- Stu Dunfy: Born in 1804, Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote such classic fiction as "The Scarlet Letter" and "The House of the Seven Gables". For $100, how stank was his mother?
- Stu Dunfy: Author and humorist Samuel Clemens wrote the classic "Tom Sawyer" under his better known pseudonym. What was that pseudonym, and how big was his mama's butt?
- Ed O'Neill: And your mama's so fat, before God said "Let there be light" he told her "Move your big butt out of the way".
- Ed O'Neill: Your mama's so fat, after sex, she smokes turkeys. She's so fat, after makin' love to her, I roll over twice and I'm still on her.