Bill Cobbs credited as playing...
Mr. Theophilus Hamilton
- Miss Hastings: [appraising Red's relatives] It's amazing just how far the fruit can fall from the tree.
- Ted Hamilton: And still roll a great distance.
- Ted Hamilton: So you're Jason's friend?
- Emily: Yes. I am.
- Ted Hamilton: True friend?
- Emily: Absolutely. Pinkie promise.
- Ted Hamilton: So how long have you known Mr. Stevens?
- Emily: We go way back, we're like this.
- [crosses fingers]
- Emily: Now where do I sign?
- Ted Hamilton: And, um... , he hasn't promised you any compensation for this friendship?
- Emily: Look at him. Does he LOOK like he has anything to offer?
- [Miss Hastings suppresses a laugh]
- Ted Hamilton: So, uh... , you expect this friendship to continue?
- Emily: I plan on knowing Jason for the rest of my life.
- Ted Hamilton: What he's trying to do is for your benefit, not your destruction.
- Jason Stevens: You know, Hamilton, you sound just like him. But guess what. You're not him.
- Ted Hamilton: I don't know, son. I do have one of his kidneys.
- Ted Hamilton: I think it's time I retire from this law firm.
- Miss Hastings: What ever will you do, Mr. Hamilton?
- Ted Hamilton: Go to work with Jason Stevens. Change the world.
- Ted Hamilton: [reading Red's will] "To Sarah, widow of my late son, Jay Howard Stevens. I am truly sorry for the events of the past. Please know that Jay's death represents the greatest tragedy I have ever experienced. I leave you control of my Myers Park estate where you now reside and a managed trust for expenses as long as you live."
- Sarah Stevens: [smugly to her male companion] There we go.
- Ted Hamilton: [continuing] "Since your choice of male companionship is vast and varied, the deed and title for the house shall remain under the control of my trustees."
- Jason Stevens: That was the gift? I do manual labor for a month and you're trying to tell me it was a favor... to ME?
- Ted Hamilton: The gift of work.
- Jason Stevens: Wow.
- Jason Stevens: I think it's only fair that I know the amount of money that we're dealing with here. Don't you? I mean, I've been gone for a month. Just... tell me. What do I have to do? What is it?
- Ted Hamilton: Red said "a series of gifts," but let me add a personal note: I, too, think this is a waste of time, but it will end shortly because you are going to fail. I expect you to fail and to fail miserably. Now, if you DO want to continue, make an appointment with Miss Hastings.