  Kevin Liotta : What?

  Dennis Finch : Details are top secret, but I'm planning on having sex tonight.

• Karen : Why is there a hanger on your back.

  Dennis Finch : Huh? Oh. All the great artists have hangers on their back when they paint. Picasso, Van Gogh, Spagetti-O...

• Dennis Finch : You shot the cover of Rolling Stone? Wow, man. I'm impressed.

  Elliot DiMauro : Thanks. Coming from you, that means a lot.

  Dennis Finch : Wait a minute. Are you being sarcastic?

  Elliot DiMauro : No. Are you?

  Dennis Finch : No. You?

  Elliot DiMauro : I'll tell you what. We'll both answer together on the count of three. Ready? One, two, three.

  Elliot DiMauro , Dennis Finch : Nnnnnoooooyyyeeeeesssss... No!

  Elliot DiMauro : I think we just had a moment.

  Dennis Finch : No, we didn't because I was messing with you. Hey, everyone! Elliot thought we had a moment!

• Dennis Finch : You have excellent qualifications, Esperanza. Unfortunately, I will not be able to hire you as my au pair for one simple reason. I have fallen in love with you. Every time you speak, every time you laugh, it stirs something in me like the wooden flutes and giant guitars of your native Peru. Let's say after dinner we go to my house for a romantic night of doing it.

  [Esperanza throws her drink in Dennis' face] 

• Kevin Liotta : I'm sorry. Can I bake you a pie?

  Dennis Finch : If you mean it when you bake it, yes.