- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Ma, why do you continue to take pleasure in amusing yourself at my expense?
- Sophia Petrillo: Because we don't have cable and I can't crochet, this is who I am Dorothy, either learn to live with it, or have me medicated.
- Blanche Devereaux: This whole fantasy about Bob Hope is sick.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Sick.
- Blanche Devereaux: I mean, if she's gonna have fantasies, they oughtta be the normal, healthy kind, like... sweaty Argentinian cowboys whippin' things while they ride naked on the back of Brahma bulls.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: I have to remember to stop using your towels.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Ma, you can't sing, you can't dance, you can't tell jokes, you can't be in the show.
- Sophia Petrillo: You can't be in the show, you can't be in the show, who are you, Ricky Ricardo?
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: So that's the catch, you'll let us have the Donatello Triplets if we let your new boyfriend in the show as well.
- Blanche Devereaux: Sophia that's blackmail!
- Sophia Petrillo: That's showbusiness.